#1
Hay guise. I've been writing this since the start of the year, during which I've had several massive periods of writer's block, but it's finally "finished", at least in the sense that it has an outro. I also managed to avoid a few things that were becoming cliches in my songs, so I'm happy about that. Not quite sure about some bits though, the end seems a bit eh, I'm planning on changing a lot of it, so I'll see what feedback I get.

Crit for crit if you want, and all criticism or comments of any kind are very welcome. Anything that's remotely wrong with it, criticize the shit out of.

Thanks.

EDIT: Made a few changes.
Attachments:
solace apparition gp4.zip
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
Last edited by whalepudding at Nov 17, 2009,
#2
Goddamn that's cool...
I love it.
Most epic bit of prog I've heard in a while.
And I'm not even that much into prog xD

Good work, sir.
Quote by R. Shackleford.
Glad to see the sex king getting some action I think it might be time for me to pull him out again tonight and take him for a spin around the rift.
#3
Critng as i listen. Mind if you crit mine awhile?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1181112

Well first off if this is as epic as it current seems it needs a real sweet intro

You should always make stuff playable bro. I am not sure if those tied 32nd notes are playable and it doesnt sound too good IMO
Minus Track 2 I really like the bars up to 9

bars 10 and on really sweet use of panning and dissonance here. Strings made this great.
I love the clean bit after the secon repeat
23 and on I like the counter disto riff to the clean part.
this part at 32 is Inanely good. Might repeat too much with little variation but i love these riffs.
46 liked this part a good bit
54 and on was probably my favourite part. Seemed to have a groove to it sorta.
Liked the arpegiation at 62
seems like a good transiiton into a bridge perhaps.
U brought back the riff i liked yay :3
didnt like the part at 83 nearly as muchI expected like a solo perhaps.
loved the soloy thing at 98
Great use of the harp at 112 kinda goes on too long IMO
125 seems really trippy and cool lol
I just like alot of this stuff but ima look for a solo and crit there.
I think 207s supposed to be a solo? if so. Its good but shouldnt repeat like it does..
I dont really like the piano outro.. I think it could be.. brighter? perhaps.

overall good work. 8.5/10
Last edited by mtgold83 at Aug 15, 2009,
#4
Cheers for the crit I'll crit yours in a bit. I'll take what you said into account, and by the way there isn't a solo anywhere, the thing you thought was a solo was just the pre-chorus bassoon melody turned into a heavy riff, and sort of the final verse. I'm thinking of maybe putting a solo over the riff at bar 83 though. And bar 145 onwards is sort of solo-shaped.

Also, the two bits you mentioned the repetitiveness of are verse and chorus, in that order. So hopefully the vocals would improve that a bit.
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
Last edited by whalepudding at Aug 15, 2009,
#5
well tehre could definatly be a nice solo here. and no your lyrics didnt suck they are better than what I could write probably im just saying they didnt seem to fit the music :[
#6
Wrong thread I think there, I didn't include lyrics.
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
Last edited by whalepudding at Nov 17, 2009,
#7
l,ol hahaha the solo part was referenced to u XD.. the lyrics was supposed to go to my Alt tab
#9
Fun to listen because its so progressive Guitars at beginning are pretty... hard? But i still love these melodies (how in hell u get 12 different intruments fit together like that?) 10/10
#11
...That was interesting.

I'm not sure how much I liked it, but I did really like parts of it. To me, it was really impressive how you got everything to fit together, and when you wanted something heard, it was heard. I thought the orchestral stuff was a bit overbearing, and needed to be turned down though.

I loved how dark it was as well. But, it did drag on. I thought a lot of it could use some cuts in repeats. Especially the part with the harp and the descending guitar arpeggios.
#13
In response to your PM, yes, I do remember. I had forgotten, but I immediatley remembered the song when I read your PM. And boy, am I glad you did let me know.

This is pretty ****ing awesome. I really like where you've taken it.
#16
Damned nice song indeed. You worked hard on getting those hooking melodies, and it shows. Although there is some repetitiveness involved, it doesn't reach the point of boredom. Still, 4-time repeat times isn't going to do a lot of good for you. Small variations, be it on the drum pattern, bassline or on melody itself help keeping the song interesting. Well, that only happens once, perhaps I'm nitpicking... I really didn't get bored.

I love the grim sound you put in this... for example with the C-minor/E-minor contrast (bar 46-onwards, etc.). Dissonant, sure, but very well pulled off. Key change to F-minor sounds very dramatic. Some of the chord progressions you use throughout are classic tricks (like Am-G#m - many songs supposed to be "grim" have it), but pulled off in a great fashion.

Orchestration-wise, it's near perfect. Sometimes it gets kinda busy, but that's understandable with 12 tracks and big distorted chords. Helps to the heaviness of the whole thing. Bonus points for killswitch on 122! sounds great even in MIDI.

Soloing-wise... while there are lots of melodies going on in this, I think the "main" solo is the one starting at 140. It's good but the harmonization goes off-key a bit.. could be interpreted as intentional dissonance but it sounds kinda messy to me. There were other solo bits that I liked a lot more, like the dual stuff from 23.

Rhythm-wise.. nothing wrong with triplet-feel 4/4 Usually prog-metal is associated with time-sigs all over the place, but this rhythm doesn't get boring. good stuff, although I might have variated it a little. This song is pretty "tight" though, there might not be room for that.

To sum up, one of the best I've heard on this site so far. 9.5/10

C4C? It's the last one on my sig.

PS: just remembered. The end.. I think the main melody should repeat like that, gets long. Personally, I'd have that removed and put a nice outro solo instead... get the point?
Last edited by |_JR_| at Aug 23, 2009,
#17
Holy ****! This crit's gonna sound like I'm just kissing your ass but I seriously loved this song!

It's been said, but that sweep picking in bar 3 and 7 definitely has to go.
The intro is really great. You powerfully establish an eerie atmosphere.
The clean guitar triplets are catchy too, and sound Opethy to me.
From 36 the rhythm is awesome and the harp in the background tops it off for me.
The bassoon in 46 onward seemed weird to me. I think it's the harmonization. I do admit though, it sticks with you!
Love the riff starting at 62, and the return to a previous riff, and everything after it.
The outro didn't measure up to the rest of the song, IMO. It seemed to just...end.

Overall that was one of the better pieces I've heard on this forum. You could write music for movies, lol.

Mind looking at mine? It's in my sig.
#18
Dude this is by far one of the best songs I have heard on here in awhile...I have nothing to crit. I loved all of it
Make an album now