#1
I've mixed in a lot of different feels into this so in some parts the guitar work is meant to be low in what I call the 'audiences attention mix'. I have another ending that I could throw in if the one in it isn't adequate. I do feel well about it though.

C4C.
I appreciate all feedback, however. I do ask. If you don't like it please EXPLAIN. Saying, "This sucks, start over", does not help me.
Attachments:
Aurora of Alemadea.zip
-Gear-
Mesa Triple Rectifier---Bogner/Line6 SpiderValve---Orange PPC 4x12

-Pedalboard/Rackmount-
Alesis MidiVerb4--BBE SonicMaximizer 442--Ibanez TS9
Boss DD-3--Morley Mark Tremonti Wah

-Guitars-
Ibanez ART-100
Ibanez S-470
#2
Listening as I crit
Ok well at first I thouhgt I wasnt gona like the Main Riff but it became very catchy and I began to enjoy it.
I personally did not like the preverse. I think you could create a palm mutey lead hear rather than just power chords.
I think the "Unfinished riff" part is really sweet. I think You should repeat it 8 times and alternate between 1 octave higher and what you have it as now.
You did a good job panning the verse 1 intro. Really added to it.
Verse 1 A was really sweet . I especially like'd the drums here.
Verse 1 B I couldnt hear the tremelo picking well bc im in MIDI only but I think that'll sound really good played live or in RSE.
Begining half of the breakdown sounded like a cluster **** of noise hahah. Too much randomness going on. I suggest changing that.
Verse 2 intro was really creepy in a good way and flows into Verse 2 A well.
Verse A also flows into verse B very well (Which i loved btw)
Very good phrasing early on in the solo But i think bars 71-73 killed that. Change those a tad bit. I really did enjoy that solo. Solo B was sweet but felt odd. can't explain it.
I loved happy breakdown
Epic Outro didnt seem all that epic tho ):.
Overall good song. Honestly I don't really like the genre too much but this was very listenable. 8.5/10
#3
hey, for the most part, I really liked this
The intro ..everything just flowed so well, thats my favorite part by far
maybe yu could incorporate a bit of that in the background of the epic outro?
because the outro ..though not bad, went a little ..metalcore, I think having an intro-esque behind the lead might make it better?
see watcha think.
The theme riff, is probably my second fav. personally, nothing should be changed here.
Bar 18..that transition isn't..tooo bad
but by the rest of your song, im sure you could make that part better
Bar 22, the last three chords, I dont think fit that part
Bar 20, ending with the 4 power chord seems a bit odd, maybe in the real recording, hold it palm muted and have a slow-ish drop with a whammy bar, or something else there and do that at bar 22.
the only thing that bugs me about bars 23-29, is that..24, 26, and 28, all end on the 4, it makes that piece sound ..repetitive? sorta? not sure what to say there
maybe change the holded note at 26 something else?
Bar 30, not sure whats happening with that :P
31-46, I loved
47-50..not..again, not tooo bad, but the lead part would have to be clearly over the rhythm, maybe changed a bit
I personally dont think you should have that kind of a break down in the song, ruins it for me
soooo many songs have breakdowns, it was great at first, but getting a little stale now
I mean, all for the break down, but make it..more unique
so people aren't like..thinking this break down sounds just like almost every other break down out there
breakdowns have become mainstream in metalcore/deathcore
change it up a bit
from there, its great until bar 70, just the last note, doesn't match
its not harmony at that note, i forget what its called, the rest of the harmony is perfect though
how the post above said..the 2nd part of the solo seemed a bit odd
i like it..but i think..make bar 78 unto thirty-second notes, or, the last 2 beats of that bar, into thirty-second notes
i think it would flow muuuch better
try it out, i really think so
will have to add or change up bar 78, but yu can do it
the last note being held at the end of 82..shouldn't be
it should be held at the beginning of 83
and possibly even..the last beat of 82, have a bended note, and maybe that'll flow better into the 83-86 bars
and at 87, have a note there that gets held out maybe..87-88 decending down with a whammy, flow better into the build up, instead of just stopping at the build up
and the triple beat rhythm after the happy breakdown, its too stale, its been used a lot before
and this leaves me at the Epic Outro..which i already discussed in the beginning
i was planning going all in order, which i did after words, but i had that idea when i started to re-listen to the parts that i criticized.
I hope this helped.
i really like the idea yu have going, and really like some of the parts
just trying to help make it a bit more original when i talked about certain things like the breakdown n breakdown behind the post-happy breakdown, it'll help in the long run..maybe the whole run
good luck !
keep it up !
and keep us posted with updates and other songs you create !
#4
Critting as I listen

Intro comes in nice, I love the drums on the first bar kicking things off. I like that in songs.

