#1
We all know this in the back of our minds, but it's something that can easily slip out of acknowledgement when your dick is getting grinded by a beautiful girl: Strippers don't like you, they like your wallet.

I'm writing this thread because of my experience last night (yeah, Wednesday nights at the naked bitch expo rule). I think it's just hilarious how far some of these girls will go to get that extra dollar. Here's what happened last night:

Me and my friend decide to go to a strip club in a nearby town. We decided against the full-nude place because there were no cars there, and let's face it - the chicks that work at the full-nude place are probably even raunchier than the nasty chicks at the topless place. When we arrive, we're instantly flocked because we made it a point to leave at least 50 one dollar bills stick out of our pockets - and I like doing this, because it usually tends to attract the sluttiest ones there - and I like slutty (to an extent). The girls we end up getting dances from begin to latch on and attempt to suck us dry. The girl I was with was probably the most uninteresting girl I've ever met. Her name was "Roxy" and she didn't like anyone at the club. She repeatedly told me how she thought this bitch was a skank or that bitch wears a wig or that bitch's pussy stinks, etc etc etc. What killed me though, was how blunt I was being in trying to get her to leave me alone and how she brushed it off completely every single time. These are actual quotes after the lapdance where she was hounding me for White Russians VERBATIM:

Roxy: [singing the country song playing]
Me: "Jesus Christ I hate people that like country"
Roxy: "Oh, I don't - I just think that it's something good to dance to"
Me: "You're not getting another lapdance"
Roxy: [giggles]

Me: "I'll bet you have like 5 boyfriends"
Roxy: "No, I actually haven't been in a relationship for years"
Me: "You have to take breaks in between sucking dicks to have a relationship"

Me: "If my dick were any bigger, you'd be ****ing me right now"
Roxy: "Haha, I like it just the way it is"
Me: "That's funny, it doesn't like you that much"

COMPLETELY BLUNT, right?? This chick was ****ing relentless. I understand the absence of emotion - because this is a business, and she's doing her job...but how the hell does she get mad when I take another chick to the Champagne Room? I was completely clear with her, yet she still didn't understand that when I say 'I don't like blondes', I clearly meant 'I don't like blondes'. I even told her how bad her outfit was and accused her of being a meth-addict at one point - yet she was genuinely surprised that I offered the gorgeous brunette $75 to go to the back.

This is when it hit me...my new strip club revelation:

If I can insult this girl after a $20 lapdance, and she still doesn't understand that I'm not into her - she is no more than a ***** in denial.

That may seem obvious...but I used this to my advantage when I got back from the Champagne Room and she was sitting in my chair (instead of trying to make money on the other 30 guys in the club). I said it like this:

Me: "So do you take pride in being a *****?"

This question ****ed her up worse than all the other things I had said all night and she said "**** you" with a disgusted face and walked away. I said everything but the word '*****' in my previous insults - and that was all I needed to say to begin with.

Strippers are glorified dry-humpers that eventually cost more money than the actual act of buying sex on a street corner. So in essence, they are expensive *****s that never do the job.

tl; dr

So in conclusion: you can call a stripper anything you want provided you have $20 - but if you get tired of her and want to see another girl, call the first one a ***** because they are all in denial of the fact that they suck miles of dick in their private life - and she will take offense to the obvious.

All strippers are *****s.

Anyone disagree with this logic?
Mother Earth is pregnant for the third time
For y'all have knocked her up.
I have tasted the maggots in the mind of the universe
I was not offended
For I knew I had to rise above it all
Or drown in my own shit.
#2
...



I didn't learn sh!t.
funkyducky


Icing happen when de puck come down, BANG, you know,
before de oder guys, nobody dere, you know.
My arm go comme ça, den de game stop den start up.

Quote by daytripper75
Get To Da Choppa!
#4
As much of a knobhead sexist sex maniac as I am, I still found your post in bad taste.
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#5
Cool blog bro.
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#6
Quote by rabidguitarist
As much of a knobhead sexist sex maniac as I am, I still found your post in bad taste.


Thank you
Mother Earth is pregnant for the third time
For y'all have knocked her up.
I have tasted the maggots in the mind of the universe
I was not offended
For I knew I had to rise above it all
Or drown in my own shit.
#7
You'll be back for more next Wednesday.
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The time I fell on my face on a trampoline and cracked my neck, then proceded to run around the yard in a blind panic screaming "I hope I'm not paralyzed! OH GOD I THINK I'M PARALYZED!"


#8
Everyone knows that strippers are whores.


...I am assuming you meant whore, it gets confusing when people say "*****"

This is Larry The If you click him, he will give you magic powers.
srsly.


