#1
This is my first try at actual song writing.
The way I wrote it was listening to the song "Walk With Me In Hell" by Lamb Of God, except with different lyrics to the proper song.

I've currently only come up with the prechorus, chorus and outro so far.


Pre-Chorus:
No, No mercy for you
No mercy for anyone
There are no more lies anymore

Chorus:
Why Would I lie to you
As the world screams with me
No Mercy For The Dead

Outro:
No Mercy For You
No Mercy For them
No Mercy For The Dead Screams the world

There was never a choice
For Any of us
We are all the dead


The song will be a similar style to Lamb Of God (Groove Metal), What I want to know, do you think this is an idea worth putting more work into (to make it a full song)?
Last edited by Reanitheory1 at Jul 24, 2009,
#3
"No Mercy For The Dead, Scream the world" the second part of this sentence didn't feel quite right, I don't think I would keep it like that.

I liked it though, would love to see more of it.
#4
Quote by Maggot66
I think it could turn out pretty awesome. =]

Just the name of it reminds me of "There's No Sympathy For the Dead" a whole lot.
But it's all goooood.


Quote by MindMatters
"No Mercy For The Dead, Scream the world" the second part of this sentence didn't feel quite right, I don't think I would keep it like that.

I liked it though, would love to see more of it.


Thanks, just noticed that bit about "Scream the world", it was meant to continue on the phrase (like the way I edited it).

Thanks guys, just hope I can think up more things the fit in with the chorus and the rest.
#5
very good, i like it. two thumbs up from this guy
Quote by venom0014
look on the bright side, at least your not black.
#6
Fantastic lyrics for a first attempt! I really enjoyed this piece, so I thought I'd give some critisicm on parts, hope it helps!

Quote by Reanitheory1


Pre-Chorus:
No, No mercy for you
No mercy for anyone
There are no more lies anymore

great buildup to the chorus line, great job

Chorus:
Why Would I lie to you
As the world screams with me
No Mercy For The Dead

would love to hear this in a LoG chorus, the last two lines are like a f*cking anthem! great success

Outro:
No Mercy For You
No Mercy For them
No Mercy For The Dead Screams the world

ill have to agree with the others. "screams the world" doesnt sound right here, if you replace it with something else that would sound awesome

There was never a choice
For Any of us
We are all the dead

genius finish here, loved the lyrics to pieces 10/10

The song will be a similar style to Lamb Of God (Groove Metal), What I want to know, do you think this is an idea worth putting more work into (to make it a full song)?


Dude, I think you'd be crazy to throw this away and not work on it. It's a masterpiece in the making! Great job!

If you would C4C, check out my LoG style lyrics here https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1169497

Would really appreciate it!