#1
hey people so i have two songs on my profile entitled rsong2 and rsong4 and i was wondering what you guys think of them.

as i said before they are kind of rock and metalish but definitely not stuck to one.

leave me a crit and i will do the same for you.

feel free to check out my other stuff as well. thanks.
Gear
-Ibanez RG321 ( /w D-Sonic)
-Agile AL-3100 (/w Custom + '59)
-Yamaha FG730S
-Crybaby 535Q
-Keeley TS-9
-ISP Decimator
-B-52 AT-212
Quote by Mental-lica
My hats off to you mr. lanzaa and you can put this in your sig

M en
E jaculating
T o
A wful
L yrics
#3
thanks bud, yeah the only thing they are missing are vocals so it may seem that they drag on a bit, ill crit yours right now.
Gear
-Ibanez RG321 ( /w D-Sonic)
-Agile AL-3100 (/w Custom + '59)
-Yamaha FG730S
-Crybaby 535Q
-Keeley TS-9
-ISP Decimator
-B-52 AT-212
Quote by Mental-lica
My hats off to you mr. lanzaa and you can put this in your sig

M en
E jaculating
T o
A wful
L yrics
#4
Both of those songs seem to drag on for a bit, but vocals would defiantly fix that. The drums on song rsong2 at a bit after 3 minutes seemed strange, especially with that ride cymbal work. I love all of the melodies, those are good. The solos are nice too. Tbh rsong4 reminds me of motorhead, but in a good way.
Gear:
Ibanez RG570 circa 1993
Ibanez S2020XAV
Carvin DC127
EVH 5153 50w
Orange PPC112
AxeFX II
#5
Rsong2: I like the driving feel of the guitar and drums, and the basslines sound great! The only problem I hear though, is that maybe the guitar tone is a bit too distorted for certain parts (it's perfect for the metal sections near the end, though). But yeah, the riffing is great, the basslines stand out (in a good way), but I'd fix the tone, and maybe clean up the drums a bit.

Rsong4: Nice thrashy goodness. The riffs and basslines are great as with song 2, but the rhythm of the main riff kinda sound a teeny bit awkward at certain parts. It all flows together really nicely though!
#7
Rsong4 -
I love the riff at the start of this, and the cymbals are used to very good effect.
In my opinion, this song would benefit from lyrics - make things a bit more interesting, because at points it does seem to drag on.
The bit around 1.30 i really like with the tremelo picking.
I see how the whole song is devised around that main riff, and is really is interesting.
I really like the key change that leads back into the riff, then into a build up.
I think that tremolo bit is the outstanding feature for me, i really enjoyed that bit.

Rsong2 -
I like the distortion effect used on the guitar here.
Nice interesting drums once again, back the whole mood created by the piece.
I like how you have layered the different guitars, and have put an overlapping melody on the left hand side of the speaker.
However, once again, I think the piece would benefit from lyrics.

Keep it up, and thx for the crit!
AJ
Last edited by ankthebank at Aug 3, 2009,
#9
<---- i'm sorry, but that post is not constructive AT ALL.

You're not telling him how to improve, what makes it 'shyt' (you spelt that wrong btw) and what the good aspects are.
There are softer ways of putting this across... although, in my opinion, these two tracks really are very good
#10
Not bad(r2) The only thing I would change is that it seems the right side/ lead guitar is a bit over powering especially during the solo and riff parts. Otherwise good skills and clean playing. Ok I just hit the change up and that was cool... but still that solo guitar is panned too far right and too over powering. Do you stand with your right ear toward your amp all the time? Just curious - take care of you ears!!
Now R4... Pretty clean, I like the guitar duo part, this time both sides are more even and balanced. Try bringing both sides a little more to the center, they will blend better.
Good job!
#11
Both songs are pretty good. The riffs are good, the playing is good, and the tone is good (on both bass and guitar). I think I liked rsong4 a bit better, not exactly sure why, but I think it rocks a little harder than the other one. I especially liked the slower sections in 4. On the downside, as someone else said, both songs do drag on a little bit, vocals/lyrics would fix that. But nice job with what you have already.

And thanks for critting mine.
#13
I like them a lot. The only issue I really have with them is that I'm not the biggest fan of your tone. That's entirely subjective, though...

Also, on rsong4 there are parts where there are 2 guitar parts and they seem to be fighting for position rather than working together if tha makes any sense.

The last thing I noticed is that the songs can get a bit repititive. Perhaps you've left it open that way on purpose for lyrics and/or solos? (I usually do a bunch of instrumentals, so this concept is foreign to me )

I really enjoyed rsong2. It reminds me of video game music, which--to me--is cool.

Keep up the good work, my friend. What are you recording through? (Guitar, pups, interface, the whole 9...)
"... and on either side of the river was the tree of life, with its twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit each month. The leaves of this tree were for the healing of nations.
#14
for recording i used a line 6 tone port using my agile guitar although at the point of recording i still had the stock pups in there. i also used my isp decimator and the ts-9 during the solos.

and yeah if you really scrutinize the songs they only have like 5 unique parts to them but i like it so that they come around full circle. it was my idea that the vocals would fix the fact that they drag on a little.

thanks for the crit.
Gear
-Ibanez RG321 ( /w D-Sonic)
-Agile AL-3100 (/w Custom + '59)
-Yamaha FG730S
-Crybaby 535Q
-Keeley TS-9
-ISP Decimator
-B-52 AT-212
Quote by Mental-lica
My hats off to you mr. lanzaa and you can put this in your sig

M en
E jaculating
T o
A wful
L yrics
#15
any time man. keep up the good work.
"... and on either side of the river was the tree of life, with its twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit each month. The leaves of this tree were for the healing of nations.
#16
i agree with the posts earlier - the songs were both great but i thought they ended up a little repeditive by the end

while i think vocals would fix this, it might not be neccesary, id say if you just shortened the songs up a little it would be good

however, i dont usually listen to this kind of music and im big on improvising so take what i say with a grain of salt =P

thanks for your critique on my chord melody
what is the music theory and what does it teach you, like scales, solos, and to build speed???



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