#1
This could produce some 'lulz'...


So, you're sat on the train(or bus or whatever), staring out the window when all of a sudden, out of the ambient noise a conversation catches your ears.


There were some scum on the train the other day (they are usually good for 'interesting' conversation), out of the swearing and generally uneducated twoddle came the following gem:

"You ain't got a job.'

'Neither have you'

'Yeah but I'm at school... and pregnant"




Post the strange conversations that you've overheard - From the bizzare to the hilarious.

GO!
#2
Mom: Let's go. We're going to be late
Dad: Hold on, i forgot the dildo


I still have no clue if he in fact said dildo or not, but it sure as hell sounded like it.
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Last edited by angusfan16 at Aug 11, 2009,
#3
While I was talking with my friends and walked away for a second, and when I came back all I heard was "going to a gay orgy on a bus".
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#4
Some stand up guy was telling about how he heard the last line of a conversation in a bus, which was 'Not with one leg you ain't.'
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#5
I actually like to start the odd conversations. Like, as people walk by on the street some friends and I would discuss very awkward things just for fun. Hoping people would hear us.

For example.

*old lady walking down the street*
Friend: So anyway, she picked up the dildo right? And she was like "Now it's my turn to fuck YOUR bum."
*old lady walks faster*
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MyNameIsLame just nailed it (actually both his statements did some nailing).


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^^ Directed at me. E-peen wankery sigs ftw.

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#6
I walked past some people at school

Guy1: I'm gonna just take my sister because she is pretty hot
Guy2: ah cool

...
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Which is annoying, cos I'm a girl and I like cock.

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Being an idiot should be illegal too.
#7
Guy 1 : I heard Wolves suck.

Guy 2 : Yeah, I know.

Guy 3 : The guy listening to us is really cool.
#8
didn't understand what they were saying but when i was on the bus the other day there were a group of french kids talking loudly. My ipod died before the ride so i was forced to over gibberish for 45 mins. fml
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#9
My friend's dad told me when he was in line for Star Wars Episode III, he heard two guys arguing ehind him about the wattage of the pulse rifle, and whether or not the force powers light sabers.
#12
Guy 1: I love Grand Theft Auto: IV. I put the vibrating controller to my dick when I go to the strip club in Liberty City

Guy 2: THAT'S AWESOME!!!


>_>"
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#13
Quote by Don_Humpador
Guy 1 : I heard Wolves suck.

Guy 2 : Yeah, I know.

Guy 3 : The guy listening to us is really cool.


oh, u
#15
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'I know, buy him a book for his birthday!'
'Yeah but he's got one of those already...'

funniest thing I've seen in the pit for awhile
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Quote by OddOneOut
I seem to attract girls.
Which is annoying, cos I'm a girl and I like cock.

Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
Being an idiot should be illegal too.
#16
I spent 5 minutes listening to a chavette complaining about a lesbian who "assaulted" a woman in some public toilets. When she cooled down a bit, there was a moment's silence before she said "I'd still shag her, though"
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#17
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oh, u


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#18
*sitting in my girlfriends living room*

*in the other room with her friend*
friend: hi! what are you doin?
girlfriend: shh!
*quieter*
friend: so what's up?
girlfriend: i'm trying to figure out a way to break up with sean..



i needs a hug. yesterday was suppposed to be a good day too. i just started work.
Free at last! Free at last! God Almighty FREE AT LAST!
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#19
Quote by Astorga
*sitting in my girlfriends living room*

*in the other room with her friend*
friend: hi! what are you doin?
girlfriend: shh!
*quieter*
friend: so what's up?
girlfriend: i'm trying to figure out a way to break up with sean..



i needs a hug. yesterday was suppposed to be a good day too. i just started work.




2nd hug of the thread..
#20
Quote by Astorga
*sitting in my girlfriends living room*

*in the other room with her friend*
friend: hi! what are you doin?
girlfriend: shh!
*quieter*
friend: so what's up?
girlfriend: i'm trying to figure out a way to break up with sean..



i needs a hug. yesterday was suppposed to be a good day too. i just started work.

That sucks man.

I would contribute as I always come in on conversations at the wrong time, but I can't remember any
#21
A friend of mine walked into a movie theater bathroom and overheard a man on the phone talking about "How great that crack was last night..." Minutes after he left, police rushed into the bathroom and came out with the man in handcuffs.
#23
Two women probably early twenties both had babies in strollers and their conversation went something like this

Women 1: So are you still breast feeding him?
Women 2: Nah he started biting on my nipple....
#26
*Drunk man wanders into a pizza place*
"Are you aloud to smoke in here?" Saying this while he is halfway through a cigarettes"
Pizza Guy - "No"
Girl - "Is that the guy you tried to stab with a butchers knife"
Pizza Guy - "No, he was the guy I hit over the head with the baseball bat"
#27
Quote by Duffman123
*Drunk man wanders into a pizza place*
"Are you aloud to smoke in here?" Saying this while he is halfway through a cigarettes"
Pizza Guy - "No"
Girl - "Is that the guy you tried to stab with a butchers knife"
Pizza Guy - "No, he was the guy I hit over the head with the baseball bat"


Haha... Just reminded me of a character from some scummy pub we went into once while we were underage.

Can't remember the exact conversation, but it involved a rather scary looking woman telling us about the time she stabbed someone in the head
#28
Quote by Craigo
'I know, buy him a book for his birthday!'
'Yeah but he's got one of those already...'



"Well, she was already dead when I did it to her so, it's not like she knew it was happening"

Turned out to be Halo
#29
".....You know, i've never seen your dad without pants on"



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#30
Quote by AlecMag
".....You know, i've never seen your dad without pants on"



Blog Of Awesome UGers.
Quote by OddOneOut
I seem to attract girls.
Which is annoying, cos I'm a girl and I like cock.

Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
Being an idiot should be illegal too.
#31
i was at the chinese buffet the other day and...

"what's that state right next to wyoming?"

"uh... rhode island?"

"yea... that one... "
"... and on either side of the river was the tree of life, with its twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit each month. The leaves of this tree were for the healing of nations.
#32
While standing in line at Newark Airport in the "US Passports" customs line:

"This is a long line, huh?"
"Yeah, I hope I'm not waiting here for nothing."
"Why?"
"Well, I don't know if this is the right line. You see, I was born and live in America, and have an American passport, but I'm one fourth Italian, so..."

This is after spending a year in a country where I can't understand the language, and therefore have grown accustomed to not noticing the stupidity of some people.
#33
When i was waiting with a friend in a bus stop

friend "well i actually quite like foot jobs"

then this old man went slowly by with a walking stick taking ages looking disgusted
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#34
Quote by The Horror!


"Well, she was already dead when I did it to her so, it's not like she knew it was happening"

Turned out to be Halo

"So there I was, standing in the middle of a field with a warthog coming right for me, then I see a banshee with a ghost coming from the other direction. As soon as I run for cover, a sniper headshots me"

It wasn't until the last sentence that I realised he was talking about Halo
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i think this is my favorite post of the day

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You ****ing pwn.

Awesome, dude, just awesome.
#35
well i was the source oh the conversation. i was walking down the hall

me: dude im going to try and get my girlfriend to go for a bathroom quickie tonight. im going to need some help distracting her brother for awhile.
him: haha allright

thhen a preppy girl turned around and gave me a what the **** look
#36
i was in the toilets and there was this guy in one of the cubicles. it wasnt really a conversation but he just went ARRGH and did a massive ****. i walked out
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