#1
basically im playing drums in a band with 2 of my best friends and a friend i met through music. one of my best friends sings and the other plays guitar while the other plays bass. we are all really determined and everything but the guiarist has the leas experience out of all of us (ive been playing guitar for 5 years and our singer has been plaing for four years) and hes been playing for about a year. he writes really basic songs and litterally bums death metal when the rest of us wanna me more post-hardcore/ screamo. he claims hes dedicated but me, the singer and the bassist have saved up for a PA system and the guitarist makes excuses not to chip in. he owns some ****ty gear4music guitar and amp and says his parents wont let him get new gear unlesss he saves up which is a load of ****. he uses my 100 watt fender for practices and just brings his ****ty guitar that sounds like ****e and he claims my amp is **** cause the distortion isnt good when i didnt buy it for distortion. me an the singer are realy annoyed but the bassist is pretty laid back about things. i dont wanna kick him cus hes my best friend and like i wouldnt anyway cus hes always been a legend apart from being in this band. im not sure whether to find a lead guitarist and have him aswell as the original gutarist. our singer says he will play rhythm if we are stuck but he is a really good singer and i dont want to lose him as a singer and i dont want our guitarist paying lead cus he will **** up. me the singer and the bassist have written songs individually and showed them to each other and he claims that the songs we write sound like fall out boy -.-

he wrote some song that was **** so we changed loads of it and it sounds okay now but its not good at all. the song he wrote is metal but its all power chords and thats it. im really annoyed with him but like i dont know what to do

me and my singer agreed that if anything happend we would form a band from scratch again and i really wanna do this but like i really wanna keep going with this band.

sorry about the huge wall of text and everything

oh yeah, we tried to persuade him to get lessons cus he caims its a waste of money -.-

he thinks hes better than me at guitar even though hes ****. hes not willing to put anything into the band but still claims hes the band "leader"

i dont wanna kic anyone or anything i just wanna get around this but like hes just too aroggant.


urgh. help me!
#2
Quote by n to the k
he claims my amp is **** cause the distortion isnt good when i didnt buy it for distortion. me an the singer are realy annoyed but the bassist is pretty laid back about things. i dont wanna kick him cus hes my best friend and like i wouldnt anyway cus hes always been a legend apart from being in this band


Does this activity remind you of a bestfriend?

I have a best friend, I'd probably take a bullet for him. This does not sound like that kind of a relationship to me.

Be upfront, and challenge his skill, if you must. Humble pie is hard to swallow, but its often the only medicine.

See if he calms down, or kick him out and get new friends.
1981 Gibson Les Paul Custom (Black Beauty)
1980 Marshall JMP 2204
#3
if it ain't workin' it ain't workin'... find a new guitarist. no one said you can't still be friends with this kid. if he's really your friend he'll understand that your differences are making it difficult for the band to function properly and he'll [hopefully] move on to a band that better suits his goals.

just because you're good friends doesn't mean you can do everything together, ya know? try living with one of your "best friends" and that'll become evident pretty quickly.
"... and on either side of the river was the tree of life, with its twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit each month. The leaves of this tree were for the healing of nations.
#4
Be direct and tell him that you need him to be able to have more of an opened mind... and to improve at guitar...
#5
depends on how much you wanna keep him - i think you should organise some practices just you and him so you can try and get him in shape - see if you can drag his chops to your level.

the money is a persistant problem in a lot of bands, but bear in mind that it may be true.

however, i dont think you should stand for his treatment of you and your gear - i would take him to the side and explain calmly why his attitude is bad, and what you need from him. if you do it in front of everyone though then he may take it personally. maybe he will anyway - but i think you have to sort the problem.
#6
Quote by n to the k
...whole post...


I'm sure you've got/will get enough good advice on how to deal with this guy, so I won't bother with that, but I would say you probably need a little bit of advice on how you deal with yourself as well.

I'm not going to try to psychoanalyse your behaviour over some internet forum, but having read your post and your profile, I'm going to hazard the opinion that you could probably do with working on how you communicate with people if you do it in real life at all like you do on here. If your post was you just talking to me, it reads like you'd be ranting, swearing, slurring words into each other, throwing out accusations that you don't back up, the tone is generally immature etc.
Quote by Ed O'Brien
“It’s not genius. It’s just that if you want something good to come out of something, you have to put in a lot of effort. That involves a lot of hard work, and a lot of blood, sweat and tears sometimes.”

http://urbanscarecrow.bandcamp.com/
Last edited by Damascus at Jul 28, 2009,
#7
i would type the whole story up but it would take about 2 hours. well to be honest i know i have been ranting about it but this guy is holding us back as a band and we deserve better than it. and don't jump to the conclusion that i need sorting out myself because of a post on an internet forum.
#8
Anyone here ever been kicked out? I was, in 2001, I was a lead singer in a metal band. It sucked. I still hate those guys. But I was young, brash, full of piss and spit and thought I was the heat.

