Page 1 of 4
#1
Example:

Lil Wayne - **** A Nigga Thoughts

Ok money on my mind
**** a nigga thought
He aint even think
He aint even see me with the pistol and the shank
Walked up to him put the pistol to his tank
Pussy nigga faint
Pick that pussy up
Naw let em lay
Where im from I see a fukin dead body everyday (X3)
Hammer in draws, hammer in draws
And yal aint nuttin but nails in the wall
Holsters, holsters empty like a mufuka
Off my hip clip empty like a mufuka
Hehe ok simply im a bug-lover

Into:

With the prospect of currency on my mind, I walked up to a fellow citizen
He was quite oblivious to his surroundings, as I approached him with a pistol and a crudely sharpened object
I walked towards him and placed the pistol against his forehead; he was overwhelmed and quickly fell unconscious
I considered helping him up, however, I quickly decided against it
After all, it was not uncommon to come across the remains of the deceased on a regular basis
I regularly carry construction tools in my pocket
I equate other people to the mere pointed rods of metal I use to hang decorative items on my wall
While I do carry a holster for my concealed weapons, they are quite commonly vacant
The magazines fastened to my side are dispensed of all rounds in a quite timely manner
(Chuckles) I have an uncanny fascination with arthropods

Your turn
We spent a lifetime on the
Beaches of Normandy in vain


Quote by poopsmith666
oooh look at me, i'm clincher, internet tough guy


Quote by theBaartMan
When Nostradamus predicted badassery, he spoke of clincher09.


<//////> ~


UG's NIN fan club
#2
Dude, this thread is complete win. That made me laugh the **** out of me. We need a death metal/black metal version too!
Check out Hear the Indie for music reviews, interviews, and more.

Want a review? Send me a PM or email through the contact form on my site.
#3
This is some good stuff! I might come back later to do one, but I just don't have the time right now.
#4
I like big butts and I cannot lie.


truthfully speaking, I find myself quite aroused upon the sight of a woman's ample gluteus maximus.
#6
Offensive word towards African Americans what?
Quote by NGD1313
Yes, my mom walked in on me getting my carrot skinned.

So I freaked out and flipped the vegetable tray.

There was ranch everywhere.


Quote by zwound
Win


Quote by __Pent__


^^Too bad I can't do this in real life
#7
Bleed down to the ****ing core
You’re going down for ****ing more
Screw your slimy guts
Driving me ****ing nuts!

Chainsaw in my bleeding hands
As I start to cut you in two
Your guts are steaming out
And I just love the sight!

Maggots crawling in her ****
I just love to lick that ****
Bury you in a slimy grave
You will rot forever there!
prog punk pwner
#8
MOVE B!TCH GET OUT THE WAY, GET OUT THE WAY, GET OUT THE WAY B!TCH GET OUT THE WAY!!!


Why madam could you do us rough boys a favor and excuse us, excuse us, excuse us because you are blocking our way to the goodie room.
#25 for top 100 UGer of 2009
UG's 2nd Funniest UGer and 3rd most likely to be a Serial Killer of 2009, 2nd of 2011
#11
Quote by Ulalume
Dude, this thread is complete win. That made me laugh the **** out of me. We need a death metal/black metal version too!


Death - Scream Bloody Gore:

Decapitated head licking your ****
Sucking all the blood from your stump
Intestinal guts taking their hold
Leaving you dead, stiff and cold


It is already gentlemanly.
Quote by kwidjibo1
oh really? i didnt know children of bodom were better than a band far more famous and popular than them, cheers for the update


Quote by Mr.Maccy
Your from the states. I end my case.
#12
Yes, I know my lyrics can be sexist but you lovely bitches and hos should know I'm trying to correct this.
Quote by Night
wtf is a selfie? is that like, touching yourself or something?
#13
I hope nobody beats me to this one

I'm bouncin' on my toe
Watch me super soak dat oh
I'ma pass it to Arab
And he's gon' crank it up fo' sho'

