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#1
i had aculy drawn up some blueprints a wile back.
consitsed of me and my living friends grab my dads guns with max ammo. we drive to and storm the nearest wallmart and kill everything inside exept if we are shure they are alive. Then we secure the walmart from the inside by building bariiers with the mechanics parts from the auto dept. we leave a locked door with a car parked outside so we can go on our gas raids were we sent armed patrolls to find cars and steal gas for the generator so we can keep the food cold at least. i think we could last for a matter of months. maybee a year if we raid other stores and houses for there canned foods and raid for ammo.

the hardest part i believe will be takeing wallmart but thats what must happen to survive. also there is possiblilty of human raiders to fend off. much more of a concern than zombies after the fact of takeing the building.

so pit what would you change or expand about my plan or would you make a compleatly different one?

have fun
iron FUCKING maiden!!!
#2
Well I would have said throw you to the zombies as a distraction, but clearly you are so intelligent that when they eat your brains their intelligence levels will rise to near Stephen Hawking levels, and this can only be a bad thing in any potential zombie/human conflict.
#3
Quote by gamenerd323
i had aculy drawn up some blueprints a wile back
Are you drunk or did you get dropped on your head as a child?
#4
I'd go to the top of a very tall mountain with a very large gun. Mostly in case anyone else has that idea. There might not be much space up there.

consitsed of me and my living friends grab my dads guns with max ammo.


You have access to weaponry? Your father is retarded.
Last edited by webbtje at Aug 13, 2009,
#5
Your plan has one fatal flaw. The well thought out plan always goes wrong somewhere along the line. It's the guy who knows how to improvise that wins the day.

Also, you've put too much thought into this.
#7
I'd rather join the zombies, acting like I'm one of them. Watching movies makes you smart!
#8
Well I'd say get something so you can melt all the little metal parts of toys or whatever other useless things are there into more ammo.
#9
Umm. . .all I read from you was "I'll do exactly as the flooding masses would do."

Which also reads "I'll get myself killed by humans AND zombies".

I'd raid the corner shop (not many people on this street) for all the canned and dry food take to the country side and lock myself where I know I'll be away from the masses then just wait to die/be saved.
(this is an incredibly shortened version to what I'd normall put, you'd usually get an essay but I'm tired.)
#10
Quote by The_Casinator
I'd rather join the zombies, acting like I'm one of them. Watching movies makes you smart!


Remember to turn your mobile off.

Quote by Snake_42
Your plan has one fatal flaw. The well thought out plan always goes wrong somewhere along the line. It's the guy who knows how to improvise that wins the day.


There's also the whole 'zombies are fictional' thing.
#11
Quote by rigiddigits
Are you drunk or did you get dropped on your head as a child?

i was very drunk
iron FUCKING maiden!!!
#12
Quote by webbtje

There's also the whole 'zombies are fictional' thing.


NOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo!
Quote by GLP_Arclite
Pooping is well good though, to be fair.


I've got a handle on the fiction.

I'm losing my grip, 'cos I'm losing my fingers.
#13
guys its just to have fun realy be cool and dont be a smartass if you dont want to play
i know its fiction
iron FUCKING maiden!!!
#14
there is one flaw with wal-mart(unless you have the tools to fix it). wal-marts ceilings have these large glass windows, easily broken. I myself would go to my highschool. No windows at all, inpenetrable, secret ways and I know it well. From there I stock up on food and supplies and wait it out.
#15
Quote by gamenerd323
guys its just to have fun realy be cool and dont be a smartass if you dont want to play
i know its fiction


Be cool? You want us to talk about zombies and be cool? It's one thing drinking mountain dew while playing Dungeon's and Dragons and mainting a semblance of "cool", but this is too far man, too far. Unless it's Planet Terror. Which this isn't. I doubt so anyway. I think.
#16
Quote by webbtje
There's also the whole 'zombies are fictional' thing.

Then replace "zombies" with just about anything else and my point still stands.
#17
Find Angelina Jolie(from 20 years ago). If she's alive, do her to repopulate the world, if shes a zombie, shoot her then well, she can't say no then can she?

Edit: love webtjes quote, funniest troll ever.
Last edited by stevve at Aug 13, 2009,
#18
Quote by Snake_42
Then replace "zombies" with just about anything else and my point still stands.



Kittens? Crowbars? Wallpaper? Boron? Wrong! You're wrong!

Haaa haaa, snake 42 was wrong. He's silly.


