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#1
Basically, I'd like to hear some of your tales of pure brilliance in unorthodox situations, be the actions performed by yourself or a friend.

For example, my addition (happened to a friend):

My friend was having some issues with his girlfriend and the tension was steadily rising. One day, she says to him "You could never understand the friendship between me and (her best friend). We've been friends for six years." Naturally, this ticks my friend off. The next day, while he is talking to his girlfriend, his other friend walks by and shouts, "Hey, man. Friends for eleven years, today!"

To this day, he has no idea how the other friend knew about her statement.
If 4 more people tell me to go back to writing The Vanishing Point, I will.


UG's Commie Pinko Bedwetter
#2
Well two of my friends were arguing about some stupid thing that I knew nothing about and I honestly felt that they were going to end up fighting.I then realized that I had lost the game.
"This is Sierra-259, you got Spartans on the ground, sir. We're not going anywhere."

Fender Partscaster

Vox AC4TV

Korg Pitchblack Tuner
TC Electronics Nova Repeater
Electro Harmonix Big Muff Pi
MXR Micro Amp
EH Holy Grail Reverb
#3
Potentially epic thread.

I can't think of any at the moment... will edit shortly.
daytripper75

Bullieve


Quote by Amuro Jay
I'm gonna need specific instructions again on how to properly dance with my pants on my head.
Quote by lolmnt
First you put your pants on your head.
Second you dance.
Third you wipe off all the pussy.
#4
Quote by NewsoftheWorld
Well two of my friends were arguing about some stupid thing that I knew nothing about and I honestly felt that they were going to end up fighting.I then realized that I had lost the game.


where that guy with "the game" sig? I hate him it totally ruins the whole point of the game.
Honeybiscuit is here.
#5
i dunno if this counts..
i made a cd for my football team last year.

one of the songs was duality,
but halfway through the song i edited in 'never gonna give you up'

multiple lulz
Free at last! Free at last! God Almighty FREE AT LAST!
I Pan-Tallica
#8
Quote by 310320
Basically, I'd like to hear some of your tales of pure brilliance in unorthodox situations, be the actions performed by yourself or a friend.

For example, my addition (happened to a friend):

My friend was having some issues with his girlfriend and the tension was steadily rising. One day, she says to him "You could never understand the friendship between me and (her best friend). We've been friends for six years." Naturally, this ticks my friend off. The next day, while he is talking to his girlfriend, his other friend walks by and shouts, "Hey, man. Friends for eleven years, today!"

To this day, he has no idea how the other friend knew about her statement.


That is fucking awesome
"Most people are trying to simplify the world. We're definitely here to complicate it." - Dad
Quote by RocksAwakening5
I you for posting this.

<-- Pretty much sums me up

8/7/09


^ I was there
#9
I briefly considered posting in the giraffe sex thread.

And then thought better. Brilliant!
The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.

Quote by ac/dc_freak91
Sweet! Thank you good sir, you've saved my ass!


#10
Quote by Astorga
i dunno if this counts..
i made a cd for my football team last year.

one of the songs was duality,
but halfway through the song i edited in 'never gonna give you up'

multiple lulz





That sounds magical, yet Epic.

Quote by julioman
I briefly considered posting in the giraffe sex thread.

And then thought better. Brilliant!

daytripper75

Bullieve


Quote by Amuro Jay
I'm gonna need specific instructions again on how to properly dance with my pants on my head.
Quote by lolmnt
First you put your pants on your head.
Second you dance.
Third you wipe off all the pussy.
#11
Wait, got another one.

Was at marching band practice, and our instructor was going on and on about how we need to come to band camp, or else we're not in the band. Basically, the conversation went as follows:

"But really, band camp is sixty dollars." - Instructor

"And we HAVE to go. It's a trap." - Me

Then, out of the blue, my friend in the trumpet section leaps up from his seat in the back and screams Admiral Ackbar style, "IT'S A TRAAAAAP!"
If 4 more people tell me to go back to writing The Vanishing Point, I will.


UG's Commie Pinko Bedwetter
#12
Quote by 310320
Wait, got another one.

Was at marching band practice, and our instructor was going on and on about how we need to come to band camp, or else we're not in the band. Basically, the conversation went as follows:

"But really, band camp is sixty dollars." - Instructor

"And we HAVE to go. It's a trap." - Me

Then, out of the blue, my friend in the trumpet section leaps up from his seat in the back and screams Admiral Ackbar style, "IT'S A TRAAAAAP!"




this wins.
Honeybiscuit is here.
#14
My friend and his girlfriend were getting into it. It was starting to annoy me. I look at him and say
"If i were you in this situation I'd probably just headbutt her."

She of course looks shocked and he says. "No man. I'd never do anything like that. I really care about her." without even really thinking. needless to say it fixed things between him and her. She hates me now but so what? Tis not like she ever rubs me off.
#15
i farted and blamed it on my dog once
Gear
Highway One Tele (w/Custom Shop 51 Nocaster pickups)
Standard Tele (modded to Nashville specs)
Reverend Roundhouse

Orange Rockerverb 50 MKI
Vox AC4c1
Jet City JCA20H

And pedals!



