#1
Since the moment that I was born
I been ten thousand different people
The anchors sailing without it's owner
Left the mothership behind

We'll laugh and we'll see what's behind the wallpaper
'Cause you're heading out
You're heading out tonight

The onion's peeled before it's blossemed
The grass has no other opinion
Couldn't recreate a mystery
Without the resome of reason

We'll laugh and we'll see what's beneath
'Cause you're heading out
You're heading out tonight
Powedered water....Just add water
#2
this piece was pretty short, and to be totally honest I dont see what point your trying to get across, maybe lengthen it a bit to make your message a little more clear. The only thing I seen wrong with it grammer wise was the third line "the anchors sailing without its owner" I think you should drop the s but I may be wrong

if you dont mind could you crit my newest piece finding solace? theres a link in my sig :peace