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#1
*if you know the story of king midas, which 99percent of you will, then skip to the bottom of my post*


Many years ago there lived a king named Midas.

King Midas had one little daughter, whose name was Marigold.

King Midas was very, very rich. It was said that he had more gold than any other king in the world.

One room of his great castle was almost filled with yellow gold pieces.

At last the King grew so fond of his gold that he loved it better than anything else in all the world.

He even loved it better than his own little daughter, dear little rosy-cheeked Marigold. His one great wish seemed to be for more and more gold.

One day while he was in his gold room counting his money, a beautiful fairy boy stood before him.

The boy's face shone with a wonderful light, and he had wings on his cap and wings on his feet. In his hand he carried a strange-looking wand, and the wand also had wings.

"Midas, you are the richest man in the world," said the fairy. "There is no King who has so much gold as you."

"That may be," said the King. "As you see, I have this room full of gold, but I should like much more; for gold is the best and the most wonderful thing in the world."

"Are you sure?" asked the fairy.

"I am very sure," answered the King.

"If I should grant you one wish," said the fairy, "would you ask for more gold?"

"If I could have but one wish," said the King, "I would ask that everything I touch should turn to beautiful yellow gold."

"Your wish shall be granted," said the fairy. "At sunrise to-morrow morning your slightest touch will turn everything into gold. But I warn you that your gift will not make you happy."

"I will take the risk," said the King.

The next day King Midas awoke very early. He was eager to see if the fairy's promise had come true.

As soon as the sun arose he tried the gift by touching the bed lightly with his hand.


The bed turned to gold.

He touched the chair and table.

Upon the instant they were turned to solid gold.

The King was wild with joy.

He ran around the room, touching everything he could see. His magic gift turned all to shining, yellow gold.

The King soon felt hungry and went down to eat his breakfast. Now a strange thing happened. When he raised a glass of clear cold water to drink, it became solid gold.

Not a drop of water could pass his lips.

The bread turned to gold under his fingers.

The meat was hard, and yellow, and shiny.

Not a thing could he get to eat.

All was gold, gold, gold.

His little daughter came running in from the garden.

Of all living creatures she was the dearest to him.

He touched her with his lips.

At once the little girl was changed to a golden statue.


A great fear crept into the King's heart, sweeping all the joy out of his life.

In his grief he called and called upon the fairy who had given him the gift of the golden touch.

"O fairy," he begged, "take away this horrible golden gift! Take all my lands. Take all my gold. Take everything, only give me back my little daughter."

In a moment the beautiful fairy was standing before him.

"Do you still think that gold is the greatest thing in the world?" asked the fairy.

"No! no!" cried the King. "I hate the very sight of the yellow stuff."

"Are you sure that you no longer wish the golden touch?" asked the fairy.

"I have learned my lesson," said the King. "I no longer think gold the greatest thing in the world."

"Very well," said the fairy, "take this pitcher to the spring in the garden and fill it with water. Then sprinkle those things which you have touched and turned to gold."

The King took the pitcher and rushed to the spring. Running back he first sprinkled the head of his dear little girl. Instantly she became his own darling Marigold again, and gave him a kiss.

The King sprinkled the golden food, and to his great joy it turned back to real bread and real butter.

Then he and his little daughter sat down to breakfast. How good the cold water tasted! How eagerly the hungry King ate the bread and butter, the meat, and all the good food!

The King hated his golden touch so much that he sprinkled even the chairs and the tables and everything else that the fairy's gift had turned to gold.



SO PIT, what would happen if king midas touched himself? Why, during the course of the story, did he never masturbate or bother to pick his nose?
#2
dude my haaaaands... they're huge! they can touch anything but themselves.. oh wait


*cookie for whoever get that*
#3
futurama.

Luur

"I think there was something funny in that hippy"
Quote by GLP_Arclite
Pooping is well good though, to be fair.


I've got a handle on the fiction.

I'm losing my grip, 'cos I'm losing my fingers.
#4
Quote by CoreysMonster
dude my haaaaands... they're huge! they can touch anything but themselves.. oh wait


*cookie for whoever get that*


Futurama reference?

I imagine he'd be the man with golden c*ck TS,That being said,he was a king,he had other people to do his c*ck holding and nose picking for him.