Theme Riff blends in nicely from the Intro and sets a sort've "groove" if you will. I was sort've moving back and forth in my seat to the rhythm

In Pre-Verse, I didn't like bar 18. This is just one of my personal gripes with this genre in general, the strange chords that don't ring so well, and just come out as... I dunno, they sound strange to me. I enjoyed the rest of this section, especially the sudden stops. Definitely nice.

I felt Verse I- Intro was quick and catchy, my favorite part of it would definitely be the back and forth between the Left and Right guitars on bars 31 and 32.

In Verse I as a whole (both A and B together) I thought that Guitar Left's riff had gotten old and repetitive by the time the song progress from A to B, and then I thought the 32nd's Guitar Right began playing just sounded very flat and dull.

I'm not going to lie, The Breakdown had a lot of open notes in it. I was worried for a moment, but I thought that the clever little lick on bar 52 was great.

Verse 2- Intro surprised me chord choices. I felt it built up very well to Verse 2.

Verse 2- (A&B) Had me headbanging. This part rocked in a very gloomy way. Very cool.

I thought the way Solo A came in was very subtle, and fit as a Solo while not breaking up the gloomy atmosphere you created with Verse 2.

Solo B was fun. It sort've twisted Solo A around for more flash, very nice.

Build Up was somewhat un-fullfilling. It didn't really feel like it was building up. Maybe add some ascending scales?

Happy Breakdown was a better use of the open note powerchords, I felt. Less generic, fun stuff

Ah, the Outro... It truly lived up to its name, it was, in fact, epic. I love fading outros.

K, so... While I may not be a huge fan of the genre, or a constant listener to such tunes, this was quite an entertaining little piece. I imagine you have growl vocals planned for it? It would work wonderfully with those

Overall... 8/10.

And thanks for the crit.
#5
Thank you guys so so so much for all the critiques.

I'm going to show this all to the guys...I may or may not mess with the Guitar Pro file. We have recording soon so i'll just make sure to let ya'll know when it IS posted. Like I said, I may update this I may not.

I'm sure for all of the you the toughest area is the section right before the verse, that section I didn't transcribe well enough, because I knew it wouldn't be worth it. Its a gang vocal section with cliche (not my choice) vulgar death-core lyrics. I assure you in reality, that is the highlight of the song to many with vocals added.

With the solo, i'll probably just wing it.
I did for the solo on our two year old song.
www.myspace.com/weareaglaia

Quote by GoSmokeMore

I personally dont think you should have that kind of a break down in the song, ruins it for me
soooo many songs have breakdowns, it was great at first, but getting a little stale now
I mean, all for the break down, but make it..more unique
so people aren't like..thinking this break down sounds just like almost every other break down out there
breakdowns have become mainstream in metalcore/deathcore
change it up a bit

I agree with you, but its still the raze for fans.

Again thank you so much, I got the ideas turning.
-Gear-
Mesa Triple Rectifier---Bogner/Line6 SpiderValve---Orange PPC 4x12

-Pedalboard/Rackmount-
Alesis MidiVerb4--BBE SonicMaximizer 442--Ibanez TS9
Boss DD-3--Morley Mark Tremonti Wah

-Guitars-
Ibanez ART-100
Ibanez S-470
Last edited by FlyingPooooo at Aug 5, 2009,
#6
thanks for the crit, sorry it took so long to return the favor, i been away from the internet, but anyway....
intro,theme riff- dude, this theme riff, its so awesome, i didnt like it at first but it grew on me...its awesome
preverse-this part is ok, i dont like the drums
unfinished lead-i dont really like this part, its just awkward sounding
Verse1-a- i kinda like it, i just didnt like the drums
verse 1-b this was awesome, i loved what the right guitar was playing
breakdown- there was just something about it, that didnt suit my liking
I liked both versions of the second riff, it was friggin golden...
Again, both of the solos were friggin amazing, i loved them
i didnt like the happy breakdown, but the epic outro, was just that...epic...it was sweet...
overall, i give it a 7/10