Haterz wanna be me
Soulja Boy, I'm the man
They be lookin' at my neck
Sayin' it's the Rubberband Man, man
Watch me do it, watch me do it
Dance, dance
Let get to it, let get to it


I am lightly dancing using the tip of my foot
Spectate as I drench that prostitute in water with my toy firearm
Now my friend will speak
and you will surely hear interesting and insightful things from his words

My enemies are jealous of my stature
Soldier Boy, I am important
They look at my neck
and they realize it's elasticity is unparalleled.
Watch as I perform the action you came to see
We will dance and dance
Now let us perform the main event
PM me for newts
Last edited by StewieSwan at Jul 25, 2009,
#15
Let us be entertained, this music is enjoyable
I would like to have sex with you.

I wanna kiss you
But if I do then I might embarrass myself, mate.
It's complicated and pointless
Got my hind tampered with by a flying baby in a diaper that is sexually attractive
I guess he wants to have, wants to have
Sex with me, sex with me

I write songs.
YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO THEM
Currently Requiring Crits:
none
#16
Quote by StewieSwan
I hope nobody beats me to this one


I am lightly dancing using the tip of my foot
Spectate as I drench that prostitute in water with my toy firearm
Now my friend will speak
and you will surely hear interesting and insightful things from his words

My enemies are jealous of my stature
Soldier Boy, I am important
They look at my neck
and they realize it's elasticity is unparalleled.
We will dance and dance
Now let us perform the main event


Excellent.
We spent a lifetime on the
Beaches of Normandy in vain


Quote by poopsmith666
oooh look at me, i'm clincher, internet tough guy


Quote by theBaartMan
When Nostradamus predicted badassery, he spoke of clincher09.


<//////> ~


UG's NIN fan club
#17
We could make this a game.

Woke up quick at about noon
just thought that I had to be in compton soon
I gotta get drunk before the day begins
before my motha starts bitching, about my friends.

Translates

I had risen from my nights sleep, around twelve A.M.
Making my swift arrival to the city of Compton.
I must be intoxicated before the sun fully rises
Considering the fact my mother may be mildly upset over the companions I had over.

Eazy-E - Boyz in the hood.
BRIGHT LIGHTS PUT ME IN A TRANCE.
but it aint house music that makes me want to dance.
#18
Quote by Wiegenlied
Yes, I know my lyrics can be sexist but you lovely bitches and hos should know I'm trying to correct this.


...it's Business time.

I write songs.
YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO THEM
Currently Requiring Crits:
none
#19
**** tha police
Comin straight from the underground
Young nigga got it bad cuz I'm brown
And not the other color so police think
They have the authority to kill a minority

fornicate with the authoritative figures
emitting myself from beneath the ground
a youthful african american is troubled because im black
and not white so the authorities believe
they have the discretion to euthanize a person of color or other ethnicity.
Quote by illuminatiano
do not go on guitar forums

there are drugs there

( and ololol there are )
#20
Dead Prez - "They" Schools

They schools cant teach us ****
My people need freedom, we tryin to get all we can get
All my high school teachers can suck my dick
Tellin me white man lies straight bull****
They schools ain't teachin us, what we need to know to survive
They schools don't educate, all they teach the people is lies

Translated:
Caucasian schooling facilities cannot provide us with adequate education
It is a necessity that African-Americans have liberty, and we are putting in a considerable amount of effort to do so
All of my secondary school professors can perform fellatio on me
They tell me Caucasian-based lies that are balderdash
These education centers are not teaching us and the necessities that we need to live continuously
These education centers do not educate, all they do is pass lies and gossip on to the next generation
1. Open My Computer.
2. Open C:
3. Click on WINDOWS.
4. Open the folder "Media."
5. Click on the file "onestop."
6. Listen.
#24
**** tha police comin straight from the underground
Young nigga got it bad cuz I'm brown
And not the other color so police think
They have the authority to kill a minority

