#1
This is something that I have been writing for a week or so, nothing special.
This is just a song to show my more Metal side of my music..
It isnt finished yet and I will take all crits, negative or positive.

Any Suggestions?

C4C just leave a link!
Attachments:
standard melodic riff.gp5
#3
It's pretty good. My suggestion is that the end of the main riff, the 9 10 12, change the values to something like triplets or 2 16ths and an 8th. It sounds kinda awkward as is. But I know what you were trying to do, I do it all of the time. If you want an example of it, check out this thread: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1177475

I also have a bog on my profile of songs that I've written for my band, feel free to check them out, as well. I always appreciate constructive criticism.
XBL GamerTag = IAmSentient6

My gear:
Ibanez Artist
ESP ltd Viper 200
Schecter Diamond 8

Amps:
Marhshall MG30 (for sale)
Line 6 Spider III Half Stack (mine forever)
Interested in Melodic Thrash Metal? ALUSTRIUM AND LAST NAIL DRIVEN!
#5
That was really nice for your first song posted, mine was an atrocity.

Anyways, I think you did really nice with the atmosphere of the song, with the drums and the rhythm guitar. One thing though, is that the first riff got a little old towards the end. The atmosphere and layering more things on top can't always keep it alive. I would take bars 17-24 out, or at least at a harmony and/or some kind of synth.

Otherwise, the rest was very nice, maybe touch up the drums a bit at bar 26 and on and maybe add some harmonies with the rhythm guitar.


C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1176502
My meh gear:
ESP LTD MH-400NT
Peavey Raptor Plus EXP
Digitech RP90
Digitech Bad Monkey
Electro-Harmonix Big Muff Pi (WTS)
Crate GT15 (SHIT)

GAS:
Peavey 6505 112 combo
MXR 10-band EQ
Ibanez TS-9
Boss HR-2
Compressor (open to suggestions)
#6
That was really good for your first song....the only thing is i didnt like the 9 10 12 part like the guy up there already mentioned...but for your first song, it was awesome...god, my first souunded like a 2 year old made it up...anyway, i like the harmonies you have going on...but i really friggin think the riff at 26 is one of the best riffs i've ever heard...i just love it...i think you should definetly finish it...


C4C? Its song 7 in my sig...thanks
#7
not to shabby man, kind of generic but its your first song. i especially liked the part starting at bar 26. i would agree about what the others said about that 9-10-12 thing. its kind of awkward. you should expand on the last part some more. i think the first riff was the weakest. the drums were well written too actually, some cool fills here and there.

c4c?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1173010
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