*raspberry*


*sulk*
Last edited by webbtje at Aug 13, 2009,
#19
You understand that EVERYONE would rush to wallmart and you wouldn't be the only armed one right?
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#20
Quote by webbtje
Kittens? Crowbars? Moths? Wrong! You're wrong!

Haaa haaa, snake 42 was wrong. He's silly.


*raspberry*


*sulk*

what he means is to replace any wordwide catastrophe with it and it'll still work
#21
Quote by urik
You understand that EVERYONE would rush to wallmart and you wouldn't be the only armed one right?


I'm sure some would storm a K-mart. You can't argue with those prices!
#22
hahahah
In Israel you would be alright. There's an antibombs shelter in every building, so all you'd have to do is take a lot of food and wait there for some weeks .
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#23
Quote by pawnshopguitars
I'm sure some would storm a K-mart. You can't argue with those prices!

Yes you can. You just have to practice it at home in front of a mirror.
#24
Meh. You'll find me at the local pub, getting drunk then hatching some stupid plan to drive as fast as possible (while still half drunk) through the crowds of zombies in a car with a big bullbar, pumping something along the lines of the Dropkick Murphy's 'Kiss Me, I'm ****faced'...
Last edited by JohnnoEH at Aug 13, 2009,
#25
Hasn't anyone read World War Z? Go north. The Zombies will freeze and become incapacitated in the cold weather.
I play guitar like a pirate with two hooks....so...uh...just call me Meathook! Yar!
#26
I'd inflitrate the zombie group, gain their trust, and mate with their women. In a few years our differences will be forgotten.
XBL Gamertag:thor7861
message me you're from UG first

I can't think of anything to put here


#27
As an alteration to TS's plan, I'd shoot TS in the knees, so that the zombies would eat him while I escape.
#29
Quote by urik
hahahah
In Israel you would be alright. There's an antibombs shelter in every building, so all you'd have to do is take a lot of food and wait there for some weeks .


Evidence for the zombie apocalypse being a Zionist plot is mounting.
Zombies?
Zionism?
Coincidence? I think not.
Quote by Zero-Hartman
Damn you, bodyheatseeker

Quote by Paramore.
bodyheatseeker, I will NEVER forgive you.

#30
Quote by bodyheatseeker
Evidence for the zombie apocalypse being a Zionist plot is mounting.
Zombies?
Zionism?
Coincidence? I think not.


YES! And in that other thread about Rabbis flying over Israel to keep swine flu at bay...Jews don't even eat pork. There are no pigs in Israel. Evidently they are flying around conducting zombie experiments...


TO THE BATMOBILE!
#31
When I'm a bit older, I'm gonna stock my upstairs with a ton of non-perishable food and weapons. If the zombie apocalypse happens I'll destroy my staircase and go live up there for as long as I can, sniping zombies all day (with a silencer of course).
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#32
Quote by urik
You understand that EVERYONE would rush to wallmart and you wouldn't be the only armed one right?


A lesson from the book of Zombie Survival Guide.

"Supermarkets often have large, plate glass windows to display the delicious fresh food inside for all shoppers. To zombies, this principle is no different"

Walmart would be a horrible idea.
DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING
and
CAREFUL NOW


No man needs a holiday more than the man who has just had one.
#33
Quote by Deliriumbassist
Or was your mother very drunk?

I think it was both...
enjoi yourself


Quote by Arrived+Dparted




Zeus's beard, I died of laughter
#34
Quote by bodyheatseeker
Evidence for the zombie apocalypse being a Zionist plot is mounting.
Zombies?
Zionism?
Coincidence? I think not.

zebras?
zinc?

What are you trying to prove?
Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
The grandmother is having a baby with her grandson, so the grandson will be his own fathers father, the baby will be his own grandfather, and grandson, and the grandmother will be the mother, and great grandmother?

Quote by TheBurningFish
ಠ_ಠ
#35
If you think about it, most people are desperately unprepared for any type of invasion, be it by zombies (which are not completely unimaginable), aliens (there has to be aliens, its just a question of when humans will meet them), or illegal aliens, or terrorists. Probably the only people that would have a chance are those in the southern USA, and maybe Israel (due to mandatory military training).

I live in Canada and like 1 in 10 of my friends families owns a rifle and like 1 in 20 know how to use it.


SO if invaders did come, most of humanity is ****ed.


