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#1
Sup.

Yes, a thread to talk about the most awkward fap you've had.

Whether it be getting walked in on, or stray shots, or any other crazy thing that might've happened.

My most awkward would be accidentally getting shot in the face...it was pretty seedy.

EDIT: and a story that i was just told by my friend.
he's uncircumcised (and yes so am i) and he was beating off to some "really ****ing good porn' and he tore his frenulum (that bit of skin under the head of the dick). he said it was bleeding for several hours and now he has a scar on it.
Last edited by sum_41_1942 at Aug 2, 2009,
#3
I was getting a terrible terrible blowjob, a few nights ago. I had to tell her I was getting a drink, and wank myself off to the point of climax while I was in the kitchen.
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#4
Quote by rabidguitarist
I was getting a terrible terrible blowjob, a few nights ago. I had to tell her I was getting a drink, and wank myself off to the point of climax while I was in the kitchen.

I heard about that the other night.

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youmakemesmile...

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Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#5
Kinda awkward when I'm 'fapping' (whatever you want to call it for girls) and my parents call me from another room. I have to stop then. >.<
wen i ask they say that they fall into the habit smhw ........but nyways i think there is a connection smwhere. Now i being a teetollar will not give into this habit nyhw

FOR JUST £2 A WEEK, YOU CAN PREVENT THIS.
#6
Quote by rabidguitarist
I was getting a terrible terrible blowjob, a few nights ago. I had to tell her I was getting a drink, and wank myself off to the point of climax while I was in the kitchen.

WIN
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About my Lady Gaga/Pokemon parody
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XD not bad

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#7
Quote by el-ECTRO
Kinda awkward when I'm 'fapping' (whatever you want to call it for girls) and my parents call me from another room. I have to stop then. >.<

i'd probably just say 'masturbating' for chicks. fapping seems to be the guy thing. why can't you just finish off as quickly as possible?
#8
girls don't fap, they schlick.
You're using UG classic, congratulations.
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#9
Quote by el-ECTRO
Kinda awkward when I'm 'fapping' (whatever you want to call it for girls) and my parents call me from another room. I have to stop then. >.<

well duh
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I seem to attract girls.
Which is annoying, cos I'm a girl and I like cock.

Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
Being an idiot should be illegal too.
#10
Quote by sum_41_1942
i'd probably just say 'masturbating' for chicks. fapping seems to be the guy thing. why can't you just finish off as quickly as possible?


My parents calling my name kinda turns me off.
wen i ask they say that they fall into the habit smhw ........but nyways i think there is a connection smwhere. Now i being a teetollar will not give into this habit nyhw

FOR JUST £2 A WEEK, YOU CAN PREVENT THIS.
#11
I was fapping the in shower..

We have one of those 'blurry' windows that separate the shower from the sink and stuff. My mom came in to brush her teeth. The outlined figure of my body was a dude grabbing his junk.

I didn't know she was there til I heard the door close from her leaving.

EDIT: And I remember when my dad came in once. I put the blanket over me and make my knees into a 'tent' so he couldn't see my boner. I jizzed while he gave me a lecture on using coasters.
R.I.P. Ronnie James Dio. Supplied amazing music to both me and my mother.

He will be missed.
Last edited by larrytheguitar at Aug 1, 2009,
#12
Quote by el-ECTRO
Kinda awkward when I'm 'fapping' (whatever you want to call it for girls) and my parents call me from another room. I have to stop then. >.<

Schlicking.

And yea, I can relate with you on a male level.

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youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#13
This one time I was masturbating over my sister sleeping and she woke up and asked 'what are you doing?' - Thankfully she didn't see what I was doing but I froze and started crying.
RULE BRITANNIA
#14
Quote by el-ECTRO
Kinda awkward when I'm 'fapping' (whatever you want to call it for girls) and my parents call me from another room. I have to stop then. >.<

Let me ask you a personal question.

Do you schlick or do you pound?
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices
#15
Quote by Cobain_Is_King
This one time I was masturbating over my sister sleeping and she woke up and asked 'what are you doing?' - Thankfully she didn't see what I was doing but I froze and started crying.

I am thinking about sigging this...
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Quote by OddOneOut
I seem to attract girls.
Which is annoying, cos I'm a girl and I like cock.

Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
Being an idiot should be illegal too.
#16
Quote by el-ECTRO
My parents calling my name kinda turns me off.

hmm fair enough. i have a good imagination so it blocks out any distractions.
#17
Quote by Cobain_Is_King
This one time I was masturbating over my sister sleeping and she woke up and asked 'what are you doing?' - Thankfully she didn't see what I was doing but I froze and started crying.

Being rather drunk at this present moment, I laughed rather loudly.

