#1
Here's a little song I whipped up in about 30-40 minutes. My friend was talking to me about starting a pop-punk band so I thought it'd be a fun genre to write music for. The drums aren't anything special, I just wrote enough to be passable. I'll C4C as long as you provide a link with your post. I'll give as detailed of a crit as you give me.
Attachments:
Riffz 2.gp4
#4
Quote by Vileartist
I think it could use more powerchords.


Your song has more powerchords than this. and your leads are just powerchords picked. So if your not going to leave something more constructive, dont post.

I really like this song. Reminds me a bit of TOCS style Underoath. I dont like the start of the first verse, but i like it when the lead comes in. But yeh overall i really like this song and it seems easy to put vocals to which is good.
#5
Lol thank you for actually leaving feedback on the song =D I appreciate it, and yeah I was writing this song based around having vocals make the sections more bearable. If you have any songs you want crit'd just gimme the link.
#6
Well, I wouldn't quite classify it as pop-punk, but I definitely like it. I like the leadwork primarily because it isn't shred crap, it's more melodic and thought-out. Could sound great recorded, with some sort of phaser effect. MAYBE. Don't quote me.

But really, I think the song's pretty good. Vocals would make it a lot better. I liked the key change part a lot, and I like the outro, especially when the harmonies come in. Not a thing I can think of changing.

You don't have to crit any, but if you want to, Tired of You [in the sig] would be appreciated. XD.
#7
I'll try it out with some effects and let you know how it works out lol =D I'm not big on effects personally but if I'm always open to new ideas, and I'll make sure to crit yours.
#8
This is pretty dark for pop-punk.
The intro is good. I really like how the guitar parts fit together.
The verse is nothing exciting, but that's how the genre typically is.
Prechorus is alright
Verse 2 is really good. I liked it a lot.
The key change is pretty akward. It just happened without any good transition. I like the key change section, but you should find a better way to transition into it.
Same goes for the key change back. It just kinda happens
Outro is great. And when the harmonies come in...omg awesome.

Nice solid song. I won't rate because I despise pop-punk and i'm too biased.
Check out my band Disturbed
#9
Lol yeah I always struggle with the verses trying to keep it within the pop-punk range but not overlapping the same patterns when I write different songs. I agree with the pre-chorus thing, I felt it was average but eh...i can't really think of much else to put there that wouldn't be overdoing it imo. I do enjoy the epic outro though =D
Last edited by Morve38 at Jul 31, 2009,
#10
I'd consider this pop punk in the same way that I do Paramore; (Cause thats really who this reminded me of, over anything else) It's got the essentials of its genre there but you actually got a little bold with it. So yeah, if you kept making stuff like this I'd be totally alright with it haha.

I honestly wouldn't change anything. kudos.
#11
That's an interesting way to look at things, but it compliments me so I won't bash it lol. Thanks for the crit.
#12
the intro was cool. despite simply chords it sounded different. the rhythm part in the first was a bit boring, but it works great for pop punk. the lead was cool, but i thought it stayed in one place a little too much. try adding more of the fretboard to it maybe. chorus/intro i like this riff. really catchy. the key change was a little abrupt. it works but it might be cool if you lead into it with something. I like they harmonies that come out in the prechorus.

then end was my favorite part. i like the use of chords other than powerchords. Maybe have some kind of build up in the drums to make it more epic.
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#13
I'll definitely take what you said into consideration when I go back and work on this song, and yeah I was thinking the same thing about the outro drums. I just kinda figured out a beat I wanted for that section and copied and pasted it lol.
#14
Haha, this song is great. All of the melodies work really well with the chords you've lain out. I was able to hear a vocal melody forming after hearing each part once. The only thing I can recommend is embellishing the chorus lead part a bit. The melody there is great, but it could be expanded on a bit to sound even more awesome. 5 stars for sure.


I'd appreciate if you could check out one of my pieces.

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1172828
#15
I'm not that into pop-punk but this doesn't sound too much like it. I really like it, the chorus is very catchy and the ending is pretty good. Good job.
#16
pretty decent for pop punk. sounds like the popish songs coheed writes.

it fits for pop punk but a lil more more darker sounding than most pop songs but thats not a bad thing.

its not something i would listen to on my own but its good for what it is. pop punk isnt my genre.

with catchy vocals over it im sure its a catchy song. everything was put together well.
i dont think there should really be any improvements i think its the best i can be.

crit mine? its in my sig. you dont really have to give a detailed crit just tell me what u think.
#17
yeah well I pretty like this song, especially the pre-chorus part.
The Key Change in the end is awesome ..
in general the song is a really decent piece of pop-punk music.

I just have one point of criticism but maybe that's just me.
The Chorus riff altogether reminds me a lot of the main riff of Lostprophet's " Burn Burn "
#18
Lol Rkay I already crit yours =D and thanks for your response.

And -Flooow, I thought the exact same thing after I wrote it lol. I was like "Where have I heard this rhythm before..." and then I remembered that song haha.
#19
haha my bad. i had this page open for like a day and i guess i forgot it was from ur c4c
#21
cutting as i go .... the intro which is also the chorus is the most personal touch in this song...

the verses are too shallow in my opinion you could have been a lttle more creative.

but when it comes to the key change it is something that i myself use in my songs and i liked it alot no crit for that.

but the bridgr is veri simple tooo.

the outro is beter with the harmony if i were you i would remove the first part of the outro

i rate it 6.5/10 maybe because its not my piece of cake but... thats it
#22
Again, I see some Blink-182 influence; are you a fan, or this coincidence? I mean it in a good way, I really like Blink.
The main riff (intro and chorus) took me a bit to get used to because of the rest at the beginning of it, but it still sounds pretty good. That's really my only complaint; you didn't write anything that's going to stand out by a long-shot, but I do think it's better than a lot of Pop-Punk that's out there. Overall, I really liked it.
As for C4C, anything you can do in the link in my sig would be appreciated.
#23
I actually am a fan of blink, but oddly enough I don't use them as a reference when I write haha. When I write it's more along the lines of Mayday Parade and (sadly) ATL. The Mayday influences are a little more prominent in the other songs moreso than this. I didn't realize you critted both of my songs so I'll make sure to return the second one in a bit.