#1
Just a song about vampires, should have a recording of it to show within the next month those who wanna hear it. I just thought it was a cool name of a song to work around so here are the lyrics..

Verse 1
A burden lies within me, A craving for Crimson Blood
So ravenous I must devour this Mortal
An ambition is in me, To kill this blood thirsty being
I will rid this fake prodigy


Pre Chorus 1
Fangs that call for blood, Only blood it ever shall demand
Nothing of this seen before, It summons an Animosity
Immortality, This Creature seems


Chorus 1
Rip out your heart, show me your blood
Sever your lifeline
Give me your soul
Testify yourself
Because I know what you determine to do
Rip out your heart, show me your blood
Cut out your life source
Give me your soul
Testify yourself
I shall kill this Immortality


Verse 2
There’s a deceiver in me, It creates a blood conspiracy
I must conceive this my murdering a mortal
A revenge lies within me, It tells me to Kill this grim living
Because it’s evil Pestilence is infecting us


Pre Chorus 2
A spirit that’s immortal, Redefines the meaning to its life
I must extinguish him, it scars my mind to let him live
There is no choice, I must do or die! (Shouted)


**Chorus**

Verse 3
I can feel him inside me, I taste his blood I feel his pulse
Prepare to die because your neck calls for my fangs
I feel this vampiric being, Deceiving looks can also kill
I must now find a mortal


Pre Chorus 3
Prepare for war, between man with life and man with lifeline
Burning Desire, to rid the spirit, the flesh and bones
It’s time to fight! And now it’s time to die!


Chorus 3
Rip out your heart, show me your blood
Sever your lifeline
Give me your soul
Testify yourself
Because I know what you determine to do
Rip out your heart, show me your blood
Cut out your life source
Give me your soul
Testify yourself
Because I know what you determine to do
Throw out your life, give me your pain, I shall grant you pain and sorrow
As your soul dies, As I stay alive, You can’t kill immortality!


That's it, I wrote it at the end of last year, I'm new to the whole lyric writing thing, I'm only 15 so there's plenty of time for vocab development

Constructive critism

Thanks!
#2
I know it must be impossible to avoid in a song about vampires, but you use the word blood a wee bit too much i reckon

other than that its pretty cool, sounds like an old school thrash kinda song

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#3
Quote by Cous Cous =>
I know it must be impossible to avoid in a song about vampires, but you use the word blood a wee bit too much i reckon

other than that its pretty cool, sounds like an old school thrash kinda song

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Thanks man, on my more later lyrics I have took notice of word repitition and sorted that, but thanks for the constructive feedback