#1
I should mention i'm gay, and i'm writing from a guys point of view on another guy.. currently in Myrtle Beach!

(Verse 1)
As I wipe the sandy shore off my soul
Not expecting to collect memories this old
I think of you sifting through the dunes
As I ride with boys in cars like new

I have no place to go
And I’m not gonna fake it anymore
I’m not gonna fake it anymore
I’ll tell you for sure

(Chorus)
Why can’t the atlantic ever be the same
Lonely umbrellas and stepping on sand dollars
Missing the boy who once called out my name
I’ll never be the same

(Verse 2)
I’m running from paradise like the boy on the bike
I’m the one who gave his last dime to a girl working the side
Like a hurricane gaining speed
I was the herb that allowed you to breathe

I have no place to go
And I’m not gonna fake it anymore
I’m not gonna fake it anymore
I’ll tell you for sure

(Chorus)
Why can’t the atlantic ever be the same
Lonely umbrellas and stepping on sand dollars
Missing the boy who once called out my name
I’ll never be the same

What is it that makes you kill me
I would die for nothing less than to leave this state
Used to be a friend, now a visitor too soon to leave
I’ll never be the same

(Bridge)
Someday you’ll come back to me
To this lonely vacation you once loved me
Like a hurricane gaining speed
I was the herb that allowed you to breathe
#2
Well im not gay, so i wouldn't know what any of that feels like,
but if i had to guess, i would say this is much of a coming out story as it is about a boy, which I think is pretty neat.
From a technical standpoint, this was very well executed. Rhymes were great, flowed well, etc...
I would venture to say this is the kinda song that would benefit from a catchy chorus, but the chorus you have now doesn't really stick, if you get what im saying there.
Also, the verses were lacking some of the personality of the rest of the song. They were both kinda bleh....
All in all, good work
If you could say a few words for the dearly departed song called Weightless Hallelujah in my sig, it's family would really appreciate it (Don't worry, it's just faking the death)
#3
As I wipe the sandy shore off my soul
Not expecting to collect memories this old
I think of you sifting through the dunes
As I ride with boys in cars like new
This was a great verse. I think it was carried by its flow and the great beach/sand imagery you used. I did find the last line worded a bit awkwardly, like it was phrased that way to forced the dunes-new rhyme. I think another word would serve this verse better.

I have no place to go
And I’m not gonna fake it anymore
I’m not gonna fake it anymore
I’ll tell you for sure
Solid pre-chorus. Not much to say here lyrically except that I can envision a good build-up to the chorus from this

(Chorus)
Why can’t the atlantic ever be the same
Lonely umbrellas and stepping on sand dollars
Missing the boy who once called out my name
I’ll never be the same
I really liked the "umbrella" and "sand dollars" images here creating the melancholy tone I think you were shooting for. However, I feel like the second line to too wordy or has too many syllables. Also, I have to agree with greyeyedfire that this chorus doesn't really shine as a chorus. I always had a problem with writing lackluster choruses until I figured that the chorus should really drive home the feeling you want the song to have, while the verses are there to support that feeling with details. I feel like this chorus needs to be more evocative, and really make me feel how much you miss this guy.

(Verse 2)
I’m running from paradise like the boy on the bike
I’m the one who gave his last dime to a girl working the side
Like a hurricane gaining speed
I was the herb that allowed you to breathe
Good word-choice to continue with the beach image. There's not much I would change here except the last two lines. I failed to see the connection between a "hurricane gaining speed" and a "herb". Since you started the third line with "Like...", I'm expecting you're starting a simile comparing something else to a hurricane. So I was confused when you compared the hurricane with a herb. You may have just worded it wrong or maybe it just speaks to my shortcoming as a reader, but I couldn't quite understand it.

I have no place to go
And I’m not gonna fake it anymore
I’m not gonna fake it anymore
I’ll tell you for sure
same as above

(Chorus)
Why can’t the atlantic ever be the same
Lonely umbrellas and stepping on sand dollars
Missing the boy who once called out my name
I’ll never be the same
same as above

What is it that makes you kill me
I would die for nothing less than to leave this state
Used to be a friend, now a visitor too soon to leave
I’ll never be the same
another solid part. I would be wary of the using "kill" and "die" because these words have been overused so much that they border on cliche. Personally, I don't you've crossed that line though.

(Bridge)
Someday you’ll come back to me
To this lonely vacation you once loved me
Like a hurricane gaining speed
I was the herb that allowed you to breathe
same as above with the last two lines. Maybe you could explain that part to me?


All in all, I really liked these lyrics. The flow of it made it especially enjoyable. I think you should consider revising the chorus to really drive home the certain emotion you want to have driven home and then you'll be on your way.
here, My Dear, here it is
#4
Thanks alot for the advice you guys. My chorus' have always been lackluster. When i start out lyrics its usually because i feel strongly about something and its stuck in my head, but the feeling is most strong when i start writing, so its hard to think of chorus's after strong verses.. Maybe Verses could be the chorus's?

Also the "Like a hurricane gaining speed, I was the herb that allowed you to breathe" lines resemble someone smoking weed, but i agree that "Like" was not the best choice starter because i can see how you're lost.

Also, my Pre-chorus bridge parts "I'll tell you for sure" i borrowed that line from ATB's infamous Ecstasy.

Thanks again i'll definitely read on both of yours.