If you are not willing to die for the perfect s'more, Then you don't deserve a s'more at all.
#10
I don't really care. Never been to a strip club, and have no intention of changing that any time soon.
#12
...I am assuming you meant whore, it gets confusing when people say "*****"

No, he told you to call them "starstarstarstarstar".

starstarstarstar.
funkyducky


Icing happen when de puck come down, BANG, you know,
before de oder guys, nobody dere, you know.
My arm go comme ça, den de game stop den start up.

Quote by daytripper75
Get To Da Choppa!
#13
That's poor generalisation; there's plenty of first hand stripper accounts of what it's like being a stripper and none of them represent them as sluts who would do anything for money. In fact, they show a grim perspective. It's an industry which isn't just full of degradation, but sexual assaults and rape are barely uncommon, let alone poor pay sometimes. And do you really think a person would willing volunteer themselves as an object of sexual gratification like that? They need the money yes, but why do you think that they'd go that far for money? Tight spots sometimes.

Besides, you're willing to enter a strip bar with the prospect that women there are merely a commodity, so what other perspective are you going to get?
#14
You must be a sex addict. You username is Blow Me and under your name says Pimp Hand and you go to strip clubs on wednesdays.


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#15
Quote by DirtyMakik
No, he told you to call them "starstarstarstarstar".

starstarstarstar.


Aww c'mon...

...like you assholes don't know what "starstarstarstarstar" is...

PS-

It's "whore"
Mother Earth is pregnant for the third time
For y'all have knocked her up.
I have tasted the maggots in the mind of the universe
I was not offended
For I knew I had to rise above it all
Or drown in my own shit.
#16
Quote by DirtyMakik
No, he told you to call them "starstarstarstarstar".

starstarstarstar.


asteriskasteriskasteriskasteriskasterisk

This is Larry The If you click him, he will give you magic powers.
srsly.


If you are not willing to die for the perfect s'more, Then you don't deserve a s'more at all.
#17
Quote by killerscorpion
You must be a sex addict. You username is Blow Me and under your name says Pimp Hand and you go to strip clubs on wednesdays.


...














He's got a point, here. TS, your view is clearly biased.



Anyway. *reported*
funkyducky


Icing happen when de puck come down, BANG, you know,
before de oder guys, nobody dere, you know.
My arm go comme ça, den de game stop den start up.

Quote by daytripper75
Get To Da Choppa!
#19
Quote by rabidguitarist
As much of a knobhead sexist sex maniac as I am, I still found your post in bad taste.

this. me thinks that you were a tad harsh since your a dirty git who goes to strip clubs to pay for people to dry hump you..
"You're a twat!"- That dude in morrisons

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just a few of my fans..



#21
I wonder how pissed off a stripper would get if you put a handful of change down her panties...
Quote by brandon369852
lolworthy- classicrockboy WIN of thread.
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#22
Quote by thewho65
She's probably paying her way through medical school, nice move dickhead.


She could've paved the way for worldwide renewable energy, but thanks to TS she is permanently labeled a *****.
#23
i would hardly call a stripper a "beautiful girl"


wait... i would NEVER call a stripper a beautiful girl. <--fixed.
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#24
Quote by Craigo
That's poor generalisation; there's plenty of first hand stripper accounts of what it's like being a stripper and none of them represent them as sluts who would do anything for money. In fact, they show a grim perspective. It's an industry which isn't just full of degradation, but sexual assaults and rape are barely uncommon, let alone poor pay sometimes. And do you really think a person would willing volunteer themselves as an object of sexual gratification like that? They need the money yes, but why do you think that they'd go that far for money? Tight spots sometimes.

Besides, you're willing to enter a strip bar with the prospect that women there are merely a commodity, so what other perspective are you going to get?


The way I see it: I'm not degrading them, they're degrading me. They're exploiting my dick-brain to get the money out of my wallet. They signed up for it knowing full-well what to expect - I didn't. I just pulled out the cash and rode the night out.

I generalize it to all strippers because you can't argue that the *****-gene is firmly implanted into a female who will grind on countless men a week for their money. Not to mention the fact that these guys are assholes (I'm a good case in point), but they further allow themselves to offer up their body for money, even when they know they are not wanted. They are beautiful and all potentially great people, but they cross a line of degrading themselves that they can never come back from...and they're FINE with that.

I'm a guy...it's normal for me to be a horny bastard. But I don't pull out my dick and rub it on chick's faces for money...that would be awesome - but very unbecoming to my future prospects as a normal human being.
Mother Earth is pregnant for the third time
For y'all have knocked her up.
I have tasted the maggots in the mind of the universe
I was not offended
For I knew I had to rise above it all
Or drown in my own shit.
#25
Quote by MightyAl
I don't really care. Never been to a strip club, and have no intention of changing that any time soon.


Right on



*prepares possible flameshield*
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I you for posting this.

<-- Pretty much sums me up

8/7/09


^ I was there