#1
I'm gonna reach up
& choke the sky
I'm gonna do it
& you need not know why

But if you wanna
you wanna know
I might tell you
so you need not go

This place is full of
of freaks & liars
filling in like
like creeping fire

They came & got us
for their show
No where to run
no where go

try and run
try and hide
the only solution
is to....
CHOKE THE SKY
Quote by Union Jake
just straight up normal male group jerking session, it was like i was on my own aprt from getting kinda bumped into and the weird noises.
Wait what?

Quote by bodyheatseeker

You earned your name, pal.
#2
Quote by badassasaurus
I'm gonna reach up
& choke the sky
I'm gonna do it
& you need not know why I felt this line/stanza felt to forced. How about I'm gonna reach up; and choke the sky; Regardless of what; You say or why

But if you wanna
you wanna know
I might tell you
so you need not go

This place is full of
of freaks & liars
filling in like
like creeping fire I really love the repetition and flow of these 2 stanzas...

They came & got us
for their show
No where to run
no where go

try and run
try and hide
the only solution
is to....
CHOKE THE SKY but you didn't do it in the last 2


All in all, it's quite nice. Could use a bit of work, but if you did it would be really quite good. If it's not any trouble, I would really appreciate some crit on the piece in my sig.