#1
Hey how's it going?

This song was definitely a recording project. I wrote the background vocals and recorded them, then the guitar parts and recorded them, bass, and lyrics/lead vox. Just wanna know what you guys think. This is my first time taking clean vox seriously, and since I'm insecure I layered them quite a bit. What do you think? What should I work on? Are the lyrics too childish? I especially need advice on my singing voice. And the bridge after the second chorus... I feel like it's missing something, but I can't tell what? Trying to fit a guitar solo in there ended up being real dumb. Maybe some keys? I know I need drums, too...

Tear me a new butthole, I wanna get good!

http://www.myspace.com/weeirdo

PS - I'll crit back anyone who would like me to!

PSS - Thanks a ton!
I play guitar
Last edited by )Eric(Draven at Aug 2, 2009,
#2
Intro grabbed me immediately. The guitar playing is simple but great, I really like the mood it creates. The vocal melodies are very nice. Actually, I really like this song. But there are obviously things you can do to improve it.

First of all, don't be afraid of your own voice. From what I heard it sounds great, but it got drowned out in all the effects and layers you put on it. A lot of the lyrics were also hard to hear (but from what I did hear I wouldn't say they were childish). So maybe try less effects and less layering. Layering is okay, but make sure there is one "main" vocal track. Effects are fine too but don't overdo it.

The vocals are your main problem. Other then that, there's not much to fix. Drums would definitely be nice but they are not required. I like the intro as it is so if you ever do add drums then have them come in a bit later on in the song. As for the bridge, maybe try a simple 2-3 note guitar solo. It doesn't even have to be loud, just slip it in there and it might give the bridge the extra kick that you want. But the bridge isn't terrible the way it is now.

Well that's it. This is a good song though so you should definitely be proud of your efforts. Just play around with the vocals some. You have a decent voice so don't be afraid of it. Aim to make the vocals sound more natural and make sure you have one main vocal track. Once you finish that you should have a seriously awesome song on your hands.

And I appreciate the crit on mine.