#1
My girlfriend texted me a minute ago.
"Will you be my vampire?"
Excited, I quickly reply "Yes ma'am."
Then, curiosity hit me.
"Why?"
"I'm reading twilight haha."

****.

"Oh no no no no god dammit son of a bitch no no mother ****er no"
"Calm down, I'm not obsessed"
"No, but Jessica was" (ex-gf of mine)
"Well, am I jessica? gah"
"No, that's my point."
"You were freaking out."
"I really don't like it."
"Read it?"
"Don't have to."
"Seen the movie?"
"Again, don't have to."
"I hate when people do that about anyone or anything."
"I dated jessica. I know the story. She told me. Numerous times."


How can I get her away from this god forsaken book?

tl,dr: girlfriend started reading twilight, I want her to stop.
We are the diamonds that choose to stay coal;
A generation born to witness
The end of the world

Last edited by mrfinkle213 at Jul 19, 2009,
#3
Kill it with fire, then **** her to seal off the curse
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#4
Quote by powerslave69
Kill it with fire, then **** her to seal off the curse


So far going with this solution.
We are the diamonds that choose to stay coal;
A generation born to witness
The end of the world

#6
Well then..I think we now who's trying to cover up their severe Twilight obsession..

May God have mercy on your soul.
#7
Quote by severed-metal
Well then..I think we now who's trying to cover up their severe Twilight obsession..

May God have mercy on your soul.


Oh I get it, you mean me.
We are the diamonds that choose to stay coal;
A generation born to witness
The end of the world

#9
I dunno, but if you keep reminding your girlfriend about your ex girlfriend then you won't have to do anything.
#10
Quote by metaldud536
You could let her read it and grow a pair.


She'll read it regardless of what I think about it. I just fear the day she calls me Edward.
We are the diamonds that choose to stay coal;
A generation born to witness
The end of the world

#12
You know, I don't think anyone has ever been in this terrible a situation. What an awful predicament! You poor soul. If I were you I would just give up on existence altogether and kill myself right there in front of the computer.
#13
tell her the book makes her look fat.....jus a suggestion
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#15
Quote by gallagher2006
How long have you been seeing her?

Any less than a year...Might be worth breaking it off...


3 years. I have the full intention of marrying her.
We are the diamonds that choose to stay coal;
A generation born to witness
The end of the world

#16
Punch the bitch in the face.

Also, you lost her bro. I have seen countless people say one day "Twilight sucks! I don't get why everyone likes it!" A few days later "I'm gonna read it, but I promise I won't get obsessed. Next week, ""OMG Edward is a hottie! I love him! Why aren't you more like Edward!?!?!?! I hate you!!!" Give up now. There's no way she's coming back.
#17
Quote by Twist of fate
Dude, are you seriously letting this opportunity slip?

You guys role play twilight
You **** her.



PROBLEM SOLVED.


Thank you, sir.
Thank you.
We are the diamonds that choose to stay coal;
A generation born to witness
The end of the world

#18
Quote by Twist of fate
Dood, are you seriously letting this opportunity slip?

You guys role play twilight
You **** her.



I would go for this, it's a stupid fad , but a golden oppourtunity.
#20
On a more serious note, please wait until she finishes at least the second book before you think about marriage. If she becomes obsessed, you may want to reconsider. Anyone who fantasizes about a fictional vampire and worships him is not mature enough for marriage.
#21
you're complaining?
girls have this strange thing with really really really wanting Edward's junk, so if she calls you Edward, that's actually a good thing.
See above post ^
#22
Take book.

Burn book.

Make self happy.

Ugh, me eat steak, drink beer, shout wiminz, you pussy.

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#23
Quote by ChrisBG
I dunno, but if you keep reminding your girlfriend about your ex girlfriend then you won't have to do anything.


...Exactly! Christ man, shut up! She'll kill you if you keep going on about your ex. I mentioned my ex's name once and got the cold shoulder for a week...
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#25
Quote by mrfinkle213
She'll read it regardless of what I think about it. I just fear the day she calls me Edward.


No, I clearly mean the other obviously whiny homosexual TS in this thread.