"so uh...you nervous or what?"

nah i've done it a million times.

"man i just want a job, you know?
haha, i guess times really are gettin' pretty rough."


two weeks ago, i felt inclined
to send my resume several different places
and see if any new, better-paying, doors open.
i landed an interview at a chemical factory,
and was waiting (along with fifteen others)
to be called back to a tiny conference room
so that human resources could examine
my qualifications.
avoiding small-talk in these places is
nearly impossible.

"you from around here?"

um, Hurricane...about 25 minutes up I-79.

"oh okay, i got some buddies that live around there."

*a lady steps out of the room and announces a ten minute break*

"ay man, you smoke? i mean, get high?"

ahh, used to.
you realize they do pre-employment drug screens here, right?

"aww shit man, i got that covered, haha!
yo i'll see ya in ten man."

uh, cool.

once interviews were over,
the few picked for employment were immediately
sent to a facility to undergo a urine test,
me and this other guy included.
he sat down right next to me,
sweat pouring from his forehead
over his bloodshot eyes.

*Mr. Woody, are you ready?*

"yes ma'am, I....oh no!!"

winding down and
out of the pant-bottoms, onto his shoes;
the piss stunk heavily and
reminded me of melted butter as it
spread across the floor of the
waiting room.

*whisperwhisperoh my God how embarrassingwhisperblahblah.*

he didn't piss himself.
the condom filled with clean urine he'd
tucked-up under his balls, popped.
i fucking laughed so hard i
almost pissed myself.

this world shows no mercy.
There's a road that leads to the end of all suffering. You should take it.

- Jericho Caine

secret, aaaaagent maaan.
secret, aaaaagent maaan.
Last edited by ottoavist at Aug 9, 2009,
Ummmm....ummmmmm....wow?? Very interesting and funny, and interestingly styled. The middle is a little sketchy, and the "yep" and the "uh cool" are good seperaters. 4outof5.
Too lazy to come up with a clever or relevant sig.
I was a bit worried about this one. It felt too much straight and too the point. But the ending had your usual punch, I just don't know if it was enough to save the piece. Lacked your usual brilliance, sorry, Kent.
I-79 runs right over my house

I enjoyed this. I think the long winded set up made the shock ending work a little more effectively. Good, not stunning, but I liked it.
Anatomy Anatomy
Whale Blue Review

Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me
^ must be a busy house.

i enjoyed reading about the character here. the way he seemed like a nice, quiet, mannerly young man looking for his place in this world, but is actually just a bloke who thought justice was funny. pretty damn evil, i must say - in the good sense.

solid read, mate.
This started off really bland for me, which is weird, because usually your pieces have an incredible punch. The structure was unique, which kept me reading. And the end was hilarious. If anything, it saved the piece, because the rest was very meh. On the other hand, the anticlimactic way you built it up made the ending all that much more effective.

Pretty good.