#1
Ermmmm, very cliched.

But its my first song ever
And it does actually mean quite alot to me.


How can something that made me so happy
hurt so badly now?
Do I keep trying or is it all lost?
Lost in clouded memories and my shattered hopes
Hopes that still breathe desperation and truth
I still need you

I gave you everything at a terrible cost
My heart, my soul, all that I lost
But now I remember
Put my pen to paper
I still love you

Days and nights go by
Without you by my side
And I miss you every second
[Because I need you all the time]
I fear I am a sinking ship, falling to the bottom
Of a desperate and a lonely place
I pray you haven't forgotten
Of times we shared
And nights we cared
We have something special
You are always my girl

I gave you everything at a terrible cost
My heart, my soul, all that I lost
But now I remember
Put my pen to paper
I still love you

We are born to love and live
But love is so damn hard to give
Yet Ive found the one
I hold her close
I don't think she wants to know
You make my life complete [You make me so complete!]

I gave you everything at a terrible cost
My heart, my soul, all that I lost
But now I remember
Put my pen to paper
I still love you
Last edited by Aaron!! at Aug 1, 2009,
#2
I actually liked this alot, I kind of read it as a mainstream rock song though dont know if thats how you intended it or not, but for your first piece this is really good, the only thing that I would change is the I still need you I still love you lines, I would get rid of still but thats just me if you wanna crit one of my pieces the links in my sig, preferably chopping block