actaderock
UG's Paisa
Join date: Apr 2008
2,570 IQ
#1
EDIT: V3 has arrived, this is the last version, just before actually doing it with the real band. The only thing i have to say is that the drum solo will be better in real life.
Attachments:
nueva v3.gp5
nueva v3.gp4
Last edited by actaderock at Jul 24, 2009,
icronic
...
Join date: Aug 2004
2,638 IQ
#2
Way better than the last one you posted.

Very catchy riff, and a cool bassline to go along with it.

Only a couple real negatives. Didn't really like the lead guitar in bars 18-19 (and it's repetitions) and there were a couple lead phrases that ended a little too abruptly, or unresolved. Those are on bars 14 and 33.

Otherwise nice job.
actaderock
UG's Paisa
Join date: Apr 2008
2,570 IQ
#3
Quote by icronic
Way better than the last one you posted.

Very catchy riff, and a cool bassline to go along with it.

Only a couple real negatives. Didn't really like the lead guitar in bars 18-19 (and it's repetitions) and there were a couple lead phrases that ended a little too abruptly, or unresolved. Those are on bars 14 and 33.

Otherwise nice job.

about bars 18-19 I am thinking in quitting all of that cheesy leading in the chorus and just leave the chords. In the last chorus (the one that repeats a lot) I plan (with the cheesy leading out) replacing the sustained chords with Chananananananana (8th notes of thoses chords, lol) to give a little punky touch to the song.

About the bars 14 and 33 I know what you are trying to say. Maybe it is because I am not letting ring any note? you tell me...
icronic
...
Join date: Aug 2004
2,638 IQ
#4
Yeah, it's partly because you cut the last note off so quickly, it's partly because you cut it off in a strange place like kind of just off the middle of a beat instead of on the beat, or on the & of that beat, and partly because you stop on a note other than the root or 5th or occasionally the 3rd of the chord you're playing over.

Edit: Bahaha, did you really have to resurrect the first song I ever posted on here My newer stuff is so much better.
Last edited by icronic at Jul 21, 2009,
jimmyled
*****es ain't ****
Join date: Apr 2008
783 IQ
#5
The intro is fine but the last note in each bar should be longer. The 16-19 part was OK but bar 18 was annoying. On the whole nice, but not great. Also in the guitar licks you should consider elongating the last note of the first bar. 6.5/10, but it's unfinished.
My songs are in my sig if you want to check them out.
Edit: New version is way better. You still need to use even longer notes at the end of bars though. Drum Solo was awesome. Outro was really good. 8.5/10
Last edited by jimmyled at Jul 25, 2009,
Dashbash
zomg
Join date: Jan 2008
33 IQ
#6
Bad:
Hated bars 16-20 : /
Riff was ok but not so good that it would play almost all the time
Timing was bad at some place but i know it's hard to put just right timing on gp5.
Good:
Intro Bass
Last edited by Dashbash at Jul 21, 2009,
sfaune92
Used Register
Join date: Oct 2008
616 IQ
#7
Bad:
The leads which just stopped like if the lead guitarist have been shot dead on stage.
Good:
Everything else, loved the bassline

Edit: I see that a guy found this funny hehe, and I gave a more detailed crit down a few posts here.
ERROR 0x45: Signature not found
Last edited by sfaune92 at Jul 22, 2009,
actaderock
UG's Paisa
Join date: Apr 2008
2,570 IQ
#8
thanks a lot guys and i bars 16-20 are really annoying, they will be out for sure
actaderock
UG's Paisa
Join date: Apr 2008
2,570 IQ
#9
Quote by icronic
Yeah, it's partly because you cut the last note off so quickly, it's partly because you cut it off in a strange place like kind of just off the middle of a beat instead of on the beat, or on the & of that beat, and partly because you stop on a note other than the root or 5th or occasionally the 3rd of the chord you're playing over.

Edit: Bahaha, did you really have to resurrect the first song I ever posted on here My newer stuff is so much better.


actaderock
UG's Paisa
Join date: Apr 2008
2,570 IQ
#10
Quote by jimmyled
The intro is fine but the last note in each bar should be longer. The 16-19 part was OK but bar 18 was annoying. On the whole nice, but not great. Also in the guitar licks you should consider elongating the last note of the first bar. 6.5/10, but it's unfinished.
My songs are in my sig if you want to check them out.

the last note in each bar is longer in real life, just couldn't figure out how it would fit in guitar pro
actaderock
UG's Paisa
Join date: Apr 2008
2,570 IQ
#11
Quote by sfaune92
Bad:
The leads which just stopped like if the lead guitarist have been shot dead on stage.
Good:
Everything else, loved the bassline

Quote by sfaune92
Bad:
stopped like if the lead guitarist have been shot dead on stage.