"Shiva opens her arms now..
...to make sure I don't get too far"
#17
This black girl came to my elementary school to teach us how to hip hop dance. It was really stupid and a waste of time but at the end she had like a Q and A.

Without thinking I put up my hand and asked "Can you rap?"

She responded with "Why do you think I can rap?"

It made me look really racist and i was blabbering on like " Oh you know, you listen to the music and you know the dances so maybe you could rap"

Everyone knew i meant because she was black but it went dead silent.
I had to do something fast to get out of this awkward situation so I had a livestrong bracelet on, I took it off and shot it at the kid beside me in the face. He started screaming and I booked it out of there.

Simply brilliant
Quote by cliff_em_all
cof_median11 is a Child Rapist.

Quote by blink day 4 eva
Theres a mosquito that lives in my room and i let him bite me all the time and i let him live. It's our special deal. His name is "The Dude".

Quote by Babbs
cof_median11, you sick ****.
#19
Quote by cof_median11
Brilliant Story


.ılılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılılı.
#20
Quote by NewsoftheWorld
Well two of my friends were arguing about some stupid thing that I knew nothing about and I honestly felt that they were going to end up fighting.I then realized that I had lost the game.



lololololol


NOBODY CARES ANYMORE
Geets:
Ibanez GSA60
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Schecter Damien elite 7
Fender Highway one Telecaster

Pedals:
Visual sound Jekyll and Hyde


Amp:
Peavey 6505
Marshall M412a cab
Peavey Classic 50

GO STEELERS!
#21
This one kid with a serious mental handicap at my school managed to outsmart another kid somehow. It had to do with graphing, and dividing a line segment up or something like that, I can't quite remember, but it was really unexpected and quite humiliating for the normal guy.
#23
Quote by cof_median11
This black girl came to my elementary school to teach us how to hip hop dance. It was really stupid and a waste of time but at the end she had like a Q and A.

Without thinking I put up my hand and asked "Can you rap?"

She responded with "Why do you think I can rap?"

It made me look really racist and i was blabbering on like " Oh you know, you listen to the music and you know the dances so maybe you could rap"

Everyone knew i meant because she was black but it went dead silent.
I had to do something fast to get out of this awkward situation so I had a livestrong bracelet on, I took it off and shot it at the kid beside me in the face. He started screaming and I booked it out of there.

Simply brilliant

I can honestly say I have really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like.


I don't always post on UG, but when I do, I post in the Pit. Stay thirsty my friends.
#24
Quote by barden1069
i farted and blamed it on my dog once



Simply brilliant
Quote by ThinLizzyFan
I love you



Who's in a bunker?
Who's in a bunker?
Women and children first
And the children first
And the children
#26
Quote by Ledforthehead
Caught all the Pokemon, got a certificate, threw my Game Boy, exploded into confedi.


Alas its happened to us all
Quote by cliff_em_all
cof_median11 is a Child Rapist.

Quote by blink day 4 eva
Theres a mosquito that lives in my room and i let him bite me all the time and i let him live. It's our special deal. His name is "The Dude".

Quote by Babbs
cof_median11, you sick ****.
#27
not really a moment of brilliance, just a funny moment that happened to me...more of a brilliant on one part fail on the other. My buddy was driving me and another friend to this girls house out of town, and the driver didnt know where we were going. So my friend in the passenger seat, just as we start going over like a 40 ft. bridge goes:

"Yeah man take a right here"

So the driver ****ing swerves to the right while in the middle of this bridge then realizes where we are and corrects himself.

He almost killed us. Needless to say, it was the funniest **** ever.
Quote by bucktheduck

Call me troll, call me psychopath. In the end, I shall stand above you all as you drown in a pool of sex and filth. It will explode your corrupted bodies, and I will walk above the wreckage as a pure man.


Quote by DieGarbageMan

Haggard13 i are impressed
#28
I woke up completely naked in a hostel car park in a small fishing village 200 miles away from home. It's sad to say that's my greatest achievement, and I was pretty close to putting it in my CV.

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#29
Quote by Zero-Hartman
I woke up completely naked in a hostel car park in a small fishing village 200 miles away from home. It's sad to say that's my greatest achievement, and I was pretty close to putting it in my CV.


If this is real you rule.

Some night eh?
PICTURE YOURSELF IN A BOAT ON A RIVER
WITH TANGERINE TREES AND MARMALADE SKIES...
#30
Quote by teh_Beatles
If this is real you rule.

Some night eh?

I'd say We started drinking at midday and took the first bus we saw. Awesome night.

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#31
When I Came Around.
When I Came Blood.

Came. I mean, take your pick.
ಠ_ಠ WILL GIVE HEAD

Quote by Myxer
Have to give you props that the funniest post I read in a while
Quote by GogglesVK

hazardmaster has won this thread.


