#1
http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/xHellbound/music/all/play678470

I took the advice from my last thread and revamped the drums. And no more midi bass, I finally got a real bass, and did the best I could for only 1 day of playing.

I'm working on lyrics, I got.. 2 lines!

Rise (x8)

The fallen have risen, it's their time to come
Ascending from Hell, the game has begun


The vocal line is similar to that of Run to the Hills now that I think about it.
Last edited by xHellbound at Aug 11, 2009,
#3
i like the intro. your bass playing isn't really that bad haha. you follow the guitar line pretty closely, but that's fairly common for metal/hard rock. i liked the guitar, but i thought your tone was a bit off. it's kinda fuzzy and could be alot smoother. i like the clean guitar with soloish stuff over it. very nice.

crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1180165
Too cool for a signature.
#4
i like the clean guitar with soloish stuff over it. very nice.

I wrote that part out in Guitar Pro originally, and I was like, "holy crap, I'm never going to be able to play this!!" But, after some practice, it's actually really fun to play.
#6
cool man. i loved the tone. those lyrics seem to fit perfect with this song. make it about a game and killing and whatnot. like a doomsday kinda theme. that was deep man. very cool. i normaly dont dig this kind of stuff but that was great. nice job. i cant wait to hear it when the lyrics are done and sung. great guitar playing./

c4c? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1180789
#7
Thanks for the crits guys. There weren't 5 drum comments this time around, so I guess I did a good job.

When I re-record, I'll probably experiment with some different lead tones. And I have some harmony for the solo that I didn't add in yet.
#8
Nice mate, the intro is good with the changing between half time and whatnot; definitely makes it interesting! I would say though that you could work on the lead part to make it fit a touch better with the chords. It is effective nonetheless, but yeah just would improve it.

Love the cleans! Makes for a great change, tone is nice man. The riff over the top is great and fits perfectly with the drums. Solo has some sweet licks man, again, definitely make sure you learn your scales and this will make your badass factor skyrocket.

Nice riffs and cleans, drums sound good (could be a touch louder maybe?) and well structured to keep it interesting. Nice job!

Here's my latest, Hope you enjoy it!
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=21163647#post21163647
"I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think 'Ah man, I'm James Blunt'"
#9
Quote by Hot Pants
Solo has some sweet licks man, again, definitely make sure you learn your scales and this will make your badass factor skyrocket


*facepalm* I wrote the song a long time ago and somehow didn't realize (now that I know a little more about scales/keys) that the rhythm didn't fit the solo. It's already fixed, now I just have to record it.
#10
It reminded me of Black Sabbath and, seeing as you have a ton of Sabbath covers, I see could hear that influence well.

The guitar could be cleaned up. Right now it's very fuzzy and not very clear. The drums need to be louder. Some riffs should be repeated fewer times like a bit before the three minute mark. But the riffs are nice!
WARNING:This post contains explicit portrayals of violence; sex; violent sex; sexual violence; clowns and violent scenes of violent excess, which are definitely not suitable for all audiences.
#11
Hey man, I like the sound of the bass in your mix, so good job for one day! I also just picked up a bass for the first time yesterday.

I like the sludgy doom-style riffs. The clean parts are sweet. The part that starts at 1:20 is pretty awesome and atmospheric, and nice pick slide afterward!

Critiques: On some parts, I would play the bass a bit more quickly to match the tempo of the riffs. The guitar sound is perhaps a bit too high-gain for my tastes, which makes it sound a little on the noisy side sometimes. On the other hand, I think it sounds great for the more doomy, sludgy parts.

Good composition, overall. Nice work!

Could you take a look at my most recent song?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1183323

Mike
Want to know how Bob Dylan, R.E.M., Pink Floyd, Metallica, Mastodon, Opeth, Emperor, Meshuggah (and many more) make music?
Check out my songwriting quotes page: http://miketuritzin.com/songwriting/
#12
I really like that intro. The riff that comes after was alright, but I really like that clean section after that riff. Nice guitar solo in there as well.
Your bss playing gets the job done too
I liked how you brought the intro back at the very end ~ 2:57, I really like that riff, i think thats my favorite part of the song.
It would be cool to hear this with some vocals, I looked at your lyrics you're working on, and after you mention run to the hills, all i can think about is bruce singing them Even though its only 2 lines, at least its something,, I personally hate writing lyrics for songs.
But overall this was a well written song, i would like to hear with some vocals.
If you could take a look at my latest i would appreciate:
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1181039