#1
C4C

Mama I've seen such a terrible scene
Hiding away in the depths of my dreams
Bluebirds are black and the cardinals cry
The flowers have crumbled and I don't know why

Mama I've heard such a terrible thing
Broadcasted over the colored t.v.
The devil and god made a pact
'Cause the leaders have stabbed them both in their backs

They're asking permission in the dark of the night
But everyones asleep and cozied up tight
So they rip down the buildings and burn down the streets
And the flames light our dreams and blanket us with heat

Mama they said it'd all be over soon
I heard it one night on the six o clock news
Mama can you tell me why they tell us all lies
Mama I thought you told me these were the good guys

Mama I've spoken such a terrible hex
So I'm washing my sins in the river of stix
So I can be cleansed of my terrible crimes
And Mama won't you hold me, Mama I'm scared
Mama what will happen, Mama can it be repaired

Mama I've seen such a terrible scene
Mama I know I've tried hard to stay clean
Mama, won't you tell me why the men don't play nice
Mama won't you tell them, Mama won't you tell them

Mama this world ain't no beautiful place
So why did you lie to my 9 year old face
And tell me that it would all end up fine
Why didn't you say that the congressmen lie
And that the only thing in this world thats puts us all to peace
Is when they shove you in the ground, made a memory
Last edited by lespaulsg09 at Dec 2, 2009,
#2
Dude,
how has no one replied to this?
This is awesome
I can haz sigg


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zink10192 wrote:

fail

#4
Dude i agree. this is the sex.

I was gonna ask you to crit mine but now it looks like poop.
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2x12 Cab
#5
cheers for the crit, it was really constructive, ill do some editing tonight,

thought id return the favour,
your lyrics are amazing. not only are they worded well, and very articulate, they also flow so well, i dont even know the rhythm but due to the sylables and natural rhythm of the words, it just flows. so impressed. i hope your playing this live,
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
#6
I just got a set a chords to play with it so I will in fact be playing it live soon. Thanks for all of the kind words.
#7
Quote by lespaulsg09
C4C

Mama I've seen such a terrible scene
Hiding away in the depths of my dreams
Bluebirds are black and the cardinals cry
The flowers have crumbled and I don't know why

Mama I've heard such a terrible thing
Broadcasted over the colored t.v.
The devil and god made a pact
'Cause the leaders have stabbed them both in their backs

They're asking permission in the dark of the night
But everyones asleep and cozied up tight
So they rip down the buildings and burn down the streets
And the flames light our dreams and blanket us with heat

Everyone's.

Mama they said it'd all be over soon
I heard it one night on the six o clock news
Mama can you tell me why they tell us all lies
Mama I thought you told me these were the good guys

Mama I've spoken such a terrible hex
So I'm washing my sins in the river of stix
So I can be cleansed of my terrible crimes
And Mama won't you hold me, Mama I'm scared
Mama what will happen, Mama can it be repaired

it's spelled Styx, and usually it would just be said "the river Styx" but if you need the of for flow I guess that's ok

Mama I've seen such a terrible scene
Mama I know I've tried hard to stay clean
Mama, won't you tell me why the men don't play nice
Mama won't you tell them, Mama won't you tell them

Mama this world ain't no beautiful place
So why did you lie to my 9 year old face
And tell me that it would all end up fine
Why didn't you say that the congressmen lie
And that the only thing in this world thats puts us all to peace
Is when we're shoved in the ground, when we're dead and deceased

I think you meant that, not thats.



I don't really like the "dead and deceased" portion of the last line. redundancy is annoying. Maybe think of a replacement for dead?
This is good; I'd love to here it live.
I want Super Saiyan abilities
#8
I've been trying to think of a replacement for the last line as I noticed the redundancy when I played it with music for the first time but thanks for the critique.