I hold no respect for the Compton Police Department
A youthful negro has come upon hard times due to the colour of my skin
Although there is quite a broad spectrum of colours I shall limit it to two to simplify the aggressive nature of the lawkeepers who think that because I am not in a position of power due to the minority I am in, they can kill one of my kind for no apparent reason
Quote by duncang
maybe it's because i secrely agree that tracedin inymballsackistheb best album ever


he's got the fire and the fury,
at his command
well you don't have to worry,
if you hold onto jesus' hand
#25
Quote by Sopheydood
Death - Scream Bloody Gore:

Decapitated head licking your ****
Sucking all the blood from your stump
Intestinal guts taking their hold
Leaving you dead, stiff and cold


It is already gentlemanly.


prog punk pwner
#26
I have one friend who does this all the time. He calls Soulja Boy "Infantry Youth" and Larry the Cable Guy "Lawrence the Television Gentleman".
Listen to mah discs.



And coming soon, THE CLEVER DEVILS VS. THE BLONDES.

Vote for me in the
#27
Quote by VoodooChild15
I have one friend who does this all the time. He calls Soulja Boy "Infantry Youth" and Larry the Cable Guy "Lawrence the Television Gentleman".


Lawrence the Cable Service Provider Maintenance Worker.
We spent a lifetime on the
Beaches of Normandy in vain


Quote by poopsmith666
oooh look at me, i'm clincher, internet tough guy


Quote by theBaartMan
When Nostradamus predicted badassery, he spoke of clincher09.


<//////> ~


UG's NIN fan club
#28
back in a sec
Quote by WtrPlyr
Quote by alans056
Maybe the price tag is clouding your judgment ?
yeah probably. Or the circuits.
#30
Depart, Depart, Depart, vertically challenged individual
I believe that today is the day of your anniversary
Allow us to celebrate the occasion in a manner that suggests that this is in fact the case
We shall wet our whistles with Bacardi rum, as we would on your anniversary
And I understand that you are aware that the gentlemen and myself are not concerned by the fact that your anniversary is in actual fact not today

(50 Cent - In Da Club)
#31
There's only one place where we can go
To see freaky hoes doin' shows
Doin' tricks to make us holler
On a giving night, all for a dollar
Silicone breasts, all on their chests
Nothin' like others, but above the rest
They'll do anything to turn us on
Them hoes got it goin' on!!


There is a single place that we can go
crazy women putting on show
we cheer when they entertain us
go every night, just bring a dollar
silicon breast, on their chests
they are not like the others, but better then the rest
they shall work very hard to get us delighted
them hoes got it goin' on!
http://swagbucks.com/refer/Constatine
"If you want to understand skaters,you have to skate.Skateparks are an urban art form, like a concrete wave,Unless you understand what it's like to carve that wave,you shouldn't put pen to paper."
#32
The lineage of Wu-Tang wish to make it clear that they are not ones to have their business interfered with!
The lineage of Wu-Tang wish to make it clear that they are not ones to have their business interfered with!
The lineage of Wu-Tang wish to make it clear that they are not ones to have their business interfered with!
#33
I said my niggas don't dance
We just pull up our pants
And do the roc-a-way
Now lean back, lean back, lean back, lean back

I must mention, my self and my fellows do not dance
We merely pull on our briches
and gently sway astern
Now emulate our atcions and sway astern, sway astern, etc.
no sig for joo
#36
I ain't got no mother****ing friends
That's why I ****ed your bitch
You're fat mother****er {Take Money}
West Side
Bad Boy Killers {Take Money}
You know who the realist is
niggas we bring it to {Take Money}
(ha ha, that's alright)

