#1
My love for you is like old Telecom rope.
It’s unbreakable, will last forever;
Everyone knows it always holds.
But it’s old,
It’s faded,
And let’s face it, it’s dead.



Whoa, that was a quickie. I got hit on head by a random idea, started writing and BAM!, 30 seconds later I had this. This was pretty much instantaneous, I'd say it'd want some work, but I just thought I'd put it up here.
Cheers
He likes Keats but she's into Yeats - it's a matter of Romance

E-Mistress to UG's Finest Gentleman


Come away, oh human child,
To the waters and the wild
With a fairy hand in hand;
For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.
#2
This was quite elequent and intense.

My love for you is like old Telecom rope.
It’s unbreakable, will last forever;
Beautiful. Really simple and to the point.
Everyone knows it always holds.
This has a very soft ring to it. In a way, it's irksome. In another, it gives it character. I don't know what to think of it. With a piece as small and dainty as this, each line needs to be compacted and perfect. It's so easy to let fall apart.

But it’s old,
It’s faded,
Maybe this doesn't need a line break? Simply, But it's old and it's faded.
And let’s face it, it’s dead.
The conversational manner here is not necessarily needed, but does add a rough and cynical edge. The two "it's" beside each other is a little clumsy, though.

I'd say, with a little tampering this could be very, very good. As is, it seems too on-the-spot to be really cherished.