#1
fifty five hours a week
makes you feel forty years old
workin minimum waige just to put gas in your truck.
hey obama
wheres my change man?
the cigarettes cost five fifty,
and i only got a quarter back.
pick a fight with the cashier.
now its all better.

Friday's i feel fine
little man put that check in my hand,
smile that charming smile no one seems to see anymore,
and head on home.

the rush only lasts until i pull in the driveway
add another butt to my pile
fall in the couch,
forget to make dinner
again.
fall asleep and for some reason
I wake up to do it all over again.
#2
This was hollow to me.

It tells a story; it creates a character... but you really just built a frame. No heart to it. No life. It made its point, and on that front it was a success... but it just didn't have a heartbeat for me to care that much about its point.

(its a shame to see your pieces dying with no comments, you're still underappreciated around here).
#3
Like he said, hollow

Just a quick story about a guy going through the motions.
Nothing really going on here
#4
Damn, I love this.
Plain talk. Unpretentious. Unpretty.
The loop-back could be a lot stronger if you were just waking up in the beginning of the piece.
Give is some sequence, ya know?
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#5
This is so... wave my head from side to side because my life is a blinding example of happiness...


a truely bemused person he is.