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#1
So I just heard that the uh...religious preacher folk (so as to not name the particular christian denomination), are in the neighborhood and will be coming to my door soon enough. So I wondered...what would be the best way to scare them off?

My friend once answered the door stark naked. They RAN.

Best way you scared folk away from your doorstep?
If 4 more people tell me to go back to writing The Vanishing Point, I will.


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#7
Quote by NinjaSlayHuman
Write 'Go away' on your penis and stick it out the letterbox.


If they are catholic, I dont think they will run away
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I you for posting this.

<-- Pretty much sums me up

8/7/09


^ I was there
#9
I once played some death metal through the intercom, but that was just for some random people passing by
Last edited by ComradSputnik at Aug 12, 2009,
#10
Answer your door naked with a bible in one hand and a lighter in the other other hand. Perhaps you could also draw a pentagram on your chest or something for added effect.

Guaranteed that they would leave terrified.
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#11
guess im not going to your door....
Lady Gaga if you're out there, i don't care if you have a penis or not, i will marry you
#12
answer it drunk and straddling a sex doll
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#13
Quote by kxy1992
If they are catholic, I dont think they will run away

only if its the priest
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#14
Answer stark naked, but with like a computer within vision of the preachers. Make the computer blaring pr0n, and get a pulsing erection from said pr0n.
#16
Quote by kxy1992
If they are catholic, I dont think they will run away


hey! >
not all catholics are weird!
#17
Talk to them and see what they have to say. Will be 10 times funnier screwing with them that way.
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#18


dress up like that.
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#19
Quote by burnboy85
Hide in the bushes with a chainsaw.

Yeah, go Patrick Bateman on their asses

Now, I would pound furiously on the bed closest to the door and make highly erotic sounds doing so.
Or take a massive sh!t on the doorstep before they come.
#20
naked always works. but works better is you're not the only one naked in the house. Or you're playing death metal in said condition: stark frikkin naked
The world doesn't revolve around you. If it does, beware. You're probably about to pass out drunk.

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#21
act like you're a straight-up, 100% satanist
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#22
Hand them a bill for using your property to advertise
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#23
Dress up like a member of the KKK.
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#24
best thing to do is answer the door in underwear invite them in and have a big pile of powdered sugar on your coffee table. sit down snort a line of it and ask them if they want one.
#25
draw a big pentagram on your forehead and bring a ''bloody knife'' (knife with ketchup on it )and answer the door ... and say ...

''one moment i need to finish sacrificing my goat to lucifer'',

then ask if he wants to help
#26
Convert them to Hinduism.
Quote by Shredder XXX
how about the way your entire country generalizes a culture by the actions of a few, citing any Americans idea of a middle eastern person.
#27
Wearing a ghillie suit
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Wake up people!
#28
Come out singing I Cum Blood, except in a normal singing voice so they can understand it.
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#29
Quote by kakos
draw a big pentagram on your forehead and bring a ''bloody knife'' (knife with ketchup on it )and answer the door ... and say ...

''one moment i need to finish sacrificing my goat to lucifer'',

then ask if he wants to help


Mmm, I've used that one before...except I brought my cat with me to the door, smeared with a bit o' ketchup. They simply said "Right..." and walked away.
If 4 more people tell me to go back to writing The Vanishing Point, I will.


UG's Commie Pinko Bedwetter
#30
Quote by 310320
Mmm, I've used that one before...except I brought my cat with me to the door, smeared with a bit o' ketchup. They simply said "Right..." and walked away.


you gotta make the blood look real .. not just pure ketup ... add a bit of red die .. you want the thickness of blood tho
#31
Shout YEAH! after everything.

"Can you spare some time to listen to what we have to say about god?"

"GOD YEAH!"

"May we come in?"

"C'mon YEAH!!"

"Why is there a dildo on your coffee table?"

"ANAL MASTURBATION YEAHH!!!".

etc.
#32
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjIgQdEi3r4

Do something like that.


or as someone suggested the satanic approach. Put on corpse paint and draw pentagrams. maybe some fake blood. and hold a flaming bible. and when they knock on your door just come out limping and let out a shrill cry. RAAHHHHHHH.


OR you could do what i did with my friend when we ordered chinese food and didn't want to tip.
I dressed up in womens clothing with makeup on and my friend is a real fat guy so he just got naked and put a leash on.
And as the door opened he started pouring gogurt over his torso and I started flirting with the delivery guy. and i gave him the 13 bucks i owed him and then i was like hold on a second stud let me find you some change, and i reached inside my pants and he was just like.

NO EES OK BYEBYE

He left me.
But i knew he wanted it.
Last edited by xMetalCoreKingx at Aug 12, 2009,
#33
Answer the door dressed in drag
"One does not walk into Vatican City with one's ass hanging out."
#34
Try to advertise to them your own religion. Preferably if your own religion is Satanism. Either devil worship Satanism or what Satanism really means now will be fine. =)
#35
Or just answer the door and every time they talk, respond with a line from Mr. Crowley (the yngwie / ripper version)
#36
Quote by Ottopilot
Answer the door dressed in drag


This, my own cousin avoids me because I was in drag at a party once.
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#37
catholic priests tend not to go to your door, its mainly jehovah's witnesses


but if we did go to doors, i shall avoid yours
Lady Gaga if you're out there, i don't care if you have a penis or not, i will marry you
#38
Quote by Ottopilot
Answer the door dressed in drag





Tell them they look hot (if it's hot out.) Invite them in. Put them in a hole and demand them to put the lotion on the skin and declare "I'm a dirty preacher" over and over. If they follow your instructions, then let them go.
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