First off, **** your bitch
And the click you claim
West side when we ride
Come equipped with game
You claim to be a player
But I ****ed your wife
We bust on Bad Boys
niggas **** for Life
Plus Puffy tryin' to see me weak
Hearts I rip
Biggie Smalls and Junior Mafia
Some mark ass bitches
We keep on coming
While we running for your jewels
Steady gunning
Keep on busting at them fools
You know the rules
Little Ceasar go ask you homie
How I'll leave you
Cut your young ass up
See you in pieces
Now be deceased
Little Kim,
Don't **** around with real G's
Quick to snatch your ugly ass, off the streets
So **** peace
I'll let them niggas know
It's on for Life
Don't let the west side
Ride the night (ha ha)
Bad Boys murdered on Wax and kill
**** with me
And get your caps peeled
You know, see

[Chorus:]
Grab your glocks when you see 2pac
Call the cops when you see 2pac, uh
Who shot me,
But your punks didn't finish
Now you 'bout to feel the wrath of a menace
nigga, I hit 'em up

Check this out
You mother****ers know what time it is
I don't know why I'm even on this track
You all niggas ain't even on my level
I'm going to let my little homies
Ride on you
bitch made ass Bad Boys bitches
{ah yo, yo, hold the **** up}

Get out the way yo
Get out the way yo
Biggie Smalls just got dropped
Little move pass the mac
And let me hit 'em in his back
Frank White needs to get spanked right
For setting up traps
Little accident murderers
And I ain't never heard of you
Poise less gats attack when I'm serving you
Spank the shank
Your whole style when I gank
Guard your rank
'cause I'm a slam your ass in a pang
Puffy weaker than a ****in' block
I'm running through nigga
And I'm smoking Junior Mafia
In front of you nigga
With the ready power
Tucked in my Guess
Under my Eddie Bauer
Your clout petty sour
I push packages ever hour
I hit 'em up

[Chorus]

Peep how we do it
Keep it real
Its penitentiary steel
This ain't no freestyle battle
All you niggas getting killed
With your mouths open
Tryin' to come up off of me
You and the clouds hoping
Smoking dope
It's like a Shermine
niggas think they learned to fly
But they burn mother****er you deserve to die
Talking about you Getting Money
But it's funny to me
All you niggas living bummy
While you ****ing with me?
I'm a self made Millionaire
Thug livin', out of prison
Pistols in the Air {Air} (Ha Ha)
Biggie remember when I use to let you sleep on the couch
And beg the bitch to let you sleep in the house
Now it's all about Versace
You copied my style
Five shots couldn't drop me
I took it and smiled
Now I'm back to set the record straight
With my A-K
I'm still the thug that you love to hate
Mother-****er I'll Hit 'Em Up

I'm from N E W Jers.
Where plenty of murder occurs
No points to come
We bring drama to all you herds
Now go check the scenario
Little Ceas'
I'll bring you fake G's to your knees
Copin' pleas with these
Little Kim is you
Coked up or doped up
Get your little Junior Whopper click smoked up
What the ****?
Is you stupid?
I take money,
crash and mash through Brooklyn
With my click looting, shooting, and polluting your block
With fifteen shot,
Cocked glock to your knot
Outlaw Mafia click moving up another notch
And your Pop stars popped and get dropped and mopped
And all your fake ass east coast props
Brainstormed and locked

You're a beat biter
Pac style taker
I'll tell you to face, you ain't nothing **** but a faker
So fill the Alize with a chaser
'bout to get murdered for the paper
E.d.i I mean post the scene of the caper
Like a loc, with little Ceas' in a choke (uh)
Toting smoke, we ain't no mother****in' joke
Thug Life, niggas better be known
Be approaching
In the wide open, gun smoking
No need for hoping
It's a battle lost
I gottem crossed as soon as the funk is bopping off
nigga, I hit 'em up

Now you tell me who won
I see them, they run (ha ha)
They don't wanna see us
Whole Junior Mafia click
Dressing up to be us
How the **** they gonna be the Mob?
When we always on out job
We millionaire's
Killing ain't fair
But somebody got to do it

