#1
Well... Here's something I came up with a few days ago. I dunno why all my stuff sounds like Metalcore, the only Metalcore I listen to on a regular basis is Killswitch Engage, so

Anyway, C4C. Hopefully some one likes it

EDIT: Oh, and this is a Work in Progress, so... Suggestions for what to do next would be greatly appreciated.

EDIT 2: My drums suck and the dotted notes riff was something I was going to use around like a pre-Chorus area that I haven't really worked in yet. Thus, why its seperated from the rest by dead silence.

EDIT3: Updated the file with some Section names, so "critters" ( ) don't have to go listing bar numbers.
Attachments:
myunfinishedsong_1.gp4
Last edited by CraZyB0y at Aug 4, 2009,
#3
the only thing that bugged me with this piece was the drums, they seem a little random at times. But that might just be me being picky seeing as I play drums, so I'll let you off with that.

the tremolo picked thing at the begining was a really good riff. opened the piece nicely.

the bit from bar 11 wasn't my cup of tea, but that might just be the weird drumming.

the bit in 7/4 sounded odd at first, i don't like how it randomly changes tempo, and i think the bass and the guitar in that riff clash a little. they're both playing decent parts, it's just they don't really mesh.

another tempo change back 180, maybe save the part at 200bpm for another song, it didn't really fit in there to be honest. the triplety riff at 37 was good, led into the riff at 40 very well. which was awesome by the way

i don't understand the little tremolo picked bit at the end, it sounded odd. but this is a work in progress, so i understand it might fit better in the context of an entire song.

sorry if i seemed a little harsh in points, i'm not a huge fan of this metalcore stuff, it's not bad, i just find alot of it boring and generic. but casting that aside - you've got the base of an awesome song here, keep it up

7/10
I deeply regret the 6661 in my username. Siiiigh. Damn you, 14 year old me, you edgy little bastard.
#4
Ill start off by saying you really need to work on your drumming or just not program them at all. Not at all trying to be rude just saying it as it is to me. If you'd like some help with them ill take this and work with some drums.


Intro was a fantastic, perfect phrasing.
Measure 11 is a good riff, sounds chorus-ish.
However I do NOT like the 5/4 transition, it doesn't fit.

In the 7/4 part, the first measure you did sounded good, the rest with the dotted quarter notes did not. Measure 37 should be a lead line to breakdown or something like that.

Absolutely loved the 5/4 part at the ending.

7/10 for guitar work only.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1174068
-Gear-
Mesa Triple Rectifier---Bogner/Line6 SpiderValve---Orange PPC 4x12

-Pedalboard/Rackmount-
Alesis MidiVerb4--BBE SonicMaximizer 442--Ibanez TS9
Boss DD-3--Morley Mark Tremonti Wah

-Guitars-
Ibanez ART-100
Ibanez S-470
#5
Thanks for the crits guys, keep them coming...

My dotted notes riff does suck same with my drums. To Carl, the tremolo riff at the end is going to be leading the song off in a different direction, before returning to another Verse. But, I haven't really put much effort into it yet...

Oh, and none of it was too harsh, its all good
Last edited by CraZyB0y at Aug 5, 2009,