#1
ok, i've come to the conclusion that i write better Blink-182esque songs, and you guys seem to like them more. so, here is another one.

-------------------------

i log on to my favorite chat
see your cam
i'm glad you're not fat

let's get this going now
talk dirty
and i'll ignore your unibrow
you bend over
and i just say wow
i really wish
you could shave that somehow

you have a pretty face
at least i think
you have a cute smile
but i wish you wouldn't blink

can you guess just where i am
lemme explain
i really am a man
it can't really be that small
maybe you're blind
would be no surprise at all

now i tell you i cast my spell
level 69
well that went well
put on
my wizard hat
i command
that you show me your back

let's get this going now
talk dirty
and i'll ignore your unibrow
you bend over
and i just say wow
i really wish
you could shave that somehow

i was wrong
but just how
did you do that
without saying ow

i log off
my world's upside down
i'll wait for tomorrow
to start another round

let's get this going now
talk dirty
and i'll ignore your unibrow
you bend over
and i just say wow
i really wish
you could shave that somehow
Last edited by zymn at Aug 4, 2009,
#2
I must admit, I was worried when you said blink182 esque (They're... alright. What really had me worried was that you seem to be basing your style off someone else's)
However, this proved pretty clever.
Some parts seemed too blunt, though, ie i really wish you could shave that somehow. If it works for you, then great, just be prepared to lose some audience to disgustion (not a real word, but it works).
Other than that, a pretty enjoyable read

If you would, click this ?
#3
I thought it was funny, clever, and told a fairly intersting and all to common story. Good work!!!
Too lazy to come up with a clever or relevant sig.
#5
I agree with PCADriven it was a good piece, and it was funny, I didnt really see any problems with it either, besides the unibrow/now/somehow anyway if you wouldnt mind criting my newest piece you suffer because your different there is a link in my sig
#6
yeah, i didn't notice that they all rhymed at first, then when i noticed i didn't really care much about it. i'll look into fixing it.