Quote by sfaune92
Bad:
shot dead on stage.


icronic
...
Join date: Aug 2004
2,638 IQ
#12
Quote by actaderock
the last note in each bar is longer in real life, just couldn't figure out how it would fit in guitar pro


Well, either make the note value longer, or press L on the next beat (on the proper string) to extend the note.
MattAnderson111
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2007
4,055 IQ
#13
This song is pretty good, I really like the idea, even though I don't listen to this genre, but the chorus, to be honest, doesn't fit, the part with the lead up on the E and B strings, the progression doesn't fit the mood. but besides that, it was really good. The little licks in between really brought out that 70's feel, the solos were classic, I enjoyed them, I'd give this a 8.5/10
Poop.


Yes, poop.
actaderock
UG's Paisa
Join date: Apr 2008
2,570 IQ
#14
Quote by MattAnderson111
This song is pretty good, I really like the idea, even though I don't listen to this genre, but the chorus, to be honest, doesn't fit, the part with the lead up on the E and B strings, the progression doesn't fit the mood. but besides that, it was really good. The little licks in between really brought out that 70's feel, the solos were classic, I enjoyed them, I'd give this a 8.5/10


V2 doesn't have the cheesy leading, so you must have seen V1
sfaune92
Used Register
Join date: Oct 2008
616 IQ
#15
Thank for the crit (even though your "edit" comfused me a little)

I love this one, that riff is epic (even though it feels like I've heard that melody before)
The basslines is epic, that bass fill blew my mind lol.
Try to make the bass and drums to kinda drag the chorus trough. (like making an interesting bassline and a good solid drum beat)
Overall, good solid song, It probably lacked an extended guitar solo but that probably
just me. 8/10
ERROR 0x45: Signature not found
Last edited by sfaune92 at Jul 22, 2009,
Nose Spray
Noob in a Box (:
Join date: Oct 2007
651 IQ
#16
If you wanted the riff to be longer.. Maybe make the song (or the riff) in 5/4?

The riff was pretty good anyway.. Solo parts were ok but sounded kinda wierd when all the other instruments stopped playing (wth happend at bar 41-42, didnt like that) xD

Overall cool song.. Loved the bassline. Drums were good.. Yeah; Good song man.. Maybe there's something you can do to do it better, maybe another riff or a bridge? To make it less repetive :P
KON KON ^^
tukk04
UG's Neil Young
Join date: Sep 2008
1,076 IQ
#17
Good riff, sounds like AC/DC with a little bit darker vibe; and the bassline was great!
The only bad thing i can say is that the lead parts into the chorus(like bar 15) seem odd without bass or drums backing it unless your going to cut the vocals right before the phrase as a bridge to lead it into the chorus
actaderock
UG's Paisa
Join date: Apr 2008
2,570 IQ
#18
Quote by Nose Spray
If you wanted the riff to be longer.. Maybe make the song (or the riff) in 5/4?

The riff was pretty good anyway.. Solo parts were ok but sounded kinda wierd when all the other instruments stopped playing (wth happend at bar 41-42, didnt like that) xD

Overall cool song.. Loved the bassline. Drums were good.. Yeah; Good song man.. Maybe there's something you can do to do it better, maybe another riff or a bridge? To make it less repetive :P


A drum solo that isn't gonna be in guitar pro, it is going to be in real life
actaderock
UG's Paisa
Join date: Apr 2008
2,570 IQ
#19
Quote by tukk04
Good riff, sounds like AC/DC with a little bit darker vibe; and the bassline was great!
The only bad thing i can say is that the lead parts into the chorus(like bar 15) seem odd without bass or drums backing it unless your going to cut the vocals right before the phrase as a bridge to lead it into the chorus


yeah im gonna cut the vocals there

and about the daker AC/DC i also thought that
thorbor
UG's only Holo
Join date: Oct 2008
1,325 IQ
#20
I dont know, perhaps it is because you mentioned the song lyrics are in spanish, but I somehow get a ....."mexican" feeling in there. The song is quite good, I suppose GP just makes it sound bad and it's clearly a live song. I like your bluesy fills and and the main riff but the song seems to be a bit too short. Maybe use the intro as an outro too and play it slowly with a singel guitar at the end of the song, but it really depends on the feeling you want to create with the song.

Overalla nice song, )/10 when performed well
(•_&bull

( •_&bull>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
actaderock
UG's Paisa
Join date: Apr 2008
2,570 IQ
#21
Quote by thorbor
I dont know, perhaps it is because you mentioned the song lyrics are in spanish, but I somehow get a ....."mexican" feeling in there. The song is quite good, I suppose GP just makes it sound bad and it's clearly a live song. I like your bluesy fills and and the main riff but the song seems to be a bit too short. Maybe use the intro as an outro too and play it slowly with a singel guitar at the end of the song, but it really depends on the feeling you want to create with the song.

Overalla nice song, )/10 when performed well

im colombian, but thanks for the crit (I think mexico has the second best rock in all of latin america, first is argentina, then mexico, then colombia, the rest is paractically ****)
defiance64
>:) Imma mad-smiley! Raha
Join date: Feb 2007
2,255 IQ
#22
The intro switch in tempo is a little "MeH" but other than that, it was pretty good. Try to build the tempo instead.