WARNING!: THIS USER HAS BEEN KNOWN TO BE AN OPINIONATED ASS. ALWAYS USE CAUTION WHEN READING POSTS AND NEVER USE NEAR AN OPEN FLAME.USE ONLY AS DIRECTED.KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN.







#5
It wouldn't work on himself, obviously. Otherwise he would have immediately turned to gold since parts of him would always be touching parts of him.


If he did jack it, though, the cum might have turned gold. Or maybe not, since his spit or shit or piss apparently didn't.
kill all humans
#7
lol Goldmember,

Why would he need to masturbate when he had his daughter around though
Quote by lambofgod127
btw im in hs and im almost 18 so if u do think she was flirting with me dont say that its wrong im almost a grown man.




༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ WE ARE ROB ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽
#8
i was expecting an 'if you could have one wish' thread, oh
i expect the king would be immune to himself, due to parts of his body being already touching. Imagine the toilet troubles; it'd be coming out of him like a golden cable, quite literally!
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#10
Quote by CoreysMonster
(Invalid img)


Nom nom nom
Quote by GLP_Arclite
Pooping is well good though, to be fair.


I've got a handle on the fiction.

I'm losing my grip, 'cos I'm losing my fingers.
#11
Quote by Robbbbb
i was expecting an 'if you could have one wish' thread, oh
i expect the king would be immune to himself, due to parts of his body being already touching. Imagine the toilet troubles; it'd be coming out of him like a golden cable, quite literally!


Picture this.

He goes to the bathroom to take a shiit.
He is finishing up.
He grabs the paper towl and attempts to wipe his ass.
Alas! The toiletpaper is hard gold! He would massacre his butthole.
#12
Guess I'm in the 1% who haven't read it
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When it comes to practicing, I would spend about 63 hours a day
#13
Quote by Steeze
Picture this.

He goes to the bathroom to take a shiit.
He is finishing up.
He grabs the paper towl and attempts to wipe his ass.
Alas! The toiletpaper is hard gold! He would massacre his butthole.

...or he could just use his other hand.
#14
Quote by Steeze
Picture this.

He goes to the bathroom to take a shiit.
He is finishing up.
He grabs the paper towl and attempts to wipe his ass.
Alas! The toiletpaper is hard gold! He would massacre his butthole.

hahahaha, that was just funny
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#15
Quote by Steeze
*if you know the story of king midas, which 99percent of you will, then skip to the bottom of my post*


Many years ago there lived a king named Midas.

King Midas had one little daughter, whose name was Marigold.

King Midas was very, very rich. It was said that he had more gold than any other king in the world.

One room of his great castle was almost filled with yellow gold pieces.

At last the King grew so fond of his gold that he loved it better than anything else in all the world.

He even loved it better than his own little daughter, dear little rosy-cheeked Marigold. His one great wish seemed to be for more and more gold.

One day while he was in his gold room counting his money, a beautiful fairy boy stood before him.

The boy's face shone with a wonderful light, and he had wings on his cap and wings on his feet. In his hand he carried a strange-looking wand, and the wand also had wings.

"Midas, you are the richest man in the world," said the fairy. "There is no King who has so much gold as you."

"That may be," said the King. "As you see, I have this room full of gold, but I should like much more; for gold is the best and the most wonderful thing in the world."

"Are you sure?" asked the fairy.

"I am very sure," answered the King.

"If I should grant you one wish," said the fairy, "would you ask for more gold?"

"If I could have but one wish," said the King, "I would ask that everything I touch should turn to beautiful yellow gold."

"Your wish shall be granted," said the fairy. "At sunrise to-morrow morning your slightest touch will turn everything into gold. But I warn you that your gift will not make you happy."

"I will take the risk," said the King.

The next day King Midas awoke very early. He was eager to see if the fairy's promise had come true.

As soon as the sun arose he tried the gift by touching the bed lightly with his hand.


The bed turned to gold.

He touched the chair and table.

Upon the instant they were turned to solid gold.

The King was wild with joy.

He ran around the room, touching everything he could see. His magic gift turned all to shining, yellow gold.

