#1
I made a few major changes to it...specfically I edited what was the last verse and also made it into a chorus. Now I also have a question. Should each respective line in the verses have the same amount of syllables? And if so, is it ok to deviate +/- one syllable?

Verse:

Distant memories running through my mind

From another place; another time

Crimson stains as children cry

A life was lost and so was I


Chorus:

I’m called a hero for what I have done

I fought their battles but what was won

Now I pay the cost

Another hero lost


Verse:

In silent solitude I see his face

Haunting dreams won’t go away

Is there balance in what I’ve done

I took a life a life and saved no one


Chorus:

I’m called a hero for what I have done

I fought their battles but what was won

Now I pay the cost

Another hero lost


Verse:

Years have passed but these memories remain

I’ve tried drinking from the bottle

I fell to my knees and prayed

Tell me how can I repay


Chorus:

I’m called a hero for what I have done

I fought their battles but what was won

Now I pay the cost

Another hero lost
Last edited by 1/75RGR at Jul 26, 2009,
#3
its good. the last 2 verses are a bit out of meter but thats no big deal. i like how you display the mental conflict of heros. critic 4 critic? please if you have the time check out my song "NO yesterday" and keep up with the writing.
If i say im lying am i telling the truth?
Shawn Lane Rest In Peace!
Rip Dimbag
and sadly Rip Roger "Syd" Barrett gone but not forgotten
and more so recently Brad Delp
Quote by last_biscuit
A dyslexic man walks into a bra
#4
Quote by Echoplex
Based on Shadows Fall?


I borrowed the phrase from them, and I hoped someone would catch it. They speak about the soldiers that died, and I am talking about the conflicts I have had with what I've done in the war.