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#1
The other threads are old. It is time for a new one.

Say your favorite quotes from anything.

"Say 'fuzzy pickles!'" - The Earthbound Photographer

"Your asses just hung vacancy signs and my foot is looking for a place to stay" - Red Foreman

"Its a story called 'the Ugly Barnacle'. Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, that everyone died. The end." - Patrick Star

"Is mayonaise an instrument?" - Patrick Star

Patrick quotes are awesome.

Start posting. I want to see quotes
Quote by user_nameless
You can go ahead and sponge my bob.

/notfunnyatalljoke.


Quote by halo43
When you date a vegetarian, you're the only meat they'll ever eat.
#2
"Who is shaving on an airplane? And who is shaving so much that the are actually using up razorblades?"
#3
"It's Just A Ride." - Bill Hicks
ESP Eclipse Standard Series W/ PRS Santana II Pickups
PRS SE Soapbar II
Peavey 5150 120w Head
Avatar 412 Traditional Cab(v30's+G12H30's)
Malekko, Rocktron, T-Rex and MXR/Dunlop pedals
#6
Quote by EdtheHead
"100% of shots you don't take don't go in" -Wayne Gretzky

I think it actually goes "You miss %100 of the shots you don't take."
Same thing though.
#11
Quote by DaathMatal
''Use the searchbar''

Ultimate-guitar.com


0NINERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
#12
"nothin like a nice piece of hickory" - Clint Eastwood

"buzzards gotta eat, same as worms" -Clint Eastwood

"**** you i'm getting in the plane" George Carlin

and

"This my cricket. His name is..... SNOOP DOGG" - this guy --> http://www.dinowax.com/cartoons/fnf/crickettrick
RIP George Carlin (1937-2008)
Last edited by Head BANGER 81 at Jul 21, 2009,
#13
"All I can do is battle depression. I can’t beat it. I’ll never get rid of it."
[img]http://i.imgur.com/LYZyCdp.gif[/img]


Quote by CrossBack7
Momie's like not even a real person, just an asian, lesbian spirit.
#14
Some bitch serving a meal to Sir Winston Churchill

''If you were my husband i would poison the food''

''If YOU were my wife dear lady...i would eat it''
#15
That's absurd, I love it! - House
I has sigs

Quote by COBGage
If Dimebag can't take a few bullets to the head how's he gonna be able to take a full on Kamehameha?
#16
"Does he look like a B*TCH??"

I think we all know where that's from.
GTFO my sig
#17
Quote by Th6r6a6sH
"Does he look like a B*TCH??"

I think we all know where that's from.

What?
English mother ****er? Do you speak it?
#18
"These pretzels are making me thirsty!" - Seinfeld (Greatest show of all time)


You Deserve To Be Shot In The Head

-->
:alpaca: -->


PIRATE METAL
Last edited by J Vendetta at Jul 21, 2009,
#20
^+1 to the pretzels
Quote by OzarkMDaredevil
Shit, this is pure win. You can have my interwebz, I was saving them for a rainy day.

^about my halloween costume
Quote by steee21
a sport


Quote by hriday_hazarika
Oh, so it's sorta like real-life gaming, then?
Last edited by master2sexy at Jul 21, 2009,
#21
Dumb and Dumber

State Trooper: Pullover!
Harry: No, it's a cardigan but thanks for noticing.
Lloyd: Yeah, killer boots man!


Harry: Where's the booze?
Lloyd: I got robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart. I didn't even see it coming.
Harry: Oh, no, no.
Lloyd: Come on, Harry.
Harry: It gets worse. My parakeet, Petey.
Lloyd: Yeah?
Harry: He's dead.
Lloyd: Oh, man, I'm sorry. What happened?
Harry: His head fell off.
Lloyd: His head fell off?
Harry: Yeah. He was pretty old.


LOL.
Sail upon the open skies
#22
"What ain't no country I ever heard of, they speak english in what?"

Quote by skaterskagg1
What?
English mother ****er? Do you speak it?


Say what again.

Do it, I dare you,

I double dare you.
GTFO my sig
#23
Abbott: Well Costello, I’m going to New York with you. You know, Bucky Harris, the Yank’s manager gave me a job as coach for as long as you’re on the team.

Costello: Look Abbott, if you’re the coach, you must know all the players.

Abbott: Right, certainly do.

Costello: Well, I never met the guys, so you’ll have to tell me their names, and then I’ll know who’s playing on the team.

Abbott: Oh, I’ll tell you their names, but you know strange as it may seem, they give these ball players now a days, very peculiar names.

Costello: You mean funny names?