The King soon felt hungry and went down to eat his breakfast. Now a strange thing happened. When he raised a glass of clear cold water to drink, it became solid gold.

Not a drop of water could pass his lips.

The bread turned to gold under his fingers.

The meat was hard, and yellow, and shiny.

Not a thing could he get to eat.

All was gold, gold, gold.

His little daughter came running in from the garden.

Of all living creatures she was the dearest to him.

He touched her with his lips.

At once the little girl was changed to a golden statue.


A great fear crept into the King's heart, sweeping all the joy out of his life.

In his grief he called and called upon the fairy who had given him the gift of the golden touch.

"O fairy," he begged, "take away this horrible golden gift! Take all my lands. Take all my gold. Take everything, only give me back my little daughter."

In a moment the beautiful fairy was standing before him.

"Do you still think that gold is the greatest thing in the world?" asked the fairy.

"No! no!" cried the King. "I hate the very sight of the yellow stuff."

"Are you sure that you no longer wish the golden touch?" asked the fairy.

"I have learned my lesson," said the King. "I no longer think gold the greatest thing in the world."

"Very well," said the fairy, "take this pitcher to the spring in the garden and fill it with water. Then sprinkle those things which you have touched and turned to gold."

The King took the pitcher and rushed to the spring. Running back he first sprinkled the head of his dear little girl. Instantly she became his own darling Marigold again, and gave him a kiss.

The King sprinkled the golden food, and to his great joy it turned back to real bread and real butter.

Then he and his little daughter sat down to breakfast. How good the cold water tasted! How eagerly the hungry King ate the bread and butter, the meat, and all the good food!

The King hated his golden touch so much that he sprinkled even the chairs and the tables and everything else that the fairy's gift had turned to gold.



SO PIT, what would happen if king midas touched himself? Why, during the course of the story, did he never masturbate or bother to pick his nose?



ina different version of the story he did touch himself and he went bye bye
#17
Why quote the whole story??
Quote by lambofgod127
btw im in hs and im almost 18 so if u do think she was flirting with me dont say that its wrong im almost a grown man.




༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ WE ARE ROB ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽
#18
Quote by Steeze


SO PIT, what would happen if king midas touched himself? Why, during the course of the story, did he never masturbate or bother to pick his nose?


Because if we have learnt anything from superheroes, YOUR power doesn't affect YOURself

people with pyrokenisis can't burn
people with ice powers can't freeze

etc
etc
#20
IF the king touched himself, nothing would happen. Hope it helped.

/Thread
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^
#21
Quote by Steeze
*if you know the story of king midas, which 99percent of you will, then skip to the bottom of my post*


You have the legend wrong, it wasn't a fairy who granted the wish, it was Dionysus, Greek god of the life force, in return for Midas caring for and giving hospitality to a satyr called Silenus who was actualy Dionysus' surrogate father.
Dionysus granted him one wish. Midas wished that everything he touched be turned to gold. Dionysus warned him about the dangers of such a wish, but Midas was too distracted with his own greed and the prospect of being surrounded by gold to listen.
In the original version, his daughter was killed by the gift, there was no 'bringing her back to life' with a sprinkle of water. She was gone, never to return, which broke Midas' heart and truly made him realize the depth of his mistake.
He pleaded to Dionysus for help. Dionysus instructed Midas to bathe in the headwaters of the Pactolus River, which would wash away the golden touch, so he did this and the gold settled in the sands of the river which explains why the Pactolus River is rich with gold today.
This legend has a few common motifs in Greek mythology. Firstly it's moralistic and comes with a warning, Midas let his greed blind him to the future.
Child sacrifice is a frequent theme in Dionysian myths. Frequently, Dionysus would punish mortals indirectly by having them kill their own children. King Midas kills his daughter by turning her to gold. He pays for his greed.
Midas became known for his stupidity and there were several legends about him, another tells of his offending Apollo by claiming that Pan was a better musician, for which Apollo turned his ears into donkey's ears, which resulted in Midas trying to keep his deformity a secret, his secret eventualy coming out and Midas running away, never to be heard of again.
The whole life story of Midas is basicaly a warning, don't be stupid, don't be greedy and don't upset the gods or your entire life will be ruined and you will lose everything that you hold dear to you.
#22
Quote by SlackerBabbath
you will lose everything that you hold dear to you.