Fender Stratocaster 57' Reissue (Japanese)
Vox Valvetronix AD15VT
#32
Was at the movie theaters to see Star Trek and when the movie was starting it was completely silent and some guy just shouts "The Game!" and everyone was just like "Awwww wtf."
Feed your mind.
#33
I was at a sleepover in a tent with all my friends, and the tent was huge - it had three parts, one big one in the middle and two at the ends.

So, eventually, as we knew would happen, the two couples ended up in the end compartments with the door-thingys shut, and the rest of us in the middle.

Eventually, after hearing various noises (including a funny one of the girl going "harder..." then literally two seconds later "not so hard...") the girl emerged, and all the girls went out after her, as they do.

I was the only guy left in the tent, so the guy in the compartment came out and squatted by me on the floor. He kinda smiled and said "she was very good at it."

Then he looked me straight in the eye and said "I wasn't."

I rolled out of the tent from laughing so much
#34
Theres a guy in sixth form who spends most of his time molesting this one girl. She doesn't like it. So one lunch break he's trying to slip the finger and sh*t when everyone piles on him. But this doesn't incapacitate him. He continues to touch her up, so one of my friends positions himself slightly to the side of molester guy and almost in slow motion sack taps him. Everyone who was piled on top fell off and molester guy cried with pain.
<--- This is Wally. Not Waldo.

Gear List:
Ibanez RG570
Fender MIA Strat (in black, HSS)
Godawful Marshall MG practice amp

My Youtube
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#35
I once woke up naked, in a pool of my own blood, in a children's sandbox.
*A list of all my gear*

Varg/J Mascis/GG Allin are all the same person.

There are two types of people in this world: people who like Bolt Thrower, and people who suck.

Death by diamonds and pearls.
#36
Quote by Zero-Hartman
I woke up completely naked in a hostel car park in a small fishing village 200 miles away from home. It's sad to say that's my greatest achievement, and I was pretty close to putting it in my CV.

... Frankenstein? Is it you?
He likes Keats but she's into Yeats - it's a matter of Romance

E-Mistress to UG's Finest Gentleman


Come away, oh human child,
To the waters and the wild
With a fairy hand in hand;
For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.
#37
There was a big group conversation and for some reason people were talking about photos, and the conversation went like this.

A: I took loads of photos last year
B: I took a few yesterday but I neeed some more
*Arrives into conversation and hugs A from the back*
C: I took A from behind.


Many lulz insued
Quote by Fucking loads of people who were appeasing me in order for me to write
blues_to_thrash, you are the master of epic lulz



My Music


2K11
Last edited by blues_to_thrash at Aug 12, 2009,
#38
ohk, well one of my friends had just gone out and bought a really expensive mobile phone, that I had no idea about. The next day he took it to school, and dropped it on the oval. Later that day I was walking by and saw it, so naturally I picked it up and continued walking, having no idea it belonged to my friend. Meanwhile, my friend was going crazy trying to find his phone, and he asked another person if he knew where it was, now this person decided he would play a joke on me, and blame me for it, even though he actually had NO idea I had the phone, and I had NO idea it belonged to my friend. The relisation that It was all just a guees, was pure brilliance.. considering the ammount of people in our school...

Note* I was not going to steal the phone, but put it in student reception.
#39
I was at my girlfriend's house (sorry ladies) the other day. The discussion was on ex's, and the topic eventually came round to her ex of four years, who plays guitar very well but is a complete arsepiece. She asked me "Who do you think would win a guitar battle between you and him?" I, being modest, replied "Me". She askes "Why do you think that?" To this, and without a moment's hesitation, I answer "Because I'd just hit him around the head with mine". And "teh lulz", as you kids say these days, occurred.
#40
I was walking home with a girl who I quite like, and who I also have a class with every Tuesday. She's quite well to do and very straight laced, but I thought I'd chance it with a slightly risque but tongue in cheek joke. So I said to her, as we were nearing the part of our walk home where our directions change, "See You Next Tuesday!"

She doesn't look like she gets it, especially when I start cracking up like an immature little doucher. She asks me "What's so funny?" so I try to explain to her that "See You Next Tuesday" is almost a mnemonic for the word "****."

"Y'know -laugh- C-U-N-T! It means ****! SEE "C" YOU "U" NEXT "N" TUESDAY "T." By this point, I think even I had forgotten that the only reason that the joke was relevant was because I would literally see her again next Tuesday. So I'm laughing and laughing, but desperately trying to salvage the situation, looking like a total moron.

After about a couple of awkward minutes, she says "I don't believe you. I think you made that up." Suddenly, a guy who must have been walking behind us for a lot of the time walked passed us and just said: "He's right you know; See You Next Tuesday is another way of saying ****. Brilliant, isn't it?" And just walked off.

We both laugh, situation saved; she doesn't think I'm totally insane. Thank you, intervention of random stranger!
Quote by BlackLuster
DisgruntledDuck, I wish there were more people like you in the world.



Quote by Jaimz
You Sir, have my utmost respect


I have Jaimz' utmost respect and BlackLuster wishes that there were more people like me in the world!
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