Abbott: Strange names, pet names. Like, Dizzy Dean, and…

Costello: His brother Daffy?

Abbott: Daffy Dean.

Costello: And their French cousin.

Abbott: French?

Costello: Goofe’.

Abbott: Goofe’ Dean, oh I see! Well let’s see, we have on the bags, we have Who’s on first, What’s on second, and I Don’t Know is on third.

Costello: That’s what I want to find out.

Abbott: I say, Who’s on first, What’s on second, and I Don’t Know’s on third.

Costello: Are you the manager?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: You going to be the coach too?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: And you don’t know the fellow’s names?

Abbott: Well I should.

Costello: Well then who is on first?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: I mean the fellow’s name.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy on first.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The first baseman.

Abbott: Who!

Costello: The guy playing first base.

Abbott: Who is on first.

Costello: I’m asking you who’s on first!

Abbott: That’s the man’s name.

Costello: That’s whose name?

Abbott: Yeah.

Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.

Abbott: That’s it.

Costello: That’s who?

Abbott: Yeah.

(Pause)

Costello: Look, you got a first baseman?

Abbott: Certainly.

Costello: Who’s playing first?

Abbott: That’s right.

Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?

Abbott: Every dollar of it.

Costello: All I’m trying to find out is the fellow’s name on first base.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy that gets the money.

Abbott: That’s it.

Costello: Who gets the money on first base?

Abbott: He does, every dollar! Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.

Costello: Whose wife?

Abbott: Yes. (Pause) What’s wrong with that?

Costello: Look, all I want to know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name to the contract?

Abbott: Who.

Costello: The guy.

Abbott: Who.

Costello: How does he sign it?

Abbott: That’s how he signs it!

Costello: Who?

Abbott: Yes.

(Pause)

Costello: All I’m trying to find out is what’s the guy’s name on first base.

Abbott: No, what’s on second base.

Costello: I’m not asking who’s on second.

Abbott: Who is on first!

Costello: One base at a time!

Abbott: Well don’t change the players around!

Costello: I’m not changing nobody!

Abbott: Take it easy, buddy.

Costello: All I’m asking you, who’s the guy on first base?!

Abbott: That’s right.

Costello: Okay.

Abbott: Alright.

(Pause)

Costello: What’s the guy’s name on first base?!

Abbott: No, What is on second!

Costello: I’m not asking you who’s on second!

Abbott: Who’s on first.

Costello: I don’t know.

Abbott: Oh, he’s on third. We’re not talking about him. Now let’s get back to first.

Costello: Now how did I get on third base?

Abbott: Well you mentioned his name.

Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman’s name, who did I say’s playing third?

Abbott: No, Who’s playing first.

Costello: What’s on first?

Abbott: What’s on second.

Costello: I don’t know.

Abbott: He’s on third.

Costello: There I go, back on third again! Will you stay on third base and don’t go off it?

Abbott: Alright, what do you want to know?

Costello: Now who’s playing third base?!

Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base?

Costello: What am I putting on third?!

Abbott: No, What is on second.

Costello: You don’t want who on second?!

Abbott: No, Who is on first.

Costello: I don’t know!

Both: Third base!

(Pause)

Costello: Look, you got outfield?

Abbott: Sure.

Costello: The left fielder’s name?

Abbott: Why.

Costello: I just thought I’d ask you.

Abbott: Well I just thought I’d tell you.

Costello: Then tell me who is playing left field.

Abbott: Who is playing first.

Costello: I’m not…Stay out of the infield! I want to know, what’s the guy’s name in left field?

Abbott: No, What is on second.

Costello: I’m not asking who’s on second.

Abbott: No, Who is on first.

Costello: I don’t know.

Both: Third base!

(Pause)

Costello: And left fielder’s name?

Abbott: Why!

Costello: Because.

Abbott: No, he’s center field.

Costello: (Fumbles words loudly)

Abbott: Well that’s the fellow’s name.

Costello: Look, look, look, you got a pitcher?

Abbott: Sure.

Costello: The pitcher’s name?

Abbott: Tomorrow.

Costello: You don’t want to tell me today?

Abbott: I’m telling you then.

Costello: Well go ahead.

Abbott: Tomorrow.

Costello: What time?

Abbott: What time what?

Costello: At what time tomorrow are you going to tell me who’s pitching?

Abbott: Now listen, Who is not pitching. Who is on…

Costello: I’ll break your arm you say who’s on first! I want to know, what’s the pitcher’s name?

Abbott: What’s on second!

Costello: I don’t know!

Both: Third base!

(Pause)

Costello: Got a catcher?