The solo-ish type thing was pretty good, it added some variety.

Chorus, ( I guess? ) I'm sorry but it was boring, Choruses are supposed to hook you on the song. Maybe vocals could fix this issue?

After the chorus it felt extremely drug on, maybe adding some really neat drums would fix that.

39-42 wtf? Sorry Lol.

The last chorus sounded better than the precedents.

The very ending part was kinda nice it seemed like it was kinda of epic, but it ended far far FAR too abrubtly.

Overall: 7/10. ~ Work on Transitions, and Variations. Maybe fix some of the paused parts...? Otherwise good song, it would probably make my favorites.
PSN: RokkstarX
Live: RokkyX

All my original (C4C) material is located here.
actaderock
UG's Paisa
Join date: Apr 2008
2,570 IQ
#23
Quote by defiance64
The intro switch in tempo is a little "MeH" but other than that, it was pretty good. Try to build the tempo instead.

The solo-ish type thing was pretty good, it added some variety.

Chorus, ( I guess? ) I'm sorry but it was boring, Choruses are supposed to hook you on the song. Maybe vocals could fix this issue?

After the chorus it felt extremely drug on, maybe adding some really neat drums would fix that.

39-42 wtf? Sorry Lol.

The last chorus sounded better than the precedents.

The very ending part was kinda nice it seemed like it was kinda of epic, but it ended far far FAR too abrubtly.

Overall: 7/10. ~ Work on Transitions, and Variations. Maybe fix some of the paused parts...? Otherwise good song, it would probably make my favorites.


OK, thanks for the crit, but i guess that those are things that can only be fixed in real life, so wait for the real life version.
But there will be a last guitar pro version, where it will have a solo.
Z3r0747
Registered User
Join date: Jul 2009
54 IQ
#24
That was pretty neat, I don't listen to this genre a whole lot but it was pretty solid, except for the chorus which was empty and boring, but it's obviously meant for vocals, right? . The last chorus was nice.

Good solo, fits the song well. Outro was kickass except I think it would be better if you just let the guitar ring out instead of being cut off at the end.

Pretty good though, 8.5/10.
sfaune92
Used Register
Join date: Oct 2008
616 IQ
#25
Quote by sfaune92
Thank for the crit (even though your "edit" comfused me a little)

I love this one, that riff is epic (even though it feels like I've heard that melody before)
The basslines is epic, that bass fill blew my mind lol.
Try to make the bass and drums to kinda drag the chorus trough. (like making an interesting bassline and a good solid drum beat)
Overall, good solid song, It probably lacked an extended guitar solo but that probably
just me. 8/10


I still has the same opinions
but the guitar solo made i like it a little more 8.5 of 10
(I still want you to change that chorus)
ERROR 0x45: Signature not found
Squares
Similar to Rectangles
Join date: Dec 2008
717 IQ
#26
Not really much to say. has an old school feel.

Only beef is the third bar in your chorus'

Sounded off key.


Nicely done though, simple yet ...

groovy.


P.S.
Your color-sheme hurts my eyes D:
Last edited by Squares at Jul 25, 2009,
Msu_Man04
UG's Twitchy Fella
Join date: Jan 2007
1,811 IQ
#27
Well, I like that you stepped into 6/4 time, and I love the groove of the riff. I don't like the occasional random things, because they end so fast, but I like how kinda groovy and bluesy they are. It's not a bad song, really. Solid.
Nose Spray
Noob in a Box (:
Join date: Oct 2007
651 IQ
#28
Yeah the riff sound much better now with 12/8 the solo you added was pretty good.. The chorus I guess is ok if you add some good vocals. A little bit better than before.. except from that, not much to crit really xD
KON KON ^^
Vileartist
Registered User
Join date: Jul 2009
43 IQ
#29
I think It's very good, very catchy riff and easy to follow. The only flaws I found personally were that I think the chorus needs something more then just 1 note per measure... It's too bland in comparison to the rest of the song. Also I think the "punky chorus" really wants 3 more notes per measure. To give it an even more "punky" feel.
tiammetadeth
tiammetadeth
Join date: Feb 2006
756 IQ
#30
-well i really liked the drums with the riff!!
-i hated bar 15, too generic i guess!!
-i suggest for the first 2 notes of bar 23, that u bend the 10th fret of the B string (=>bending from A to B) and the third note in this bar should a D not C - just an opinion
-the guitar solo is good enough, i suggest u add to the blues note, wich should be A# here

btw thanks for crit my song
actaderock
UG's Paisa
Join date: Apr 2008
2,570 IQ
#31
Quote by tiammetadeth
-well i really liked the drums with the riff!!
-i hated bar 15, too generic i guess!!
-i suggest for the first 2 notes of bar 23, that u bend the 10th fret of the B string (=>bending from A to B) and the third note in this bar should a D not C - just an opinion
-the guitar solo is good enough, i suggest u add to the blues note, wich should be A# here

btw thanks for crit my song

wow the blues note thing was an awsome suggestion