#1
The couch was covered in dog hair
The beer was warmer than summer air
The music sucked
We couldn’t get drunk
But we still fell in love there

Later that night when I got home
I decided to throw the dog a bone
He just looked at me
And I started to see
That with you I would never be alone

It’s not your smile; it’s not your ass,
It’s not your lips or the way that you dance
It’s not your hopes; it’s not your fears
But girl you are what brought me here

The next day, you called right away
Said, “I’m sorry for yesterday”
I said through the phone
Don’t bitch and moan
We kept all our demons at bay

It’s not your smile; it’s not your ass,
It’s not your lips or the way that you dance
It’s not your hopes; it’s not your fears
But girl you are what brought me here

Thanks for any crits guys!
#3
The second to last stanza has some forced rhyming, but otherwise this is great. I'd love to hear how it sounds with music to back it up.

no.
#4
this sounds like a nursery rhyme... cept for what appears to be a chorus....
Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality . Wake Up and Live!