#1
Kinda dark, I guess? I'm not quite sure about the title yet, so, suggestions are welcome.

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Sunset on the quiet city of broken hearts and love despair
Stranded in an empty place b'tween loneliness and solitaire
Looking 'cross the water, blinded, waiting for the break of day
There's no time for silly songs and stories at this shallow bay

Sounds of life appear to me from endless distances unknown
Hollow voices softly whisper in my ear when I'm alone
Contradictions, words inflict these shattered, exhausted brains
In my head, mixed feelings mark a period of time of change

Chorus 1:
Even when the nights seem without stars
I know I must go on
Even when my life seems so bizarre
I know I must go on
Chorus 2:
Even when the days are filled with fear
I know I must go on
Even when I see the end is near
I know I must go on

Shades of dark, abandoned buildings follow me whereas I stroll
Open doors and broken floors, those houses never lose their souls
Cloudy nights will never wash away the shining stars behind
If I could, I surely would redo the times/things I can't rewind

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Last edited by IvoW at Aug 14, 2009,
#2
I actually don't mind this song in a writing sense.
And i dont mind the rhyming, although there will be people with issues with it.

From what i get from this your having a tough time and trying to will yourself on to hold on. I like that. Hope is always a good theme.

My only issue with this is that i don't feel that i personally connect with it. In saying that though, a good singer can do wonders with that.

Could you please crit on of my songs
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1181697
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1181688

thanks
The times are changing
#3
I liked it. The imagery was done very well, and you did a good job of making the lyrics personable which can be hard with songs like this. Good job. First stanza was my favorite