#2
BAD:
the song has a really painful chord wich is that weird G
Flute is painful, change it to something else
the super presence of the low tom is painful
There are some (not a lot) notes in the lead that are painful

GOOD:
Awsome build up
Awsome boom
The punky part is generic but the chords had chemistry, which is important
Lead was good

C4C check out the one in my sig
#3
Just had a listen myself and for a first song it's not that bad, however:

Some chords certainly need looking at (like the G said above).
Take out or reduce the use of the mid tom on the drums as it seems too harsh, you could keep it but make a less brutal, boring rhythm . The same applies for the hi-hat (and add a snare!).
I toyed around with the flute(s) and to be honest it sounds so much better as a hammond organ - which would also help add to that pop-punky feel you seem to have going.

Clean up the chords, make sure your lead stays in key (perhaps a few notes out of key, I could be wrong) and make sure you change those drums but it wasn't a bad start .