Abbott: Certainly.

Costello: The catcher’s name.

Abbott: Today.

Costello: Today? And tomorrow’s pitching?

Abbott: Now you’ve got it.

Costello: All we got is a couple of days on the team. You know, I’m a catcher too.

Abbott: So they tell me.

Costello: I get behind the plate, do some fancy catching. Tomorrow’s pitching on my team and a heavy hitter gets up.

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: Now, the heavy hitter bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me being a good catcher, I want to throw the guy out at first base. So I pick up the ball, and throw it to who?

Abbott: Now that’s the first thing that you’ve said right.

Costello: I don’t even know what I’m talking about!

Abbott: Well that’s all you have to do!

Costello: Is throw the ball to first base?

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: Now who’s got it?

Abbott: Naturally.

(Pause)

Costello: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody’s got to get it. Now who has it?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: Who?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: Naturally?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: So I pick up the ball and throw it to Naturally?

Abbott: No you don’t! You throw the ball to Who!

Costello: Naturally.

Abbott: That’s different.

Costello: That’s what I said.

Abbott: You’re not saying that.

Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally?

Abbott: You throw it to Who.

Costello: Naturally.

Abbott: That’s it.

Costello: That’s what I said!

Abbott: Listen, you ask me.

Costello: I throw the ball to who?

Abbott: Naturally.

Costello: Now you ask me.

Abbott: You throw the ball to Who?

Costello: Naturally.

Abbott: That’s it.

Costello: Same as you!

Abbott: You just changed them around.

Costello: Same as you! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball, the guy runs to second, who picks up the ball, throw’s it to what, what throw’s it to I don’t know, I don’t know throw’s it back to tomorrow, triple play!

Abbott: Yes.

Costello: Another guy gets up, and it’s a long fly ball to because. Why? I don’t know, he’s on third, and I don’t give a darn!

Abbott: Oh…What?

Costello: I said, I don’t give a darn!

Abbott: Oh, that’s our short stop.

Costello: (Fumbles words loudly)
tl:dr, epicness
Last edited by genghisgandhi at Jul 21, 2009,
#24
Quote by Th6r6a6sH

Say what again.

Do it, I dare you,

I double dare you.

Say what one more goddamn time!
#26
"Life's a garden, dig it"

Joe Dirt
E-Married to Eddie4President

ARMENIAN


Quote by VANGELIS!
Ya, my mom walked in on me taking a **** into my coffee mug when I was 23. There was a spider in the bathroom and I was too scared to go in


Quote by angusfan16
I'll join. I have a vagina.
#27
Quote by Th6r6a6sH
"Does he look like a B*TCH??"

I think we all know where that's from.


Samuel Jackson ftw
Attachments:
jackson.jpg
RIP George Carlin (1937-2008)
#28
Ezekiel 25:17

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."


dit: ^ so gooooood :P
enjoi yourself


Quote by Arrived+Dparted




Zeus's beard, I died of laughter
#29
Quote by spanish lovin
Ezekiel 25:17

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."


dit: ^ so gooooood :P

In the bible that isn't the actual verse. They added tons of stuff to it for the movie.
You learn something new everyday.
#32
Quote by skaterskagg1
In the bible that isn't the actual verse. They added tons of stuff to it for the movie.
You learn something new everyday.

Yep, only a dork like me would actually memorize that line.

And then check the bible for it.
GTFO my sig
#34
"The first rule of Fight Club. . ."
-------Gary Coy Smith---------

Epiphone G-400 1966 RI
Dean ML XM
EHX Big Muff
Epiphone Valve Jr
Guitar Rig 4
#35
"There's a sign on the door that says 'Lou's Taft'. I'm ****ing Lou. Who the **** are you?"
"Tyler Durden."
#36
"My rhymes are so potent that in this small segment, I've made all of the ladies in the area pegnant"
Quote by OzarkMDaredevil
Shit, this is pure win. You can have my interwebz, I was saving them for a rainy day.

^about my halloween costume
Quote by steee21
a sport


Quote by hriday_hazarika
Oh, so it's sorta like real-life gaming, then?
#37
Quote by buddyhimself
"The first rule of Fight Club. . ."

*Stab!*

...We don't talk about fight club....
GTFO my sig
#38
Quote by thorne400
0NINERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR


"quick, jump him"
YOU WILL REMEMBER THIS SIG

8/7/09 man, the pear broke loose.

Rule #1 - I'm the Boss
Rule #2 - The Boss is always right
Rule #3 - When the boss is wrong see rule #2
#39
"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn"

"Soylent Green is people!"
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