#1
Don't post here much anymore, but I just wrote this and figured I'd put it up. It's about my best friend's new girlfriend and how she's ripping our group of friends apart slowly but surely. Crits would be appreciated I need to tighten this up a bit and could go for some advice if you've got it, I will return all comments/crits that i get. thanks guys


My friend it’s been a while
You’ve spent so long staring at her smile
It’s like you’ve forgotten I was there
I never thought I’d see the day
That beauty’d beat the brain
But I guess life’s just not fair
And I know you can’t deny
That look in her eye
But what about the grip of my handshake?
And can you tell me why
Whenever she cries
You forget about all the promises that we made

Like bros before hoes
And sleeping with our clothes on
Now you’re spending your days outside the nail salon
I know this isn’t you
But I’ve gotta tell the truth
I can’t sit back and watch this go on

My friend in a little bit
When you’re done staring at her tits
You’ll realize the mistake that you’ve made
I’d love to see the look on your face
The day that you’re replaced
And you find out that you’ve been played
She’ll never take a second look
You’re just another name in her book
You never meant **** to her
And you’ll remember you best buds
The ones that you threw under the bus
You’ll miss everything that we once were

Bros before hoes
Sleeping with our clothes on
You’ll waste your days in your room all alone
I only want what’s best for you
And I’ve gotta tell the truth
I can’t sit back and watch her replace us

So you can say goodbye to your girlfriend
Or say so long to everyone in the end

Bros before hoes
Sleeping with our clothes on
You’ll waste your days in your room all alone
I only want what’s best for you
And I’ve gotta tell the truth
I can’t sit back and watch her replace us
No I can’t sit back and watch her replace us
I can’t sit back and watch her replace us
#2
I think the concept is decent, except the lyrics make the singer come across as way too needy in a gay kinda way..

I also don't understand how you can sing about "bros before hoes" and then threaten to ditch your friend if he keeps on with this chick.
Doesn't come across as so bro-ish there.
#3
I appreciate the fact that it isn't pretentious. I can understand what you're trying to convey, and it's apparent that you're trying to relate to your audience, not challenge their intelligence. Kudos. =)
this heart beats for only you.