been kinda busy with other engagements, but here's a nice little private song of mine I wanted to share. If I get my lazy ass going and compose a few more songs in that style, I'll record them professionally in bulk for an EP or something (got a demo done so far, but my singing is too atrocious to subject anyone to it).

Concerning style, I'd say it pretty much comes in the way of the 'Peaceville 3' bands, you know, Paradise Lost, My Dying Bride, Anathema. Along with one of my favorite bands, Katatonia (mid-period, and by extension October Tide, of course). Not that I assume it matches their greatness, but I think the elements of the style are in place, enough to be recognizable.

The first verses and the chorus are to be done in clean vocals. Imagine Aaron Stainthorpe crooning along, if you wish. The vocal line itself is just a provisorial outline, of course. And because there's no real good way to mimic growled vocals in GP, the last verse is empty - I know it's a drag, but hey, what can you do.. close your eyes and pretend Mikael Äkerfeldt is doing guest vocals here.

I reckon that genres like Doom (or black, or drone, etc.) suffer extensively from the "midi-effect" in this setup, that is, an idea that would sound good in "real" loses a lot of its appeal in the mechanical cold and blankness of midi sound. I mean, it doesn't quite drag as if I did a funeral doom song, but I can see where some passages might be yawn-inducing to the more ADD-minded listeners. If you are familiar with some of the longer songs of Katatonia or MDB, you might recognize what I was aiming for and can feel that it'll be much more hypnotic and engaging in a real recording.
Some provisional lyrics are also provided in the song info for anyone interested, though I am neither a poet nor a native speaker, so beware.

Anyways, the song is finished and I don't think I'll go back and change anything significantly. I'm overall rather happy with it (confident enough to share), I know what sounds good and I know what didn't quite work. I'd like to hear your comments on this and hope you enjoy it. May give me some motivation to carry on with composing and recording in that direction.

Thanks for listening!
Wings of the Serpent - Of Grief.zip
Holy ****. This rules.

The into is great, though on perhaps one of the two times the melody is played my ear wanted that E (following the F) to drop to a D for a darker sound. Just through one time through, perhaps?
Intro two is great, well thought out, and heavy yet melodic. The Verse is an excellent free canvas for vocals.
My first problem arises with the pre-chorus. The melody seems... Lame for lack of a better term.
Chorus is great, and will be even better with corresponding vocals, surely.
The Break separates the segments of this song flawlessly and stays true to its overall feel.
Interlude is a nice brutal break-away as well.
Outro needs some more thought, as far as instrument re-entry goes. The solo instrument concept goes on for about three measures too long.
All in all, bloody brilliant. 9/10.

Hi, thanks for the comments!

indeed, that's what I was aiming for. Glad you approve

my ear wanted that E (following the F) to drop to a D for a darker sound.
Could you possibly demonstrate ? Either I'm way off or if you mean track Lead1, bar 31-32, it doesn't quite sound that good if I lower the E to a D there.

My first problem arises with the pre-chorus. The melody seems... Lame for lack of a better term.
I'm rather happy with the melody, personally, but diff'rent strokes and all that, I suppose. It does its job nicely to increase the drive a bit into the next segments, and yes, it's not sooo melodically strong (that may be your beef with it) that it'd steal the spotlight from the later chorus, where the real hooks come in.

Outro needs some more thought, as far as instrument re-entry goes. The solo instrument concept goes on for about three measures too long.

I can feel where you're coming from, I think. There's not "much" happening here in the midi. Melody gets stated, second guitar harmonizes to some slightly dirge-y, eerie effect, then -bam- full band rhythm comes in to drudge out the sludge to full effect. Some drum variations, and fade into rain (yes, that's what that is supposed to be, cliche I know ). If you know some of the great midperiod Katatonia (Brave Murder Day / Sounds of Decay) you see what I was paying homage to, they use that kind of arrangement pattern often, to superb effect. This was my lowly approximation of it, and it makes for a nice outro, especially with the lead guitars being heavily drenched in delay and mournful reverb. Break/Verse3 is also an often-seen Katatonia "technique", and the Intro2 wouldn't be out of place on a October Tide album (..if they'd ever get around making new ones )

Again, thanks for the comments, appreciate it. Here's hoping for some more !
Clean intro is beautiful in all its simplicity, I really appreciate it when people know how to write something good without going over the top...
Distorted intro is also very good.
Verse riff is ****ing heavy.
Pre-Chorus is epic.
Chorus is über-epic.
Break is good, moody but not mind-blowing. I like the power chord progression underneath the main arpeggio.
Verse 3 is probably my least favorite bit so far, but that's because I'm not a fan of straight 8ths power chord riffs. Of course it needs some deep badass growls to spice it up.
Interlude = DOOOOOOOOOM... Really nice when all the harmonies kicks in, this is really good. Segues perfectly with the chorus.
Outro = DOOOOOOOOOM... and yeah, that's pretty much it, pretty evil riff.

All in all, brilliant work! I can clearly see all the effort you've put into this one, 9/10
Right from the beginning of this piece, I was reminded of Katatonia, or even certain Amorphis works - the melodies, the atmosphere, the structure, all exceptionally executed.
So I guess you've fulfilled your goal in that department!

This piece is just composed brilliantly - each section lasts the right amount of time and flows into to the next so elegantly. I really do love how the song grows in intensity, and even complexity as it goes along - maybe not so much in terms of physical requirements, but the dubbing of harmonies and rhythms, the more musical side of the piece.
The Intro's melodies give a great atmosphere for the rest of the piece, and the verse riff - very groovy. I like that the pre-chorus has a similar sound, but acts as an expansion with the additional melodies and harmonies.

The chorus - wonderful. I love that the vocal melody is so simplistic - it's as if, like so many people try to do, you didn't try to force a dominant vocal line, but rather it adds as a texture to the piece.

The break - awesome! The shift in pulse kept me interested, and the ringing Am chords worked brilliantly. I like that the third verse has a variation to it, compared to the rest. And it's clear that growled vocals would work exceptionally well over this - and yes, so far, I have no complaints at all!

The interlude is super doomy - sounds a bit like Opeth to me (it's really the closest comparison I can draw, I don't listen to all too much doom!) Very nice shift to harmonic minor =] And the additional melodies just weave in perfectly - and then into the last chorus. It sort of acts like a breath of fresh, melodic air after the chaos of the doom-y interlude.

The outro caught me off guard - not that it's a bad thing. The transition reminds me of the end of A Fair Judgment - you could swear it's about to end, but then there's another friggin' section! But, regardless, the sinister sound of it is great, and is probably the most appropriate way to end such a piece - and the fade out only accentuates that idea.

Probably not much of a crit, so much as me pointing out what you did But if you wouldn't mind critting back, here's the link to mine. Some quirky progressive/math

If you'd like me to clear up anything I said, feel free to ask, I tend to blab on
I'd crit but I'm not very up to date with doom and that song structure going far beyond my writing ability. What I will say is, it's nice to see a different tuning and I enjoyed the song!
I love it =D Well done, the effort you've put into this... It has paid off, in my opinion hehe. Nice one.
"Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man"