Oh yah Mobb Deep (uh)
You wanna **** with us
You Little young ass mother****ers
Don't one of you niggas got sickle-cell or something
You're ****ing with me, nigga?
You **** around and catch a seizure or a heart-attack
You better back the **** up
Before you get smacked the **** up
This is how we do it on our side
Any of you niggas from New York that want to bring it,
Bring it.
But we ain't singing,
We bringing drama
**** you and your mother ****ing mama.
We're gonna kill all you mother ****ers.
Now when I came out, I told you it was just about biggie.
Then everybody had to open their mouth with a mother ****ing opinion
Well this is how we gonna' do this:
**** Mobb Deep,
**** Biggie,
**** Bad Boy as a staff, record label, and as a mother ****ing crew.
And if you want to be down with Bad Boy,
Then **** you too.
Chino XL, **** you too.
All you mother ****ers,
**** you too.
(take money, take money)
All of y'all mother ****ers,
**** you, die slow mother****er.
My four four (.44 magnum) make sure all your kids don't grow.
You mother****ers can't be us or see us.
We mother ****in' Thug Life riders.
West Side till' we die.
Out here in California, nigga
We warned ya'
We'll bomb on you mother ****ers.
We do our job.
You think you the mob, nigga, we the mother****in' mob
Ain't nothing but killers
And the real niggas, all you mother****ers feel us.
Our **** goes triple and four quadruple
You niggas laugh 'cause our staff got guns under they mother****in' belts
You know how it is and we drop records they felt
You niggas can't feel it
We the realist
**** 'em.
We Bad Boy killers.


I dare anyone to translate this. Will post my own in a minute.

Oh, and toasting an epic bread.

EDIT: first verse

I don't have any companions that have sexual intercourse with their respective mothers.
That's why I myself had sexual intercourse with your mistress.
You're obesed, and have sexual intercourse with your mother. {Confiscate Money}
West side.
We commit murder on the so called 'Bad Boy' crew. {Confiscate Money}
You know which one of us practices realism and pragmatism.
African Americans we try to sell our wares. {Confiscate Money}
(Ha ha ha, that's fine by me)

First off, have sexual intercourse with your mistress,
And the group of friends you say to have.
West side. When the friends I have within my extended rap formation drive our respective vehicles
We have an air of skill around us.
You claim to have had sexual intercourse with many women,
But I myself had sexual intercourse with your spouse.
We shoot our firearms at your so called 'Bad Boy' crew
African Americans, sexual intercourse for the remainder of our lifetimes
As well as Puffy trying to see me in a less stable situation
I tear out people's vital organs.
Biggie Smalls and Junior Mafia
Some women that are relatively easy to talk into having sexual intercouse.
We continue arriving
While we're trying to steal your jewelry
Shooting our firearms in a stable frequency
Keep on shooting at the mentally challenged
You know which rules to oblige
Little Cesar, could you please go ask your companion
In what state you'll be after my depart from this place
Inflict severe knife damage on your behind
You might even have fallen apart the next time we meet
Now, could you please be deceased.
Little Kim
Don't have sexual intercourse with proper criminals
Who are rapidly taking action to get your, in my opinion unattractive, behind into a place safer
So please have sexual intercourse with peace
I'll inform the African Americans
There shall be an uneasy atmosphere between our respective parties for the remainder of our lifetimes
Do not let my West Side crew
Be the dominant force in the hours after sunset. (ha ha)
Bad Boys murdered, slain and assassinated
Have sexual intercourse with me
And have me shoot bullets in your body through my firearm
You're well informed. Behold.
Thomas hopes to not have offended anyone with this post. No responsibility whatsoever is taken for any spelling or grammar mistakes, should there be any.

last.fm
Last edited by Samothomas at Jul 25, 2009,
#37
Quote by matttehbassist
I said my niggas don't dance
We just pull up our pants
And do the roc-a-way
Now lean back, lean back, lean back, lean back

I must mention, my self and my fellows do not dance
We merely pull on our briches
and gently sway astern
Now emulate our atcions and sway astern, sway astern, etc.

