#1
Probably the darkest piece I have ever written. I really wanted to convey a feeling of death in this song, so first and foremost make sure to tell me if you felt a touch of death in this song. I tried to make it intricate, but maintain a simplistic approach to the melodies. I think I did a good job on this song, but feedback is always nice to have. So, let me know what you think.

And be sure to give me links to crit you back. I always do ASAP.
Attachments:
Emperor Kobayashi's Tomb.zip
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Last edited by StewieSwan at Jul 28, 2009,
#2
I simply love this. All the sections blend in together very well, as do the instruments as they harmonize with each other. I just didn't like that it had to fade out, but that's probably just because I don't like any song that fades out, really. I enjoyed hearing it.

Crit mine?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1170689
#3
Updated. Added a pizzicato strings part and I changed some of the chord voicings in the viola part.
Check out my band Disturbed
Last edited by StewieSwan at Jul 28, 2009,
#4
This sounds pretty much like a soundtrack to me.
Very .. detailed composition, instruments work well together, and the sound creates
a pretty creepy and sad atmosphere.
I'd say you acheived your aim. =)
#5
It is good to see that you understand good uses of the native instruments of Japan.

This is very effectively executed and gave exactly the atmosphere you were looking for. The repeated low end cello "chugs" feel as though a funeral march is occurring, exactly the purpose of most dirge.

Sadly, the only suggestions I could possibly make are here:
Consider musical movement, as there isn't much within this piece. a climax would have been amazing.
The taiko drum needs more complexity, yet in a simple sense (sorry, haha). One key aspect of the taiko tuned drums are the rolls that always accompany them.

It is very refreshing to hear such a style of music elsewhere than in my own home. Though there would be none of such a type, feel free to look in my profile to hear some instrumental compositions for ideas as far as your strings go.

C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1169110
#6
At first it sounded really tragic, but not necessarily "death" tragic. It doesn't give a feeling of death until bar 20, when the cello starts playing the "chugs," as Explorer puts it. It's still good before that though, nothing wrong with it.

Bar 34 had to be my favorite part. I was expecting the song to start droning and getting repetitive, but the F played by the pan flute changed things up a bit.

I THINK I disagree about what Explorer said about the climax. I don't think a dirge would really need one, you know? But that's just my opinion... And I can't see a song like this working without a fade-out ending, so I think it's fine.
#7
Bloody amazing, I felt like I was walking in a foggy cemetery, all the instruments added a new layer of emotion to the song, and i loved that.
The song is very short though, you could listen to ExplorerFreak and add other parts that convey different climaxes in the song, that would make it more interesting.
9/10 amazing work, good job.
#8
this was good. it sounds like itd be a soundtrack to a movie/video game. it is quite short though. i can see it panning over like a death scene in a video game where something tragic happens.

i def. see death from the beginning till the end, very dark. but not too dark to where it just sounds evil and not very melodic. this is quite melodic and nice.

gj you should try getting into the business of writing music for videogames or movies you seem like you know how to convey emotions in ur music really well.

i posted a finished version of my song that you critted before, and i was hoping you could tell me if the extra parts are good. link is https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1171543
Last edited by rkay at Jul 29, 2009,
#10
I'm enjoying the eerie feel the intro is giving so far, I do agree with an earlier poster that the taiko drums could use a few rolls to vary things up. All the instrumentals went together perfectly, I just think the entire thing could use a bit of variety. It just kinda goes; nothing too exciting about any part. I did enjoy the violin solo at the beginning though, after that it just kinda drags on though. For some reason I really think it'd be perfect for a level in Castlevania or a zone in a Final Fantasy game so you could have a future as a video game music writer haha =P

Crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1173216
#11
Quote by Morve38
I'm enjoying the eerie feel the intro is giving so far, I do agree with an earlier poster that the taiko drums could use a few rolls to vary things up. All the instrumentals went together perfectly, I just think the entire thing could use a bit of variety. It just kinda goes; nothing too exciting about any part. I did enjoy the violin solo at the beginning though, after that it just kinda drags on though. For some reason I really think it'd be perfect for a level in Castlevania or a zone in a Final Fantasy game so you could have a future as a video game music writer haha =P

Crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1173216



A dirge isn't meant to be exciting. Funeral aren't exciting. Also, it drags on because it's supposed to be background and not too distracting for the mourners. Dirges on their own are always pretty boring, but when combined with a funeral or something along those lines, they become a powerful form of music.
Check out my band Disturbed
#12
This was great man. Haunting yes. its cool how you answer lines with other instruments while expanding on them. Yea i also got the awesome video game music vibe. If you wanted it to be more like a song for a band or album there would need to be some kind of hook and it would probably have to be longer. But overall i think its awesome. dark melodies with some of my personal favorite intervals/chords, and good lead work.

c4c?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1173010
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