#1
Finished this song not that long ago, but i keep changing things around a bit. There's two versions of the song, dayTWO is the original song, dayTWO2 is the newer, improved (hopefully) version. I was hoping for a cult of luna/isis vibe, but it kinda got a mind of its own after a while. Neither RSE or midi do the song justice, but it'd be better to listen to it in midi.

tear it to shreds, i need the critique. this is my second song ever after all. the transitions are horrible, too, i could use some help with those

i'm not that good at critiquing either, but if you crit mine, i'll crit yours
Attachments:
dayTWO.zip
Last edited by Fullmetal_tmd at Aug 2, 2009,
#2
The second version is much improved so im going to crit that one.
This sounds really good! Some flaws, but I'm sure thats only because its like your second song.

The start is ok, 12-18 sounds too dissonant, and repeats too many times, I like the transition at bar 11 though.

21 sounds really good. To be honest I think itd sound better if you cut the start and started it at 21, but its up to you.

The light distortion bit, you should probably only repeat each bit once, then go into the next bit i think.

The full distortion bit, the drums would probably sound better if they started as a buildup, like the hihat thing the way they are and then just a bass drum rather than alternating between bass and snare, gives it more tension, until about bar 36 put in some really fast snare thing to build it up to an big heavy climax at bar 37 with a kind of normal bass snare pattern, and cymbals all over the place too!

You could take the clean guitar out at 61 i think, itd sound less like it came from nowhere.
The clean bit sounds really good too, then when it comes to the distortion bit is also good, jsut less repeats is what id say here. I'm not sure about the clean guitar outro, i think youd be better just ending on a D chord.
But yeah this is awesome.



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#3
critting as i listen

1-10- i love the intro riff..

11-20- the lead part with the octaves sounds really good

lighter distortion- i dont know what it is i just dont like this part...i think this riff would sound better faster

full distortion- i think this part is good, but i also think it would be an improvement if it was faster, i really lik the harmony

clean interlude-the best part of the song i think..really, really great

full distortion- i dont like the clean riff distorted...i just dont think it sounds that good, maybe its just me

outro- i dont know why, but i loved it..

overall- i'd say it was a 7/10...really good song, it had its moments, like the clean part..that was really good...C4C? its song 6 in my sig, if you have the time...thanks
#4
Well that's a hard hitting intro if I ever heard one
Sounds great, but I think it repeats a bit too much
I like the notes, but it could due with some rhythmic variation.
The lighter distortion part was a nice break
I like the full distortion part as well
Less repeats though. Some of these parts are just dragging on way too long
Lighter distortion (2) is nice too, but perhaps a clean tone would be better here. That's just personal preference though.
So much repeating...
Full Distortion (2) was a much needed change. I like this section a lot. The big beefy chords and the clean guitar mesh really well.
Outro was just annoying...if you're gonna do that, have it fade out and put some chords beneath it.
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