#1
Yes, it is a bit generic, but I still like it.

The story behind this is that I've been listening to WAY too much For the Fallen Dreams recently, so I came up with some Metalcore. There is a random pause in the song (can't be bothered to find what bar) that comes right before a breakdown; this spot is intended to be filled with a scream.

C4C. It may take me up to 48 hours to get back to you, but I assure you I will when my schedule allows it.

Attachments:
Metalcore.zip
ESP Viper 1000 Deluxe

Peavey Vypyr 120 Head
ValveKing 4x12 Cab

ISP Decimator
Boss AC-2
Ibanez TS-7
#2
The intro was great. Great way to start off with a semi-epic intro.
I liked the progression at bar 9 to bar 16. If I were you i would repeat it and take out bars 17-32, (which is the same progression i think?), because I like the pattern from 9-16 better.
The riff from 32-48 was awesome. Very progressive-ey.
50-56 seemed kinda filler-ish. It was an ok riff, but not really necessary IMO.
57-68 was a good buildup riff, and transitioned well into the breakdown.
The clean part starting at 78 was really nice and peaceful, and the ending was pretty damn epic.

The song overall had a pretty epic-ly depressing mood, with a lot of metalcore influence. Great job.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1176502

Take your time. You sound like a busy guy.
My meh gear:
ESP LTD MH-400NT
Peavey Raptor Plus EXP
Digitech RP90
Digitech Bad Monkey
Electro-Harmonix Big Muff Pi (WTS)
Crate GT15 (SHIT)

GAS:
Peavey 6505 112 combo
MXR 10-band EQ
Ibanez TS-9
Boss HR-2
Compressor (open to suggestions)
#3
critting as I listen.

Well first off, the rhythm in the intro was awesome. really draws you in cause its different and unexpected. same old progression, but a different feel. So good job so far.

Good transition into the melodic part.

Br 17 starts a cool riff but it gets really old fast. Though I'm going to be fair and imagine this with vocals. And in my mind it'll be pure epic. So still good, if anything work on adding some intricacy in your guitar parts to keep it interesting even when the part is repeating.

Ahhh now on to the generic metalcore-ing. Standard riff, starts at 33. I suppose its good. But it feels like you spent a whole of 5 minutes of that part. I would honestly work on that a bit more.

The breakdown part starting at 40, however, is quite good. Still simple but it just feels good, haha. Plus its a good way to transition out of the previous part.

Now for the part staring at 57. Alright, I liked it, a lot. Though I feel it would be much more effective if you put a keyboard part there on a similar rhythm as the guitars but different, harmonizing notes obviously. Maybe a Rhodes Piano patch, but thats just me obviously. Still solid.

65..hm. I see what youre going for here. It's an interesting choice of transition and I can see it working in a real song setting. I personally am not big on it but I honestly have nothing constructive to tell you about it.

Alright the clean part was once again unexpected, but awesome. Very tight and pretty. Aha, and the breakdown riff that comes under it. I dig that kinda thing.

Good ending, you masterfully brought back the beggining melodic part. Classic, haha.

All in all, pretty standard and enjoyable metalcore piece. My generally suggestions are: Bring the keys into the song more, man. If you have a track for it you might as well throw it in elsewhere too. I'm sure it could only add. Be carefully not to put it in the wrong places though, obviously. Also, try to work with that generic metalcore riff a bit, give it an unexpected rhythm and keep it interesting. Best of luck with this one, its got potential.
#4
aww...i love me some metalcore...

bar1-8 this intro is sweet, i dont think its generic
bar9-16 awesomeness...i love the chord progression
bar17-24 i like how you kept the same chords and made it heavier, its golden
bar25-32 the drums here are excellent, an i like the rhythm guitar hitting chords
bar33-40 very metalcore riff....an ilove it,
bar 57-64 a nice break from the metal onslaught, it was very cool
bar70-77 i wasnt a fan of this breakdown, i dont know what it is, it just didnt suit me..
bar78-85 i love this riff even more when its clean, its so soothing
bar86-93 cool riff
bar110 i like the switch back to distortion an i like the synth

overall- i'd give it a 8/10....the only part that i didnt care for was the breakdown at bar 70 but other than that it was perfect...

C4C? its song 8 in my sig, if you have the time...thanks
#5
Critting as I listen...

The intro was great, gave it a very melodic but dramatic feel even though it was very simple.

The next part (verse I guess) was also brilliant - it feels like a very powerful song. I liked the contrast from this to the faster riff starting at bar 33, reminded me of Darkest Hour, which is always good. I liked the drums from bar 41 a lot.

I liked the fact that the breakdowns were a bit more than just the usual 0000--0000--00 or whatever, and the melodic part from bar 57 following a breakdown worked great.

Great work with the clean part. Absolutely no complaints.

To be honest, I'm trying my best to come up with some constructive criticism but I really couldn't find fault with that, really good work. Maybe I would have preferred a few more fast riffs like the one from bar 33, but that's about it.
Gear:
Schecter C-1 Hellraiser
Ibanez GRG170DX
Peavey Vypyr 75
Fender Princeton 650 DSP w/ Celestion 80w speaker
#6
The first part up to bars 40-50 is very cool, Im not really into metalcore but it sounds quite good. Liked your drum work although some fill ins are a bit too long.

I dont really like the breakdown. I have to admit I hate breakdowns in general, but thats just my opinion, I dont know what a metalcore-listener would say about this part.

The clean part sounds nice and blends over perfectly.The melodic part till the end is very cool too, I like the chord progression and a fade out outro really fits in here.

All in all It should be a decent metalcore song, although I cant really tell. With a solo it may be 9/10

Crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1183354
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