#1
A new song I just finished, im looking for critisism on Music, Lyrics, and overall song structure (no song name yet) i don't mind if you want to say its bad, im not gonna limit you to positive feedback. It was overall inpired by bleach/incesticide-era nirvana and some soundgarden.


if you want CFC mention it at the end of your post and give me a link!

@antisocial:i'm the guitarist/singer for a trio so i had to make the chorus easy for me to sing and play at the same time

Edit: I reworked the solo and uploaded it
Attachments:
New rock song.zip
Last edited by tukk04 at Jul 23, 2009,
#2
I like the song.....
Only critisicm I have is that the guitar part of the chorus is very VERY basic and simple, making it kinda boring, try some variations in the rhythm of the guitar.

But great job overall!
#3
when I heard the intro, i thought it was just another Megadeth wannabe.

But as i heard the rest of the song

8.5/10

The melody is REALLY catchy as well as the riff, plus a good solo (bar 41 is epic), maybe you are not a megadeth wannabe, maybe you are the next megadeth

C4C
#4
Mr.song crit extraordinaire, haha that amuses me.

Anyway, I liked that opening riff. Tritones are always fun. It does get repetitive after a while though, it'd be nice if you threw in some kind of variation in. Especially right before a section change.

Verse. That's a really REALLY odd vocal melody that's completely out of key, but it works. It's got a really kind of tense creepy vibe to it. I really like that you dropped the guitar out for the vocal part. It really makes it a lot more effective.

The guitar lick in the bridge is a little out of key, and sounds kind of weird. But the last 2 beats of bar 14 did a really great job of re-introducing the main riff.

I liked the chorus. Simple but effective, both on the part of the guitars and melody.

Post chorus. Need to really start hearing some variations on that riff

Break, was good. Carried on with the rather odd out of key stuff, and did it rather well.

Solo: Oh so many awesome ideas. The trem bend in the beginning, bars 41 and 43, but the out of key notes here really kind of throw it off. You should for the most part be sticking with G blues pentatonic, with a little G Phrygian thrown in. All the half step stuff between C, C# G, G# and D D# can provide plenty of tension without actually leaving the key.

Either way though, it's a very catchy song.
#5
Quote by icronic
Mr.song crit extraordinaire, haha that amuses me.
Anyway, I liked that opening riff. Tritones are always fun. It does get repetitive after a while though, it'd be nice if you threw in some kind of variation in. Especially right before a section change.
Verse. That's a really REALLY odd vocal melody that's completely out of key, but it works. It's got a really kind of tense creepy vibe to it. I really like that you dropped the guitar out for the vocal part. It really makes it a lot more effective.
The guitar lick in the bridge is a little out of key, and sounds kind of weird. But the last 2 beats of bar 14 did a really great job of re-introducing the main riff.
I liked the chorus. Simple but effective, both on the part of the guitars and melody.
Post chorus. Need to really start hearing some variations on that riff
Break, was good. Carried on with the rather odd out of key stuff, and did it rather well.
Solo: Oh so many awesome ideas. The trem bend in the beginning, bars 41 and 43, but the out of key notes here really kind of throw it off. You should for the most part be sticking with G blues pentatonic, with a little G Phrygian thrown in. All the half step stuff between C, C# G, G# and D D# can provide plenty of tension without actually leaving the key.
Either way though, it's a very catchy song.

Thanks a lot, your crits always help me with my songwriting
Your idea for some variation helps, i think i'll add some feedback to give the song a raw, grunge-like feel alá Frances Farmer will have her revenge on seattle by Nirvana
As you said, I'll probably change that bridge.
And about my soloing, i think thats kinda like my signature thing; off key but with voiceing that keeps it in touch with the sound of the song, odd, but it works for me
the same thing happens with my singing, so in other words,
my style is perfectly fucked up.
#6
Reminds me a lot of Floyd the Barber. Pretty good.
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#7
Awesome Job!
The intro with the guitar instantly had me bobbing my head to the rythem.
I can tell that this has major influence from early Nirvana which I enjoy.
Overall its a 8/10
#8
it´s a good song, some simple for me, but nice.
I think you should adjust de leves of sound, all is very loud and the voice can´t be really apreciated.

And, maybe put some postsolo, because the song abuse of the same riff, again and again, I think that this is monotone, for this, i suggest a postsolo, a riff some different that the principal riff.

And, please crit my song...
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1174347