#1
Just finished up another song and it definitely fits into this genre category this time lol. For some reason I'm kinda iffy about this song so I'd appreciate feedback more on this one than my previous one. I'll C4C as soon as I can to your responses.
Attachments:
Riffz 5.gp4
Riffz 5.mid
#3
i like it...why are you iffy about it?
also what sort of vocals do you have in mind? that could make or break it for me
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Cannibal Corpse transcend genres and stereotypes with their emotional and heartfelt take on music.
#4
I guess I'm just iffy because I'm not used to a song resorting back to the chorus so often, but then again I used to play metalcore which has billions of changing sections so I guess it'll be something I'll have to get used to lol. Vocalwise I was hoping for something along the lines of All Time Low or one of those bands; something sing-songy and catchy like them. I'm not writing the vocals for our band but that's just what I imagined as I wrote this.
#5
ok...but that's just part of the style, you know, "don't bore us, get to the chorus"
i think it works well
i know it's your song and i can't tell you what to do, but please don't go for the whiny pop-punk vocals...my personal preference would be more "snotty", along the lines of goldfinger, nofx, sum 41, offspring...anyway, you should let me know if you ever get a recorded version of the song
Quote by FlyingFuc!<
i read on the toilet.
sometimes i'm even on UG or AIM.
laptops + wireless = The Pit on the toilet.
Quote by RinestoneCowboy
Cannibal Corpse transcend genres and stereotypes with their emotional and heartfelt take on music.
#6
Hahaha I've never heard that line before, awesome. Yeah I understand, I like those bands a lot too. I'm just basing it off of what I imagine our singer being able to do the best, he doesn't really have the raspy aspect to his voice so he wouldn't be able to pull off the sum 41/Offspring kind of sound. I really appreciate your feedback though =D and I'll make sure to keep you posted on if we get some recordings done.
#7
Kinda happy punk song) Sounds cool to me. I like verse riff, break sounds good. Punx not dead)))
#8
its decent pop punk
i like the half time first and the lead guitar parts are good
break was decent, nice chords used here
build up does its job
i like the lead in the final chorus
its nothing mindblowing but pop punk never is. its a good song though, 8.5/10, a nice vocal melody in the chorus would do it the world of good though!
#9
I loved it.
It sounded great, and didn't get old or repetitive.
I think some Blink-182ish lyrics could complete the song for you.
If you wouldn't mind C4C, anything in the link in my sig would be great.
#10
I like it, very up-beat pop-punk. Reminds me a lot of when I first heard of Blink 182. Also got a little happy hardcore in there. Very nice. I don't have much for crits, it's a very simple song. I would like to hear a complete recording with lyrics please.
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Banned because.. that was brilliant, champayne


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#11
Thanks for the crits guys =D I appreciate the feedback, and I'll make sure to post a completed recording in this thread if we ever get around to it. And I'll crit your song in your sig right now Herby.
#12
Whew, I like this one. The first chord progression has been done to death, but oh well. I like the flat seventh chord you add it. The little lead line after it adds some nice flavor. I like the bass-break too. I also like the post-intro. The verse could be good with some really unique singing, but it's good right now, too. The chorus is obviously good. The next verse is pretty great, too. The break is just awesome. The drums aren't going crazy, which I like. So far, my favorite part. And I always love build-ups, so the next part's awesome, too. Reminds me a lot of Blink-182 in parts.

Pretty good, I don't have any complaints.

C4C? You said you'd like to see Tired of You finished, and well... It's pretty finished. For now, anyway.
#13
Intro was pretty good, pretty standard chord progression, but the lead guitar part really made the whole thing shine.

Pretty much everything is good up until the verse. That extra guitar just sounds off against the chords that you're rhythm is playing.

Second verse starts off a whole lot better than the first, but everything goes a little weird at bar 66. Bars 72-73 sound especially off to me.

Loved the break.

Chorus build was quite nice too, and the final chorus was a good way to end the song. The leads sounded a little strange to me, not bad, but they didn't quite sound right either. It sounded almost like the lead is a harmony instead of a main lead part or something. It's really strange.

There was a lot of outside stuff going on in it, and sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't, but overall it was still a good song.