#1
so yeah... this is my first song, and i don't think it is that great, but i just come for constructive criticism. There is no music for it yet, i find that a lot harder than lyrics.
So anyways, here it goes. Its called "Babe You're Beautiful"

When i look into your eyes
my body seems to melt like ice
What is this feeling
deep inside of me.

Your radiant smile is always there
as if in this world you have no care
You brighten my mood
and make me share your glee

You're kind, smart, and funny too
You're the Pied Piper and you call my tune
You're like and angel
who came down from the skies

Your eyes gleam like the stars at night
Make me feel as a high as a kite
It would hurt me to see
a tear drop from those eyes.

(i think this would be the chorus)
Girl i love you i love you so
worth more than diamonds and more than gold
And i just want you to always know
babe you're beautiful.
All the way from Palm Springs, just out of detox.
Show him a warm welcome, let's hear some applause
#2
I really like the pied piper line, its quite funny and clever.

However, most of the rest of the song is pretty cliche. Not always a bad thing, cliches do have their place. But on the downside, sometimes they lose the meaning they are intended to share. This song clearly is meant to be a happy, upbeat love song, and yes, it sure is, but I hear these phrases so often that it isn't AS loving as it could be. I do give you credit though, love songs are among the hardest to write.

That said, there are many famous, but cliche riddled love songs out there, you could do far, far worse with a first song.
#3
Don't tell us you don't think it's great.
You've gotta put your heart and soul into writing, and you have to believe that every song you write is the best that it could possibly be
#4
Quote by greyeyedfire
Don't tell us you don't think it's great.
You've gotta put your heart and soul into writing, and you have to believe that every song you write is the best that it could possibly be
I don't agree with that. There's no shame in not believing your own writing is great. This is not the business world, this is writing: confidence can soon grow into cockiness if you are not aware of yourself.

Sorry for stealing your thread, I thought I'd say that, though.