#38
Boasting an epic dead.
Quote by MoogleRancha

You sir, are a genius.

I salute you.

Quote by iwontwait
The bestowing of this thread on my life is yours. Thank you, Benjabenja.
#39
The authoritative figures observe as I drive my automobile
They exhibit severe dislike for the decisions I have made; they constantly patrol, and attempt to catch yours truly delving in actions contrary to those set forth by the law
Attempting to catch yours truly delving in actions contrary to those set forth by the law
Attempting to catch yours truly delving in actions contrary to those set forth by the law
Attempting to catch yours truly delving in actions contrary to those set forth by the law
Attempting to catch yours truly delving in actions contrary to those set forth by the law
My music's volume is quite obtrusive, which allows me to encompass myself in it
The authoritative figures are still amidst their endeavors to catch me delving in actions contrary to those set forth by the law
Attempting to catch yours truly delving in actions contrary to those set forth by the law
Attempting to catch yours truly delving in actions contrary to those set forth by the law
Attempting to catch yours truly delving in actions contrary to those set forth by the law
Attempting to catch yours truly delving in actions contrary to those set forth by the law
Quote by Chrisiphone
Oh wow this is a guitar forum!
Quote by JacobTheMe

Karvid is sexy

Quote by KAS1981
Why is it that some folks quote praise from other members in their sig lines?
Its lame.
#40
(shorty)Aww ****, get your towels ready it's about to go down (shorty, yeah)
Everybody in the place hit the f**king deck (shorty, yeah)
But stay on your motherf**king toes
We running this, let's go

I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)
I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)
Everybody look at me 'cause I'm sailing on a boat (sailing on a boat)
I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)
I'm on a boat
Take a good hard look at the motherf**king boat (boat, yeah)

I'm on a boat motherf**ker take a look at me
Straight flowing on a boat on the deep blue sea
Busting five knots, wind whipping at my coat
You can't stop me motherf**ker cause I'm on a boat

Take a picture, trick (trick)
I'm on a boat, bitch (bitch)
We drinking Santana champ,
Cause it's so crisp (crisp)
I got my swim trunks
And my flippie-floppies
I'm flipping burgers, you and Kinko's
Straight flipping copies

I'm riding on a dolphin, doing flips and ****
The dolphin's splashing, getting everybody all wet
But this ain't Seaworld, this is real as it gets
I'm on a boat, motherf**ker, don't you ever forget


Please prepare your towels, for we are about to depart.
Gentlemen, please relocate yourselves to the vehicle,
but stay alert for our voyage.
For we are in control of the ship, let us begin.

I am contemptuously on a boat
Direct your attention to me, because I am drifting on the water while riding on the top deck of this yacht
Observe and record your views of the boat that has sexual intercourse with your mother

Please focus on me while I cruise on this vessel
We are navigating forward over the darkened aquamarine ocean
The wind is rustling through my sheath due to the traveling speed of five knots
You are unable to cease my expedition as a result of myself standing on the water traveling automobile

Photograph the accumilation,
My body is resting on a ship, (you appear as a frail mistress)
We are consuming beverages, considering that we are invigorated by it
My lower body is dressed in trousers designed for use in H20
I have shoes designed for comfort and use without leggings
I am preparing a dish of hamburgers, while you remain at Kinko's copying documents through a device that reproduces text onto paper using ink

I am now riding on the back of a sea creature labeled as a dolphin, while performing various stunts
The narwal is projecting water towards our gathering
This is not the theme park "Sea World," for this experience is genuine and authentic
I am placed on a boat, therefore you should always recall that fact.
Quote by user_nameless
You can go ahead and sponge my bob.

/notfunnyatalljoke.


Quote by halo43
When you date a vegetarian, you're the only meat they'll ever eat.
Last edited by tmfiore at Jul 25, 2009,
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