But if zombies did come (during the winter) Id sled up North with a gang of friends, with all the gasoline we could syphon and all the food we could tow, and all the guns we could scavenge, and live with the Inuit (Eskimos).


sorry I'm pretty bored, but I'm being serious


TEDIT:

Quote by Deliriumbassist
Or was your mother very drunk?


Last edited by Tedward at Aug 13, 2009,
#36
Quote by The_Casinator
I'd rather join the zombies, acting like I'm one of them. Watching movies makes you smart!


Quisling, as i believe they are called, are instantly recognised by the walking dead. They pose a threat only to themselves as Humans most often mistake them for real Zombies and attempt to "pacify them". Two telltale signs that you are facing a Quisling is the absence of any visible woulds and the action of blinking. Zombies do not need to blink, Quislings, do.

/lesson 2
DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING
and
CAREFUL NOW


No man needs a holiday more than the man who has just had one.
#37
Quote by JohnnoEH
Meh. You'll find me at the local pub, getting drunk then hatching some stupid plan to drive as fast as possible (while still half drunk) through the crowds of zombies in a car with a big bullbar, pumping something along the lines of the Dropkick Murphy's 'Kiss Me, I'm ****faced'...


Ed: What's the plan then?
Shaun: Right.
[cuts to dream sequence]
Shaun: We take Pete's car, we drive over to Mum's, we go in, take care of Philip - "I'm so sorry, Philip" - then we grab Mum, we go over to Liz's place, hole up, have a cup of tea and wait for this whole thing to blow over.
Ed: Why have we got to go to Liz's?
Shaun: Because we do.
Ed: But she dumped you!
Shaun: I have to know if she's all right!
Ed: Why?
Shaun: Because I love her!
Ed: All right... gayyy... I'm not staying there, though.
Shaun: Why not?
Ed: If we hole up, I wanna be somewhere familiar, I wanna know where the exits are, and I wanna be allowed to smoke.
Shaun: Okay.
[cuts to dream sequence again]
Shaun: We take Pete's car, go round Mum's, go in, deal with Philip - "Sorry, Philip!" - grab Mum, go to Liz's, pick her up, bring her back here, have a cup of tea and wait for this whole thing to blow over.
Ed: Perfect!
Shaun: No, no, no, no, no, wait, we can't bring her back here.
Ed: Why not?
Shaun: Well, it's not really safe, is it?
Ed: Yeah, look at the state of it.
Shaun: Where's safe? Where's familiar?
Ed: Where can I smoke?
[Shaun and Ed pause then slowly make a realisation]
Shaun: [cuts to dream sequence a third time] Take car. Go to Mum's. Kill Phil - "Sorry." - grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over. How's that for a slice of fried gold?
Ed: Yeah, boyyyeee!
[Shaun and Ed clang their weapons together]

"Most people are trying to simplify the world. We're definitely here to complicate it." - Dad
Quote by RocksAwakening5
I you for posting this.

<-- Pretty much sums me up

8/7/09


^ I was there
#38
LISTEN TO THIS MAN^

Simon Pegg wholeheartedly endorses the Zombie Survival Guide! The man knows his stuff!
DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING
and
CAREFUL NOW


No man needs a holiday more than the man who has just had one.
#40
Quote by Preid


Way ahead of you TS.


Right. Im going to point out the flaws in your plan. I myself am an expert in the field of Zombology.

Firstly, sunglasses will obscure your vision at distance, which is something you need to spot zombies on flat terrain.
Secondly, the dangling tassles and ties on your jacket will only make you an easier target to grab should, God help you, you find yourself in melee with any Zombies.
Thirdly, your choice of weapons is poorly thought out. A petrol powered "strimmer" isnt going to cut down many zombies before it needs to be refuelled or repaired. Also, it will give off an incredibly din, attracting more zombies. Your secondary choice of a golf club will be your undoing as it will undoubtedly break after very little use as golf clubs are not made to withstand that sort of activity.
As for food, you will likely be unable to heat food for vast periods at a time and should have a reserve where you can grow your own crops or a storehouse near your main stronghold. A boat is simply not a plausible stronghold as you will probably need several members of crew and each member puts a strain on resources, which i remind you, are critical in this sort of situation.
Motorcycles, like the strimmer, are both loud and unreliable. One spill from the bike will cause you injury and also offers you next to no protection if you have to apss directly through a swarm of Zombies.
However i should commend you on your choice of companion. An owl will be able to scour the surrounding area with great precision and warn you of impending danger.

/lesson 3
DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING
and
CAREFUL NOW


No man needs a holiday more than the man who has just had one.