#1
Verse

Lying here beside you watching you sleep
thinking how much your love means to me
I've searched for the answers unknown by man
feelings from the heart I'll never understand

Prechorus

You took me from the pain I have lived
and gave me the strength I have within

Chorus

You came to me in a dream
like a Heavenly breeze
so gently and tenderly
no more clouds in the sky
nor storms in my life
baby you will see all the love that lives in me
heavenly dreams

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#2
My one gripe about this piece is that I have heard a lot of this stuff before. Nothing what you wrote is necessarily original in my opinion so it's hard for me to relate to it. For me anyway, I'm able to feel a piece if it expresses a sentiment using imagery, similes, metaphors, etc. that I've never heard before. When something sounds new, I think about it more which allows it to really settle into my brain and impact me that much more.

I think if you sit down and reflect on how much this person means to you and ruminate on that, you'll start to conjure up some interesting, unique, and original images in your mind. That way, you can harness them and put them into writing.

Keep in mind, that this is only my opinion.
here, My Dear, here it is
#3
Quote by chakobaby
Verse

Lying here beside you watching you sleep
thinking how much your love means to me
I've searched for the answers unknown by man
feelings from the heart I'll never understand

Prechorus

You took me from the pain I have lived
and gave me the strength I have within
if you already had said strength within yourself, how did this person give it to you. perhaps they 'unlocked' it? i dunno. id pick a different verb

Chorus

You came to me in a dream
like a Heavenly breeze
so gently and tenderly
no more clouds in the sky
you rhymed everywhere but here. it was off-putting. i expected AABA, but i got AABC, because tenderly & sky arent even a slant rhyme.
nor storms in my life
baby you will see
im going to assume you meant for there to be a line break here
all the love that lives in me
heavenly dreams


okay, lets start- first, this is a VERY confining structure, with a lot of force rhyme and choppy metre. second- im in agreement with venus, the subject matter is not original. granted, this is one of those universal things (more or less). everybody falls in love at some point. the KEY is to express that love in words in a way that other people havent, and in a way thats UNIQUE to the way you and only you are feeling. each romance has its nuances. play on those. Lastly- you set this up clearly to fit into a song. what song has only one verse?
this is not a bad first effort, but it needs to be expanded and edited. dont be afraid to write EXACTLY WHAT YOURE THINKING. poems, and even lyrics, dont always need such a strict structure

if youd like to c4c, my most recent is in my sig as 'Soapbox'
cheers
~b