But Im better for it now. I wouldnt want to play with them if they paid me.

"You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free"
1981 Gibson Les Paul Custom (Black Beauty)
1980 Marshall JMP 2204
#9
secretly record him playing then later play it back to him. When hes goes "what is this ****" you say "that's you, you stupid piece of ****"
#10
Quote by n to the k
i would type the whole story up but it would take about 2 hours. well to be honest i know i have been ranting about it but this guy is holding us back as a band and we deserve better than it. and don't jump to the conclusion that i need sorting out myself because of a post on an internet forum.


You notice the part of my post where I said I would "hazard the opinion"? I'm not jumping to anything.

Having said that...you mention that you live in the pit in your subtitle, you only make vague gestures towards using correct punctuation, your post looked like a massive stream of conciousness, you constantly swear, you use childish insults whilst making claims you don't clarify or qualify, a hell of a lot of your past posts are either very immature in tone or actually about something immature, you've come bitching to an internet forum about problems you should really be discussing with the person in a mature way and you seem to have some kind of entitlement complex about what your band 'deserves'.

Look at that and then wonder why I think that you might need to work on how you communicate and relate to people in real life, if you do it at all like you do on this forum. Like I said - that's the opinion I wouldhazard, given the evidence I've seen - maybe you're completely different in real life. I don't believe that, but I'm willing to accept that I could be wrong.

Finally, just in case it wasn't clear, I'm not saying this guy you're complaining about isn't a problem - I'm just saying that since you're probably going to get a lot of good advice about how to deal with him, I thought I'd suggest looking at ways to improve yourself, as your posts seem to indicate that you could.
Quote by Ed O'Brien
“It’s not genius. It’s just that if you want something good to come out of something, you have to put in a lot of effort. That involves a lot of hard work, and a lot of blood, sweat and tears sometimes.”

http://urbanscarecrow.bandcamp.com/
#11
Quote by Damascus
You notice the part of my post where I said I would "hazard the opinion"? I'm not jumping to anything.

Having said that...you mention that you live in the pit in your subtitle, you only make vague gestures towards using correct punctuation, your post looked like a massive stream of conciousness, you constantly swear, you use childish insults whilst making claims you don't clarify or qualify, a hell of a lot of your past posts are either very immature in tone or actually about something immature, you've come bitching to an internet forum about problems you should really be discussing with the person in a mature way and you seem to have some kind of entitlement complex about what your band 'deserves'.

Look at that and then wonder why I think that you might need to work on how you communicate and relate to people in real life, if you do it at all like you do on this forum. Like I said - that's the opinion I wouldhazard, given the evidence I've seen - maybe you're completely different in real life. I don't believe that, but I'm willing to accept that I could be wrong.

Finally, just in case it wasn't clear, I'm not saying this guy you're complaining about isn't a problem - I'm just saying that since you're probably going to get a lot of good advice about how to deal with him, I thought I'd suggest looking at ways to improve yourself, as your posts seem to indicate that you could.

That... That was the burn of all burns.

But seriously dude, you're going to have to either leave or replace him, because getting along is the most important aspect of making music with somebody.
"If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise don't even start..."
Charles Bukowski
#12
...Well, if he keeps another Hardcore/screamo band for airing.. Then i'm on the guitarists' side.
FUCK YOU ALL!

666 BLACK METAL HOLOCAUST!!!!!
#13
Quote by n to the k
he litterally bums death metal


Pics?
And no, Guitar Hero will not help. Even on expert. Really.
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#15
Quote by Northernmight
...Well, if he keeps another Hardcore/screamo band for airing.. Then i'm on the guitarists' side.

closed minded fool
learn your genres two
hardcore means hardcore punk not post-hardcore or metalcore which your confusing it with
and two
you should appreciate music for what its aiming to do rather than comparing it to your preferred genre
i think you should know that your post did nothing to help the TS and just made you seem ignorant

back to helping the TS
in all honesty musical differences are a HUGE aspect of having a band work
if you all write different styles then you'll never develop and band sound
if you have different aims to him theres no future
especially as combining the two will create a genre neither of you would enjoy
speak to him man to man and explain theres musical differences so his contributions would never contribute to the rest of tyhe bands aims

hope thats some help
#16
Quote by BreakingBnj
getting along is the most important aspect of making music with somebody.

That's definitely not always true.
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