icronic
...
Join date: Aug 2004
2,638 IQ
#2
How can I put this delicately. Your solo guitar, was never playing in the right key. Ever. Aside from the powerchords, pretty much every note you hit was the wrong one, it's just not good

The arpeggios were good, and the drums were passably good, but the rest of the song you basically need to redo.

The biggest thing I can suggest is to figure out what key you're supposed to be in and stick to it.
longneckdude
Cliff Lives
Join date: Sep 2007
133 IQ
#3
the lead guitar riff at the beginning reminds me of every breath you take by the police lol sounds good. Loved the bass btw it's nice to hear something other than just a bunch of root notes like most people do.
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actaderock
UG's Paisa
Join date: Apr 2008
2,570 IQ
#4
Quote by icronic
How can I put this delicately. Your solo guitar, was never playing in the right key. Ever. Aside from the powerchords, pretty much every note you hit was the wrong one, it's just not good

The arpeggios were good, and the drums were passably good, but the rest of the song you basically need to redo.

The biggest thing I can suggest is to figure out what key you're supposed to be in and stick to it.


Solo or the mini-solos in the verse or what are you talking about?
kaos572
MetalliShredder
Join date: Apr 2008
719 IQ
#5
every thing other than the solos is good not great but good i like the bass the best. the leads (every one) sucked so bad because they were all off key. they sounded painful incredibly painful. and you should have a rhythm guitar. overall 1.7/5

crit mine in my sig
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icronic
...
Join date: Aug 2004
2,638 IQ
#6
Quote by actaderock
Solo or the mini-solos in the verse or what are you talking about?


All of it.

The solo was the worst though, because the bass, the rhythm and the solo guitar were all in completely different keys.

Still the licks in the verses were all totally off as well.
actaderock
UG's Paisa
Join date: Apr 2008
2,570 IQ
#7
Quote by kaos572
every thing other than the solos is good not great but good i like the bass the best. the leads (every one) sucked so bad because they were all off key. they sounded painful incredibly painful. and you should have a rhythm guitar. overall 1.7/5

crit mine in my sig

it has a rhythm guitar, it starts with arpeggios
actaderock
UG's Paisa
Join date: Apr 2008
2,570 IQ
#9
Quote by icronic
All of it.

The solo was the worst though, because the bass, the rhythm and the solo guitar were all in completely different keys.

Still the licks in the verses were all totally off as well.


is the key Eminor?
hazardmaster
Bubba Gump
Join date: Dec 2007
439 IQ
#10
Honestly mate, the intro is just FAR too much like Every Breath You Take by The Police. Sorry, you really need to change that!
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actaderock
UG's Paisa
Join date: Apr 2008
2,570 IQ
#11
Quote by hazardmaster
Honestly mate, the intro is just FAR too much like Every Breath You Take by The Police. Sorry, you really need to change that!

**** yeah! and I hate that song, and i havent heard it ages ago, guess it was a subconscious thing, so yeah, im gonna let this one die.
icronic
...
Join date: Aug 2004
2,638 IQ
#12
Quote by actaderock
anyway, can someone help me please with the key thing?


C# minor pentatonic would be a good starting place.
actaderock
UG's Paisa
Join date: Apr 2008
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#13
Quote by icronic
C# minor pentatonic would be a good starting place.

it sounds soooo much like everybreath you take that im gonna let it die, but thanks for the advice, your crits are almost destructive but if you think it through they are constructive, so please accept an add
icronic
...
Join date: Aug 2004
2,638 IQ
#14
Quote by actaderock
is the key Eminor?


E major.

It's a bit of an awkward progression to solo over anyway since you're really pushing the sus2 chords, so you've got to be a little more picky than normal about what notes you're playing.

Quote by actaderock
it sounds soooo much like everybreath you take that im gonna let it die, but thanks for the advice, your crits are almost destructive but if you think it through they are constructive, so please accept an add


Sorry, I can be a little too honest sometimes. But I do try to help wherever I can.

It's the sus2 chords that give it that every breath you take sound. You're using a different progression and a different key than them though. The real thing is that any single part from nearly anyones songs will sound like something from someone else, it's the combination (guitars, bass, drums) that will set it apart in the long run, so if you like what you've got, don't give up on it.
Last edited by icronic at Jul 21, 2009,
actaderock
UG's Paisa
Join date: Apr 2008
2,570 IQ
#15
Quote by icronic
E major.

It's a bit of an awkward progression to solo over anyway since you're really pushing the sus2 chords, so you've got to be a little more picky than normal about what notes you're playing.


Sorry, I can be a little too honest sometimes. But I do try to help wherever I can.

It's the sus2 chords that give it that every breath you take sound. You're using a different progression and a different key than them though. The real thing is that any single part from nearly anyones songs will sound like something from someone else, it's the combination (guitars, bass, drums) that will set it apart in the long run, so if you like what you've got, don't give up on it.


ive made a kickass riff, i really hope something good comes out of it, so when it comes out, please crit it