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#1
Alright, considering this is the only forum I actually go on I'm gonna ask advice here.

I have a friend who is going out with a guy who is 8 years older than her, has a kid, and in three of his relationships (with my friends) that I know of he's threatened suicide when dumped, and twice threatened to kill the girl with the 'if I can't have you, no one can' philosophy (luckily he's a wuss and got his ass kicked by both of these girls, despite coming at them with a knife).

Now, this girl wanted to break up with this guy, and did, after 5 weeks of going out. The guy apparently grabbed her quite harshly and pinned her against a wall - enough to bruise her arms quite badly. Despite me giving her advice to avoid the guy and telling her friend what he has done in the past and to 'keep an eye on him', since last night of her being drunk and crying on my shoulder for half an hour about it, she's going back out with him.

My friends have told me that I should just stay out of the drama and she'll learn the hard way, but it's my friend. And I can't stand guys beating on girls or threatening to kill them. It could get very dangerous.

Why this girl actually wants to go out with a guy who does that sort of thing is beyond me. But I dunno whether I should stay out of it, kick his ****ing ass, or do something else. I'm really tempted to stay out of it, because I'm getting fed up of being the one people look to for advice but still manage to **** it up for themselves by being idiots. What do you guys think? Thanks for any advice.

Oh, and sorry if my writing isn't coherent. I'm pretty hungover and on my 6th cup of coffee.
Matter is void. All is vanity. All is nothing. Nothing exists.

But damn does whisky rule
#5
Either police, or leave her to it.

If you try and stop her, she'll just end up resenting you, even if you're right in the end.
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#6
Friend zone ftl.
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#7
You can go **** yourself with your 'cool story, bro' bull****.

Cool douchebag look, bro
Matter is void. All is vanity. All is nothing. Nothing exists.

But damn does whisky rule
#10
that guy sounds like a fucking psychopath. Seriously dude don't let him get away with it
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#12
I'm that guy to all my female friends. Don't be like me. Don't be friend-zoned.
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#13
Quote by Talonwolf
You can go **** yourself with your 'cool story, bro' bull****.

Cool douchebag look, bro


Cool story, brah
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#15
Quote by Talonwolf
You can go **** yourself with your 'cool story, bro' bull****.

Cool douchebag look, bro


+1

I'd get involved. You rather want to save your friend from getting beaten than be sorry later. She might hate you for it, like another user said, but so what. It's more important that you help her.

Which friend would you rather have? One that minds his own bussiness because he/she is scared of what you might think, or the one that sticks his/her neck out for you?
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#16
**** man, I'm sorry to hear about that. Domestic abuse is terrible. Unfortunately, theres not much you can do about it in your situation. You can call the cops, but they're very limited at what they can do, since they can't really arrest him just because you claimed he beat her, and if the girl is back with him, she probably won't testify against him. Even if you coud somehow get enough evidence to get him arrested, she would hate you for it.

It kind of sucks, but I think the only road to take is to just sit by, and hope for the best. If he beats her again, call the police, and if they can't put him away, kick his ass.
#17
Quote by chimairapwns
**** man, I'm sorry to hear about that. Domestic abuse is terrible. Unfortunately, theres not much you can do about it in your situation. You can call the cops, but they're very limited at what they can do, since they can't really arrest him just because you claimed he beat her, and if the girl is back with him, she probably won't testify against him. Even if you coud somehow get enough evidence to get him arrested, she would hate you for it.

It kind of sucks, but I think the only road to take is to just sit by, and hope for the best. If he beats her again, call the police, and if they can't put him away, kick his ass.

Nice sig, hypocrite.

EDIT: WTF? Now you remove it...

His sig was "I'd hit that like a wife who doesn't listen"
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yea its way too much for my little stick lol
Last edited by sw1ss023 at Jul 19, 2009,
#18
Even if you coud somehow get enough evidence to get him arrested, she would hate you for it.


The guy apparently grabbed her quite harshly and pinned her against a wall - enough to bruise her arms quite badly.


There's your evidence, take it or leave it.
#19
The police won't do crap here, trust me. All they care about is busting weed dealers and provoking victims of assault into getting angry so they have an excuse to go away and eat McDonald's.

I used to have respect for the police as well >.>
Matter is void. All is vanity. All is nothing. Nothing exists.

But damn does whisky rule
#21
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REMEMBER, women like nice guys who treat them like a gentleman.

Right girls?


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#22
Quote by TimBFMV
that guy sounds like a fucking psychopath. Seriously dude don't let him get away with it

yeah, this.

As they say, the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. And believe me, domestic violence has the potential to ruin a lot of lives.

Does your friend have self esteem issues or anything or feel like she can't get anyone else? or just doesn't like being single? I don't really know how you can assure her that she deserves better but try and keep her out of that situation. Could be really tricky though, some people the more you try and convince them of something, it makes them want to do it all the more. in the long run I think she'd thank you for it.

however if something does happen, please don't blame yourself.

guys who beat girls are worthless. :\
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#24
Quote by Prankster1990
+1

I'd get involved. You rather want to save your friend from getting beaten than be sorry later. She might hate you for it, like another user said, but so what. It's more important that you help her.

Which friend would you rather have? One that minds his own bussiness because he/she is scared of what you might think, or the one that sticks his/her neck out for you?


