#1
This is a sonnet that I wrote a few months ago...

Humpty Dumpty


Awoke this morning or I dreamed I did
Unsure within myself, my mind, or health.
On yesterday my back did ache, upon
My bed just ‘fore dawn gleamed on dewy lawn.
The day before that my throat itched and coughed
Spring’s bitter pollen left my sore nose stuffed.
I follow, deaf, my stationary heart
I’m breaking piece by piece and part by part.
You listen, dumb, but want to speak to me
Your loving grace, your physical embrace
When stricken blind you’ll help me o’er the wall.
I know you’ll pick me up when I do fall.
King’s horses and men should have tried again
But they see, hear, and speak unlike true friends.

please critique!
#2
good stuff man, not a real big fan of the title, but i dont know what you would change it to. IMO the title just makes it sound like its going to be kinda lame...but the actual material is great! crit songs on my profile?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1166006
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#4
Quote by FlyingLeukemia
*reported*

Read the rules and see why this was reported, thanks.

Could you please clarify as to why it was reported? I read the rules and It doesn't appear that have broken any.
#5
It's pretty good, but there are some places where you "pad the meter", like 'I do fall'. It's better if you avoid adding extra words to make the rhythm good, and rather use longer more descriptive words of flesh out what you are trying to say.