#1
Ok so its my first song I made it with Tuxguitar

Keep in mind the program doesn't like to palm mute so in the main riff the chords should be palm muted


i am aware that in the chorus the first time the chords are off a little bit for some reason the program keeps switching it back
Attachments:
1st song.mid
1st song.gp5
Last edited by tabmastar at Aug 15, 2009,
#2
Intro has a good pop punk feel to it. Nice and happy and good to dance to.
Bar 10 has that C ringing over the G chord and it sounds terrible.
The chord progression is simple and used a lot, but it works fine for the style.
Is there a chorus to this song? I can't tell. You should change the progression for the chorus otherwise it just feels like 1 freaky long verse.
Solo was alright. I can tell you're a beginner so I won't bash it's simplicity.
Bass solo isn't really a solo. It's just a section with no guitar.
Outro was fine. Nothing wrong.
One last thing I should say is that the C# is out of key and you have several of them in the guitar parts. Going out of key works if you know how to do it, but those just sound like wrong notes.

Nice job for a first song though.


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#3
Quote by StewieSwan

Bar 10 has that C ringing over the G chord and it sounds terrible.
The chord progression is simple and used a lot, but it works fine for the style.


You should change the progression for the chorus otherwise it just feels like 1 freaky long verse.
One last thing I should say is that the C# is out of key and you have several of them in the guitar parts. Going out of key works if you know how to do it, but those just sound like wrong notes.


fixed the g chord over c chord i dont know ow that happened lol


the chord progression works so im gonna leave

the chorus is when its just the chords im gonna change it soon i jsut can think of anything else right now

and what would u suggest im just gonna play around with other strings till i find something cool
#6
The intro was ok, pretty standard pop-punk stuff, but it was nice and catchy. I'm not too fond on the cymbals, they were a bit obnoxious imo. The verse was nice, and the bass breaks were quite fitting, although the wasn't any real melody going on there to catch my attention (although that may be fixed with the vocals). The solo was nice and simple, just like pop-punk solos should be.

Overall, it was pretty good for a first song
#9
Stop bumping your thread and go crit other peoples work instead. It is the whole idea behind C4C after all

Anyway, pretty good for a first song.

I liked the intro, had a fairly catchy melody going on.

Verse was kind of bland, some interesting rhythm or having one guitar play the chords while the other plays arpeggios or something like that would help.

Bar 17 is just uuugly. Your guitar is hanging an E5 chord, while your bass is thumping away on a G note. It's not a good combination.

Bar 23 is also pretty horrific. One guitar is playing A#5 the other guitar and the bass are playing D5 then C5. The A#5 just doesn't belong.

I liked that you brought the intro melody back in before verse 2.

Bar 51 the last note (C#) is off. Try a D or a B

Solo. Not exactly a solo But a big problem is you've got your bass and your rhythm guitar doing something completely different. It's a big no no. The bass sets the tone of the guitar so to speak, so you've really got to be sure that the bass and guitar are playing from the same chord.

Outro. Lots of little C# notes in the lead part. like before they'd sound a lot better as a D or a B.

Overall, good for a first song. Fairly strong melody. No big problems with arrangement. The largest problem by far was the bass and rhythm guitar not playing the same chords. The bass should be putting the most emphasis on the root of the chord that the guitar is playing, and if it's not, it will actually change the chord that the guitar is playing.

Other than that, try panning the guitars a little... One slightly off to the left, and one slightly to the right. You'll get a better sound.

Also, the drums. were a little obnoxious at times. or specifically the cymbals. If you're going to be doing 8th note hits on the cymbals, try a closed hi-hat or pedal hi-hat instead of whatever you were using. I found it to be a bit obnoxious.
#10
Spamming the cymbals just made the song sound... annoying. You should have changed up the song more. It seems the whole progression stays the same the whole song. I didn't like how you sometimes had a random set of measures... like before the first verse, the hold was 3 measures long. Try making it 2 or 4 measures long to make it sound cleaner. I didn't like the bass and drum breaks much, either, but maybe that was because of the volume.

Good for a first song, though.