#1
Guys, before I even post the link, do NOT let this desintegrate into meaningless flaming like my last topic. I have taken time to mature a bit, and I will work with constructive criticism. On the crit, I actually have a few points that I want to ask for crit on.

Heartaches & Hand Grenades; Recording Date, January 2008. This song needs to be re-recorded, because there's more in there now. Was written in ten minutes.

Please Crit; Singing mostly. Is there melody? Could we be a bit clearer about the changes in pitch? More emotion? Different lyrics? Etc.


Eulogy Part 1; Recording Date, August 2009. Written as an intro track for Eulogy Part 1, not made to have riffs or be complex, just to set a dark mood for the heavy track that is currently being recorded.

Please crit; Guitar tone, playing level (solo was improvised), whether to add lyrics or keep the spoken word.

Half Life.
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Last edited by kirkwannabe at Aug 7, 2009,
#2
Still needs a ton of work. Regarding Eulogy: guitar tone is bad, which isn't made any better by the poor recording quality. A lot of the distorted leads were either out of key or out of tune or something..plus the whole radio recording/spoken word pieces over background music are a little played out.

For a band that describes themselves as hardcore/pop punk...that was a very...not hardcore/ pop punk intro.

Gear:
Agile AL-2000 > Maxon OD808 > Boss DD-20 > Strymon blueSky > Splawn Pro Stock > Emperor 4x12

the lives to come

#3
No one is going to give you sympathies for rushing the writing process of a song, or by 'improving' something rather than taking time to constructively put something together. Judging by your music, I just assume it's the extent of your writing abilities, not just an 'i rushed' excuse. The eulogy intro was just boring, not much more. Though, take pride in the fact you could probably put it in a Dream Theater song (And that's not a good thing from my perspective) Regardless, a spoken word, poor-quality 'song' isn't going to showcase anything about your band, so why it's even on the myspace is beyond me. I don't think anyone (even the thousands upon thousands who are diehard fans of Half-Life) would be like "Oh man! This song slays enough that I totally want to listen to the rest of their catalog!

The second song has horrible tone, drums are not only off, but sounds like they were recorded in a tin can by the worlds worst drummer (The drummer from TDWP possibly?)

The solo is COMPLETELY unnecessary, considering the song itself just sounds like a half-assed Grade 8 talent-show band. Seriously. It's mindless wank out of nowhere. Not even good wank, like the occasional jeff loomis solo. bad wank like walking in on your overweight father masturbating to horse-porn. I want to know what possessed adding it to the song. 8 year old on vocals, blah-blah, harsh-vocals are a whole other story, but, for the sake of how much it made me lol, I wont bother criticizing. Sad part was it was the silver lining to all the music (for the sake of my amusement)

seriously, thats as constructive as I can get. you need to spend more time sitting back and learning a thing or two from a professional teacher instead of shredding it up to thousands of loving fans daily. And maybe write a song that takes more than 10 minutes to write (Hell, even the one jonas brother said the one song only took him 15 minutes to write... And considering their music is about 5 minutes better than yours... Makes sense). You wonder why no one likes you're ('Oh, fourth fourth, fifth, fourth modulated fourth') BS, this is the reason. It took Cynic upwards of 15 years to release a second album, it doesn't come close to comparing to the first. For the amount of time you spent defending how able you are as a musician, you sure haven't proven yourself at all

I am not one to be hard on musicians of any kind. I appreciate all musicians, all ages, and I don't care. If someone wants to play, more power to 'em. It's when their head couldn't fit inside Paris Hilton's snatch that I got upset. Shawn Lane showboated all the time without even realizing it, but he was the best guitarist who lived, so its forgivable. Once you start playing at that calibur, you can start making up all the excuses and stories in the world. Until then... no
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Last edited by Mr. Hand at Aug 7, 2009,
#4
eh.. needs some work.
heartaches and handgrenades: biggest problems are the drums and the screaming vocals in the background. the screaming vocals are completely unnescesary. honestly i think that you should turn the distiortion down a lot and slow down the tempo.

eulogy: eh it was alright. not grade a but its not terrible.

over all your not that bad.
it needs work but youre very young and you have lots of time to improve

if you get time could u check out my band?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1133087