#1
There is variation to the placement of the text in the draft but it didn't show up on copy/paste but whatever. Cheers


I don't make promises.
Promises are chains
Attached to dog houses
Bolted into the Earth
Orbiting our star.

They remind me of being on fire.
(Stop! Drop! Roll!)
But no one ever does that.

Or of when the keen raven
descends and scoops up
a mangy mouse that resembles
a homeless lady more than
an animal. The promise
is fate.

Yet so many people prefer
the intoxicating fresh kiss of death
to the soft, gentle kiss of life.

[Or what we know as life and death]
The promise manifests through us.
#2
It's a little too random in my mind but I'm not sayin you can't pull it off.
It's pretty good, the only things that I didn't like were the first two lines.

"I don't make promises. Promises are chains" feels too straight forward, you should try and figure out a different way to say it maybe. Just a suggestion.
Good song....or poem.