I would lose my **** then
Quote by lambofgod127
btw im in hs and im almost 18 so if u do think she was flirting with me dont say that its wrong im almost a grown man.




༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ WE ARE ROB ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽
#24
I would lose my c0ck then
Quote by lambofgod127
btw im in hs and im almost 18 so if u do think she was flirting with me dont say that its wrong im almost a grown man.




༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ WE ARE ROB ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽
#25
Quote by slash_GNR666
I would lose my c0ck then


Yes, if your penis is your most treasured possesion, and if Greek gods existed, and if you pissed them off, then you would more than likely lose it.
#26


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Last edited by fearofthemark at Aug 10, 2009,
#29
Quote by fearofthemark



I think this.
Though he may or may not have developed a Dutch accent.
#30
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My Dick Would Turn Gold

Midas

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


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#31
You know, reading that story as an adult now ... the moral has changed.

It's not that greed will bring you unhappiness

it's that fairys are total bitches.
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#33
Quote by CoreysMonster
dude my haaaaands... they're huge! they can touch anything but themselves.. oh wait


*cookie for whoever get that*


haha that was the episode with the alien that ate the hippie right?
DECRESCENDO
#35
Quote by slash_GNR666
lol Goldmember,

Why would he need to masturbate when he had his daughter around though


WAT.

EDIT

Quote by SlackerBabbath
You have the legend wrong, it wasn't a fairy who granted the wish, it was Dionysus, Greek god of the life force, in return for Midas caring for and giving hospitality to a satyr called Silenus who was actualy Dionysus' surrogate father.
Dionysus granted him one wish. Midas wished that everything he touched be turned to gold. Dionysus warned him about the dangers of such a wish, but Midas was too distracted with his own greed and the prospect of being surrounded by gold to listen.
In the original version, his daughter was killed by the gift, there was no 'bringing her back to life' with a sprinkle of water. She was gone, never to return, which broke Midas' heart and truly made him realize the depth of his mistake.
He pleaded to Dionysus for help. Dionysus instructed Midas to bathe in the headwaters of the Pactolus River, which would wash away the golden touch, so he did this and the gold settled in the sands of the river which explains why the Pactolus River is rich with gold today.
This legend has a few common motifs in Greek mythology. Firstly it's moralistic and comes with a warning, Midas let his greed blind him to the future.
Child sacrifice is a frequent theme in Dionysian myths. Frequently, Dionysus would punish mortals indirectly by having them kill their own children. King Midas kills his daughter by turning her to gold. He pays for his greed.
Midas became known for his stupidity and there were several legends about him, another tells of his offending Apollo by claiming that Pan was a better musician, for which Apollo turned his ears into donkey's ears, which resulted in Midas trying to keep his deformity a secret, his secret eventualy coming out and Midas running away, never to be heard of again.
The whole life story of Midas is basicaly a warning, don't be stupid, don't be greedy and don't upset the gods or your entire life will be ruined and you will lose everything that you hold dear to you.


I thought Dyonysus was the God of wine and parties?
Last edited by MOODY17 at Aug 12, 2009,
#36
well, remember that guy from the 3rd austin powers movie


edit: ^^^dammit
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#38
Quote by MOODY17

I thought Dyonysus was the God of wine and parties?

He was, as well as the god of the life force.
Y'see, the notions of pantheon gods were constantly changing, they'd start off as the god of something then later they'd be developed into the god of something else, so you end up with all sorts of weird mixtures. Athena for instance is the goddess of wisdom, peace, warfare, strategy, handicrafts and reason. Some of those we would consider as being total opposites especialy peace and warfare.

Dionysus obviously has connections with the grape vine, a plant that was often associated with life in the ancient world.
In the Thracian mysteries, he wears the "bassaris" or fox-skin, which symbolizes new life. Infact many scholars believe that Dionysus is a syncretism of a Greek nature deity and a more powerful creator god from Thrace or Phrygia such as Sabazios.
Of course a creator deity obviously connects with a life force, but so too does a nature deity. Another name for a nature deity is a fertility god/goddess, (the Mother Goddess is a good example of this) which were aften considered to be the life force itself.
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