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#18
nothing awkward has really happened to me, but i have two mates who have hit themselves in the face accidentally and one who had to jizz into his pants because his mum came in just at the wrong moment...
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#20
Quote by el-ECTRO
Kinda awkward when I'm 'fapping' and my parents call me from another room. I have to stop then. >.<





possible sig?
>.>
<.<
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#21
Quote by nimrod_hahahaha
nothing awkward has really happened to me, but i have two mates who have hit themselves in the face accidentally and one who had to jizz into his pants because his mum came in just at the wrong moment...

hehehehe. that'd be the worst possible thing if he had his dick out when your parents walked in. i had a mate who got caught cleaning up just after he was done lulz, by his dad. he just said 'there's a time and a place for this' and my friend said 'im in my ****ing room with the door closed late at night' and then his dad left
#22
Quote by guitaro69
i fapped onto the laptop keyboard and the jizz got under the space bar. I pulled it off to clean it and the keyboard is still not working 100%! damn you jiz!

isnt that what got you in trouble in the first place?
My Deviantart

Great Minds Think Alike
Quote by Son.Of.TheViper
You sigged me, AND had an idea the same as mine!
I like you.

About my Lady Gaga/Pokemon parody
Quote by Mike50227
XD not bad

Quote by ExOblivione
You're my hero.

Quote by myevilside
I must say, i love it!
#23
I don't have any cool stories for this thread. Apparently I'm a way too stealthy fapper.
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oh yeah? well larry king the slayer guitarist owns bc rich guitars. (i think)
#24
Fapping to a certain someone while her family was in the background doing whatever.
No, I don't want to explain and no, I don't want to talk about.
#25
Quote by sum_41_1942
hehehehe. that'd be the worst possible thing if he had his dick out when your parents walked in. i had a mate who got caught cleaning up just after he was done lulz, by his dad. he just said 'there's a time and a place for this' and my friend said 'im in my ****ing room with the door closed late at night' and then his dad left


lol its funny when people say things for the sake of saying something, and it makes no sense. Especially when it's someone like that.
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#26
Quote by skaterskagg1
Fapping to a certain someone while her family was in the background doing whatever.
Yes, I want to explain and yes, I want to talk about.

why aren't you telling us then?
#27
Quote by sum_41_1942
why aren't you telling us then?

Damn you, I see what you did there.
Last edited by skaterskagg1 at Aug 1, 2009,
#28
Quote by skaterskagg1
I feel super awkward even recalling it from memory.

just open up, the laughter directed at you will help heal the wounds
Blog Of Awesome UGers.
Quote by OddOneOut
I seem to attract girls.
Which is annoying, cos I'm a girl and I like cock.

Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
Being an idiot should be illegal too.
#29
Quote by skaterskagg1
Damn you, I see what you did there.

hehehe sounded like a funny story though.
#31
Quote by Melodic_Rocker
Back of the school bus on the way home. I just couldn't wait to get home.

Clearly you are gonna become a rapist, or (most likely) already are one
Blog Of Awesome UGers.
Quote by OddOneOut
I seem to attract girls.
Which is annoying, cos I'm a girl and I like cock.

Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
Being an idiot should be illegal too.
#32
Quote by Melodic_Rocker
Back of the school bus on the way home. I just couldn't wait to get home.

Same man

Shame I finished school 24 years ago though.

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#33
Quote by Venice King
Clearly you are gonna become a rapist, or (most likely) already are one


Nah, it's not rape if I yell 'surprise!'
#35
Quote by Melodic_Rocker
Back of the school bus on the way home. I just couldn't wait to get home.

Yes I'm not the only one!

...




Ohh... and before I moved into this house, i lived in a mobile home, and I was in the shower... I come out and my dad is like "Were you jumping or running or dancing or something? Somethings shaking the house but the washing machine wasn't on or anything..."

All i could muster was a "....no". Apparently when I whack, I have enough force to shake a trailer.
Last edited by Ignite at Aug 1, 2009,
#37
Quote by Ignite
Yes I'm not the only one!

...




Ohh... and before I moved into this house, i lived in a mobile home, and I was in the shower... I come out and my dad is like "Were jumping or running or dancing or something? Somethings shaking the house but the washing machine wasn't on or anything..."

All i could muster was a "....no". Apparently when I whack, I have enough force to shake a trailer.




I have no storys, I sleep in the basement, everyone else sleeps on the top floor.
#38
I was fapping to this erotic listening book(It's awesome, you should try it) with my headphones on, and my mother walks in. She didn't notice, I think, because she acted all normal, and she couldn't see me because of the chair I was sitting in(it's huge).
Pretty awkward for me, It killed my boner.
#39
Quote by imdeth
Outside. I was in a place where I could see every passer by but they could barely see me. It was both awkward and awesome.


Pretty sure that's a one way ticket to the Sex Offenders Register
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