Think you've got the right idea, man. I'll tell the police even though they really won't do anything about it. And if they don't, I'll confront him about it (I've talked to him a few times and he seems a decent guy... just not when it comes to women). I can probably spook him into calming down or staying away from her. If she gets pissed off at least I saved her from a few more bruises. Besides, I got enough friends to not really miss one just because I did the morally right thing.

Might help me get into heaven
Matter is void. All is vanity. All is nothing. Nothing exists.

But damn does whisky rule
#25
Quote by Cobain_Is_King
Good times.


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#26
Quote by Kata Dante
yeah, this.

As they say, the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. And believe me, domestic violence has the potential to ruin a lot of lives.

Does your friend have self esteem issues or anything or feel like she can't get anyone else? or just doesn't like being single? I don't really know how you can assure her that she deserves better but try and keep her out of that situation. Could be really tricky though, some people the more you try and convince them of something, it makes them want to do it all the more. in the long run I think she'd thank you for it.

however if something does happen, please don't blame yourself.

guys who beat girls are worthless. :\


From what I can gather, she's slightly confused with herself. She feels that she deliberately avoids relationships the second she feels attached to someone - hence the first breakup. Although she's against his drug use (eccies and acid), she felt that she was just trying to find 'excuses' to break up with him because of her mindset. So basically, I think she's trying her damned hardest to keep the relationship to get over her frame of mind of trying to escape the second she feels something for someone.

Just a shame she's trying to do it with the worst guy imaginable.
Matter is void. All is vanity. All is nothing. Nothing exists.

But damn does whisky rule
#27
Quote by Fraz01
Is that not domestic abuse?


THere's rarely a point in doing that. The vast majority of domestic abuse cases never make it to court and this girl doesn't sound like she's going to testify against him.

If I was you and she was a good friend of mine I'd take matters into my own hands.













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Last edited by eterom11 at Jul 19, 2009,
#28
Quote by MyDesertRose
Expecto Patronum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




ts if you can kick his ass kick his ass or stay out of it. or tell your friend to turn to someone else for advice
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#31
Quote by Talonwolf
From what I can gather, she's slightly confused with herself. She feels that she deliberately avoids relationships the second she feels attached to someone - hence the first breakup. Although she's against his drug use (eccies and acid), she felt that she was just trying to find 'excuses' to break up with him because of her mindset. So basically, I think she's trying her damned hardest to keep the relationship to get over her frame of mind of trying to escape the second she feels something for someone.

Just a shame she's trying to do it with the worst guy imaginable.

ah, I see... no wonder guys have such trouble figuring out girls sometimes.

Well good luck with everything man. hope it works out ok.
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#32
Quote by Talonwolf
Alright, considering this is the only forum I actually go on I'm gonna ask advice here.

I have a friend who is going out with a guy who is 8 years older than her, has a kid, and in three of his relationships (with my friends) that I know of he's threatened suicide when dumped, and twice threatened to kill the girl with the 'if I can't have you, no one can' philosophy (luckily he's a wuss and got his ass kicked by both of these girls, despite coming at them with a knife).

Now, this girl wanted to break up with this guy, and did, after 5 weeks of going out. The guy apparently grabbed her quite harshly and pinned her against a wall - enough to bruise her arms quite badly. Despite me giving her advice to avoid the guy and telling her friend what he has done in the past and to 'keep an eye on him', since last night of her being drunk and crying on my shoulder for half an hour about it, she's going back out with him.

My friends have told me that I should just stay out of the drama and she'll learn the hard way, but it's my friend. And I can't stand guys beating on girls or threatening to kill them. It could get very dangerous.

Why this girl actually wants to go out with a guy who does that sort of thing is beyond me. But I dunno whether I should stay out of it, kick his ****ing ass, or do something else. I'm really tempted to stay out of it, because I'm getting fed up of being the one people look to for advice but still manage to **** it up for themselves by being idiots. What do you guys think? Thanks for any advice.

Oh, and sorry if my writing isn't coherent. I'm pretty hungover, on my 6th cup of coffee, and just doing this for attention.


fixed

edit: funny how UGers never seem to go to the right people like the police, the doctor, a shrink, and ect.
#25 for top 100 UGer of 2009
UG's 2nd Funniest UGer and 3rd most likely to be a Serial Killer of 2009, 2nd of 2011
Last edited by reb_49 at Jul 19, 2009,
#33
Quote by reb_49
fixed

edit: funny how UGers never seem to go to the right people like the police, the doctor, a shrink, and ect.


Because some of use are police, doctors, and shrink, or atleast we think we are.
#34
Quote by diminishedtobme
Because some of use are police, doctors, and shrink, or atleast we think we are.

...well in that case I am Officer Yanez, there seem to be a problem here TS
#25 for top 100 UGer of 2009
UG's 2nd Funniest UGer and 3rd most likely to be a Serial Killer of 2009, 2nd of 2011
#36
Petrol bomb his house when she's not with him.
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#37
Quote by MyDesertRose
Expecto Patronum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this.

but if youre not a wizard, then i'd say call the police or kick his ass.
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#38
You can't call the police unless he actually does something.
*-)
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#39
Ignore what Talonwolf said. Call the police. Even if they don't do ****, nobody will be able to say you should have. About her "learning the hard way", if she didn't learn the first time, she won't learn now. Or you could give her a switchblade or something.
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